- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Baby Showers
LadyHollywood
member
Who throws a shower, traditionally?
LadyHollywood
member
in Baby Showers
My mother and I got on the subject last night, which left me in tears, but anyway....
Does your bridal party traditionally throw your baby shower? I got married in October of 2007... I had never heard of this before and I am pretty sure my bridal party hasn't either. My mom's response.... "Well, if you don't have a shower, it's not the end of the world."
This is my first child, and I was really upset by her response. I'm not materialistic at all, I would just not want to miss out on the experience of celebrating this new life my husband and I are bringing into the world. I didn't say anything to her, just got off the phone and cried. I tried to explain to DH what happened, and he's such a guy - totally doesn't understand what the big deal was.
Thoughts?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Who throws a shower, traditionally?
I am not familiar the practice of the bridal party throwing the shower. Usually a close friend(s) throw the showers. These days family members hosting is also common. Some will argue it's tacky for family members to do so but whatever, times change.
yeah, to follow on hocus, your mom is wrong about the bridal party. Their "obligation" ended when you got married.
That being said, though, you are 25 weeks. There is still plenty of time for a shower to happen- perhaps your friends are already talking, and maybe even planning a surprise shower. Are surprise showers at all the norm in your area/circle?
I do get your disappointment. W/o it being about gifts, having a shower to celebrate YOU and your baby is fun!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I would be sad if no one threw me a shower. At dinner with 4 girlfriends recently, they asked about my shower and all said they wanted to "help." But no one offered to take the lead. So I was feeling sad. Then, one of my other friends asked and I told her a few folks wanted to "help" but no one offered to take the lead. So she was thrilled and asked if she could do it! Then, a few days later, another friend called and also asked if she could throw me a shower.
Keep your chin up. You never know who is going to offer
I don't think there's any traditional answer. I think it's generally your close girlfriends who band together to do this. And since friendships evolve, the women you are closest to now may not necessarily be your bridal party.
Another story to hopefully make you feel better. I was worried no one would throw me a wedding shower. And then I ended up having three! So it's too early to feel sad about this. Just don't talk with your mom about this. Clearly, she didn't realize how important this was to you and didn't realize it would make you feel down.
My mom is old school and doesn't think it is appropriate for her to throw a shower. If it hadn't been for my girlfriends, I would not have had a shower. Funny part was, my girlfriends hosted it, but they asked mom if we could have it at her house, since she was the most centrally located. She agreed and did not have a problem with that. So you mom may still contribute, but your friends may have to ask...anyone can throw you a shower...someone will, don't worry!
I've actually heard recently that your bridesmaids are supposed to throw your bridal shower (obviously) and the moms are supposed to throw the baby shower. My mom, sister, mom-in-law, and sis-in-law are throwing my baby shower.
Maybe your mom just said that to throw you off? Is she into surprises? Don't get to discouraged yet. You never know what will happen/who will come through.
I agree with the others as far as bridesmaids throwing your baby shower. Your mom is wrong. Their obligation ended when you got married.
Traditionally the person who hosts the baby shower is maybe a cousin or friend (not somone really, really close to you). Of course as with most things, traditions included, times have changed and baby showers are thrown by friends, cousins, aunts, and sisters. Some are even thrown by the mom-to-be's mom or MIL...although it really shouldn't be. I definitely helped with my DD's shower but her girlfriend was the hostess and her number and email was on the invite not mine. I helped with finances, cooking, getting decorations, invites and favors. We both were up until 2 am putting up the decorations. lol Another 2 girlfriends helped at the actual shower (with games, etc) so I could enjoy myself.