2nd Trimester

"Was it planned?"

So while we were TTC I read a few posts about folks asking the poster if the pregnancy was planned...I thought, "Who are these ignorant people with no filters? Do they understand that this isn't any of their business??".

Well, I have now been asked this by FOUR different people...seriously. And just to give you some backround, yes it was planned, we have been married for 2 years and dating for 5 before that, in our thirties, work full time, own a house, etc...I don't get it...Regardless of any of these things, it isn't anyone's business. Has anyone else gotten this question? What is your response?

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Re: "Was it planned?"

  • I tell them " no, I just woke up one day and looked like this"
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  • Yes, I get this question a lot...And my response is, Nope, but we're ecstatic. :D That usually throws people off guard, but not enough that you seem rude.

    And, the question doesn't bother me, but it does come across as extremely nosy.

  • I responded with "Nope, see what happens when you just do it in the middle of the kitchen like on TV"
  •  

    Just no and they'll shut up!

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  • Same here, only got that response from people I work with.  "are you happy?"  Lets see we got married on our 10 year dating anniversary, been married over 2 years, late twenties with a house etc.  Yes were happy!!!  I just think some people are honestly socially retarded.
  • LOL, well, ours was planned, it just happened about a year earlier than expected. 

    I don't get the "was it planned," I get the "did you get married because you were KU?"

    Nope, oddly enough, Honeymoon babies DO exist. If not, why the f**k was I bleeding for 5 days before my wedding day, and worried I'd have a dress mishap? 

    I never know WHAT to say. Comebacks appreciated. TIA (haha). 

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  • We got pregnant 2 months after getting married so we've gotten this question from a few people too.  I've told them yes, which is the truth. 
  • imageBonzer:
    I tell them " no, I just woke up one day and looked like this"

    So awesome. I will totally use that.

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  • Never got this, but then we have been married for 6 years and told everyone we would start thinking about it after 5 years maybe. Took me 6 to decide I was ready. Not sure if I am big enough for strangers to be rude  :-) 
  • I hated this question and almost all of my friends and even my boss asked "was it planned"?  First of all does it matter, either way I am still pregnant and the outcome would not have been different for DH and I even if it were not planned.  Yes we planned our little blessing!  We have been together for 5 years in April and married since May of 2008.  We always knew we wanted children together and so here we are!  Could not be more happy to be expecting our first baby together!
  • imageAerochyck:
    I responded with "Nope, see what happens when you just do it in the middle of the kitchen like on TV"

     

    ROFLMAO..

  • yes all the time and for both pregnancies. Even from my mother. I don't get it, i've never asked that question or even cared to ask it. And for our first we had been married 2 years, 30s, full time careers and own a house.
  • Because we're having our second so close to our first, we get this question a lot. I tell them the truth.

    Yes, we were wanting two kids close in age, but we were debating about when we would TTC again. And then we decided to roll the dice for one week, didn't think we were pg, and then got a big, pleasant surprise and we're very excited about it!

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  • I got pregnant 2 weeks after we got married and it was planned.  I dated DH for 8 years when we married and we are in our 30's - my favorite is when people ask me if i was pregnant at the wedding.  My answer is "put it this way - tampons are $9.00 a pack in aruba - does that answer your question"  that usually makes people just stare at me...
  • apparently pregnancy/conceiving is now a topic that you can say whatever you want.

    I don't get it!

    When people first found out that was always the first thing they asked.

    I wanted to say "well we were having a lot of sex, so it was bound to happen"

    but I just said "yes" and gave them the side eye

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  • A couple people in our own family asked us this. We have been married for almost 3 years, and it was 100% planned, but in their defense we never mentioned to anyone that we were even thinking of TTC so they were probably just a little surprised. I just never felt it was necessary to declare that we were going to start trying.
  • I've never been asked that question with either pregnancy. We were married over two years before we got pregnant the first time, so I think people expected it from us by then. Same thing this time; DD will be over two when this baby's born, so it's not too soon to raise eyebrows.
    Emