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Pregnant after 35
WWYD? Long vent
I'm really sorry to have nothing good to say over the past couple of days!! 
When we first found out that I was pg DH was wonderful. He didn't want me to take out the trash because he thought it was too heavy. He didn't want me to go in the basement to wash clothes because the steps are a little questionable and there is no hand rail. I would rather have done those things then than do them now when my back is constantly hurting and it hurts to walk most of the time. Apparently the newness for him has worn off and everything is fair game again. I actually mentioned last night about him not wanting me to do anything at first. His response? "Well then my clothes started getting dirty." And it's not like I never do anything. I cook, clean the house and wash dishes.
We have an 11 month old aussie shephard/beagle mix. He is full of energy and gets very excited when we come home. So excited that he is constantly jumping up and always comes in contact with my stomach. It scares me sometimes. We have a lead to put him on outside so when it's nice outside we use that because he can get most of him energy out. I put him on the lead yesterday afternoon, which is still a chore because he doesn't like it. He is a strong dog so it takes a lot out of me to do that. But, I did. So last night it was time to bring him in. DH told me it was my turn. I told him I would rather he do it since Riggins will just jump all over me. He acted like he didn't want to but would anyway. Well all of that happened right before the "hurtful comment" so I ended up getting Riggins myself because I didn't want him to do a damn thing for me. lol. Of course it takes forever to get him off the lead because he is constantly jumping up and once I get him back on the leash to take him in he is yanking and pulling on me to the point that I have to let go of the leash or he will just pull me down.
Anyway, do I just need to not even say anything and just start doing everything around the house so I don't have to feel guilty about him doing the laundry? I'm just really ticked at him I guess. LOL
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Re: WWYD? Long vent
Shannon, the bigger problem I see here is that you have a uncontrollable animal in your house and you're about to introduce a baby into it. That seems like a really, really bad idea. What does your husband say about that????
Riggins needs obedience training immediately. Sign both your dog and your husband up for classes at PetSmart or where ever and make it his responsibility to go.
As for hubby, he's gotten so used to you doing everything already that he doesn't get the fact that your marriage is a partnership. You're not his maid. You're not his mother. He needs to step up and help out more. It will only get worse once the baby comes.
DH grew up with dogs. So, when we decided to get a dog he said he would have no problem training the dog. Uhhh, it hasn't happened yet and I keep telling him that we have to do something. His response is "I know." Riggins is very good at listening to basic commands. He was easy to potty train and has done very well with that but yeah, I can't for the life of me get him to stop jumping. DH swears that as soon as he turns a year old he is going to magically "calm down". I'm not convinced. I even bought a book and have looked up things online about how to train him. What I'm doing isn't working. He can be really good sometimes and he is very sweet but there are times when I want to put him outside and never bring him back in the house again!
I am getting very frustrated. DH has always been really good at doing his share of the work around the house. He still does it now but I guess I'm just frustrated because we started this pregnancy with certain expectations and now they've changed.
Of course he was taking today off so I know when I get home the laundry will be done. I just don't want to feel guilty about it though.
On top of all that I'm still pissed about the comment he made last night about my previous marriage so maybe that's why I'm so crabby.
I'm a huge procrastinator and HATE housework in general. I know it drives my anal-retentive husband up the wall, but I get defensive when he calls me out on stuff, too. That being said, you have to pick your battles. Is it worth WWIII that he slacks on some things? Probably not.
But the dog thing needs to be remedied. Be proactive for your family's sake, pick up the phone and call for classes. The dog isn't going to just magically "settle down" in a month when it hits a year old. Is he fixed, btw?---If not, that needs to probably happen, too, to help calm him.
It really sounds like you two need to sit down and just have a heart-to-heart about a lot of issues that you're "letting ride."
Yes, he is fixed and was when we got him in February. He was 3 months old then.
Thanks and you are right. We do need to have a talk!
It sounds like you two need a long talk about how poor you are feeling and the division of labor. (I think 40 weeks is a long time for some men's attention spans)
Perhaps, offer a compromise. Do you feel you could do the laundry, if HE promises to carry the basket of clothes up and down the rickety stairs with no hand rail.
But I agree, I think Riggins is the immediate problem. As the owner of two big high energy dogs, I can promise your husband from the depths of my soul that he is not going to calm down when he reaches one. It's not his fault it's in his DNA. Aussies are known for their boundless energy and well, beagles were born to chase rabbits. I would suggest two things.
1. Immediate training class for Riggins to work on jumping. Gently but firmly remind husband of what could happen if Riggins jumps on you when you are carrying a newborn. ?You probably both need to go to class if possible with him. Tell the trainer you are particularly concerned about jumping because you have a baby on the way.?
2. ?It sounds like Riggins needs a better outlet for his energy than the dog run. I know my three-year-old golden/pit bull/ who knows what mix needs at least a two mile walk every other day PLUS play time with our other dog or she gets a little nutty and forgets her commands.
Can husband walk him daily? What about hiring a dog walker or taking Riggins to doggie day care one or two days a week? After little one comes, perhaps you can all go for family walks with you pushing the stroller and husband walking Riggins. The ladies on the pets board on the nest might have better suggestions on getting pets ready for life with baby.?
Good luck with everything! I hope you feel better soon.?
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Maybe you guys could make a list of things you can do and things that are hard or dangerous for you to do. My DH doesn't want me to lift anything heavy or do anything that makes me dizzy or feel nauseated. But, honestly, I am pretty spoiled by DH. The only chore I have in the house is cooking, and I like to cook, and I do my own laundry. DH does pretty much everything else around the house, and he has had a maid for years, so the maid does the heavy cleaning. When I am just too tired to cook or I don't feel like eating, DH will find leftovers to eat or pick food up for us.
Maybe you can explain to your DH that handling the dog is not safe for you b/c the dog needs training and jumps on your belly, which could injure the baby. You may also ask DH to walk/exercise the dog from now on, or you can walk the dog together for some exercise. DH and I like to go for walks together b/c that gives us time to chit-chat and bond even more, since we both lead very busy lifestyles.
I agree with the others about training Riggins. I had a high-energy dog once who jumped on everyone, and that is unacceptable around children. We took the dog to a training class, and it was actually really fun!
You should not ignore the problems between you and DH and end up doing everything yourself. Marriage is a partnership. When you are weak, he needs to step up and be stronger. The key is open and clear communication. Good luck!
When I got home last night all of the laundry was done, he had washed the dishes, swept and mopped the floor and was cooking dinner.
He told me that I know that he puts his foot in his mouth about once a week and Sunday was that once a week.
We talked about the division of responsibilities and he said he will continue to do the laundry because he really doesn't want me walking up and down the stairs to the basement.
We talked about Riggins too and I told him that we had to do something about the dog jumping. At first he played it off and then I did ask him what would happen if he jumped on one of us while we were holding the baby. I think that got his attention.
The dog lead actually works really well for Riggins and does a great job of getting out his energy, esp if he is left on there for a long period of time, which is easier to do when the weather is nice. It was hard for a couple of days because it rained so much that even getting a walk in was impossible. Riggins does seem to do better when he has plenty of exercse.
I appreciate everyone's suggestions. They have been a big help!