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TTC after 35
sad news :(
Hi, Girls.
My betas dropped tremendously today - down to 100. I am going to lose the pregnancy.
The only question is if it will happen naturally, or if it will take some sort of procedure. I have to go back for blood work on Monday.
If I may whine for a minute: This loss is sad, but it is compounded by this feeling that getting pregnant in the first place was a miracle that is unlikely to happen again. I am trying not to be angry with God/the universe/my body for letting this happen. Mostly, I'm being successful. But I have moments!
I am not sure what this means for us in terms of TTC - part of me wants to continue to try naturally, part of me wants to procede as quickly as possible to IUI, and then go back to natural if it doesn't work. I do know that, one way or the other, I want to keep trying. The nurse said that getting pregnant is a good sign. She recommended being as aggresive as we area willing to be, because time is of the essence. (My skeptical side noted, well, yeah, you work at a fertility clinic.)
If anyone has been through this before, I would really appreciate it if you could offer any insight as to how long it will take, once the betas start dropping, for the m/c to start. Also, I'm wondering what to expect, and how long it will be before my cycle resumes. . I know this is a painful subject, so I understand if you can't talk about it. But if you can, feel free to PM me if that would be easier.
Thanks to all of you for your prayers and support. It has meant so much.
Joyful
This discussion has been closed.
Re: sad news :(
Oh Joyful, I am so sorry. Lots and lots of virtual <<hugs>> for you. I agree with your nurse. I think that getting pregnant is a really good sign. I don't think you need to make any decisions about what to do next until you let this sink in a bit.
I don't have any information about the m/c. My m/c was so early that I hadn't even gone to get a beta yet. I would think if your beta was dropping that fast you will get your period pretty quickly, but I don't really know. For me, I had bad cramps, but a much lighter than normal AF. My next cycle was completely normal.
We are all here for you Joyful.
Joy, I am so sorry...this is not what I wanted to see today or any day. My heart goes out to you and your DH.
You are in my thoughts and prayers
(((hugs)))
Sooo sorry to hear your news! You will be in my T&P. Take care of you!
Hugs!
Oh Joy, I am so sorry to see this. I have to agree with Holly and the nurse, you did get pregnant and that proves it is possible and a good sign.
It's hard to be a crossroads on deciding next steps. Maybe you can digest all of this and then go from there. No reason not to keep trying naturally in the meantime.
Oh Joy, I am so sorry. I know there is nothing I could do or say to make your pain go away, but please know we are all here for you.
<<big, BIG hug>>
I am so, so sorry.
I hate that you are going through this.
As for my experience, my first M/C, I was not as far along, so my betas just dropped on their own. It took about a month for them to go back to 0.
When I lost my 2nd twin ( 2nd pregnancy) , I was further along- 8 weeks.
I waited to about a week to miscarry on my own, but my body would not cooperate; I finally had to have a D&C.
If you have any questions at all, please let me know. Hang in there and huge hugs to you, honey.
Oh Joy. I am so so so sorry.
For me, the betas dropped slowly and the m/c never did start on it's own, so we used the misoprostal to make it start. Many people do the d&c or the miso if things don't start, because the waiting can be difficult emotionally.
On a positive side, I am pretty sure I ovulated this week. So, if I took the day we induced the m/c to be cd1, if I ovulated this week it was cd18(ish), which is usual for me. So things "seem" back to normal very quickly.
We will be going to do an IUI as soon as the RE will do it.
I am PMing you my email address if you want to talk more. Please know I am here for you (we all are) and you shout, scream and do whatever.
Love to you.
The pain is unbearable, I'm so sorry.
I had a d&c with my m/c because I wanted it over with so I could start trying again as soon as possible. AF came 32 days after the dc and I got pregnant with Emerson immediately after that, naturally!
I can't tell you the number of women I know that have gotten pregnant right after a d&c. Your pregnancy hormones are still up and it's like the d&c cleans you all out and it's just a good climate in there.
I'm sorry if this is insensitive right now....just my experience.
Again, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. It's not fair.
Joyful...I Am so sorry to hear this news. I will continue to keep you and DH in my T&P. Remember...we are all here for you if you need us.
As far as the mc goes. Mine happened naturally. I had started spotting and cramping and just knew something wasn't right. The dildo cam discovered what appeared to be a blighted ovum. I was 7 weeks and doc. said I was measuring 5 weeks. They took blood and sent me home to rest for the weekend and come back first thing Monday morning for another beta. Quite honestly, I never inquired about my beta levels. We were pg after only 3 months of trying and it felt like a piece of cake so I believe I was blissfully ignorant. I had a mc on my own later that afternoon after the docs discovery of the blighted ovum. I do know that the beta taken first thing Monday am was already under 5. TMI alert, but I definitely passed the empty sac, which is probably why my beta came down so quickly.
My cycles came back fairly quickly. The first one was a bit longer at 35 days, instead of the usual 29.
If you have any questions, please just ask.
I'm so sorry, Joyful! It is devastating, and it's ok to feel all of the mixed emotions you're feeling. Take the time you need to feel all of your feelings and grieve your loss.
I miscarried at 8 weeks (though growth stopped at 6 weeks)--so it took about 2 weeks for me to have any symptoms. I opted for the D&C as I also wanted to get back to TTC right away. AF came exactly 5 weeks post-D&C; we waited 2 cycles before TTC again as per my doctor. My cycle is totally back to normal.
{{{hugs}}}
Thank you, everyone, for your support and caring and hugs. And for your advice and insight.
I am a little bit better today. It's not that I'm not sad, it's just that I can feel my old self in there, too.
Now, I just want this to be over so that we can move past it.
Ironically, I had started spotting the day after I got the great beta results. (it wasn't enough to get the nurse concerned, especially because I was on progesterone). I also spotted yesterday. The spotting seems to have stopped now, but I do feel crampy.
I will talk to the nurses tomorrow about any options that might hasten the process.
Thank you all, again.
I'm so sorry to hear this news! I too think getting pregnant is a good sign. Your body now knows how to do it and will remember:) {{{{HUGGS}}}}
Joy - Im so so sorry honey. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. You and your DH will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Sending hugs. Im really sorry for your loss.
i am sorry you are going through this.
with my m/c at 7 weeks, i had a d&c, beta took 1 month to go down, got AF a month after that, and did an IUI that same month (so 2 mos after d&c
Joyful, I'm very sorry to hear this news. I just wanted to share some words that a good friend said to me when I had a m/c, she said "it's okay to feel however you feel--don't let anyone tell you how to feel."
As for the IUI debate, I can relate. I'm pushing 40, and decided to go for IUI this fall, just to do it, to do something (after 6 months of no success on our own after m/c).
Just wanted to say you're in my thoughts & have my sympathies,
Susan
Joyful,
I was away from my computer this weekend, so I am just now seeing your news. I am so very sorry you have to go through this! It is not fair!
I had a CP, and was only delayed a week getting AF. Course, that is different than a m/c, though. But, like a pp said, I have heard that post-m/c your hormones are up and you are as likely to get pregnant as ever. Please keep concentrating on the fact that you CAN get pregnant and that you have many here thinking and praying for you!
GDF
Oh joyful, I am so sorry. I will certainly say a prayer for you tonight.
Hugs.
Oh, joyful, I'm so so sorry.
I wanted to share with you my experiences - with my d&c, it took about 8 weeks to get the betas down, even though I got a period about 5 weeks post d&c. This time, my betas were at 800 when the m/c started. It took about four days to pass it all. If my draw on Friday is zero, it will have only taken three weeks to get there. Just like every pg, every thing was different.
I will keep you in my thoughts - and offer you a shoulder if you need to cry or talk.
Yes,I'm smiling...I'm a marathoner!
Bloggy McBloggerson
CO Nestie Award Winner-Prettiest Brain-Back to Back!
2011 Bests
5K-22:49 10K-47:38 Half Mary-1:51:50
2012 Race Report
1/1-New Year's 5K-22:11
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3/24-Coulee Chase 5K-21:40
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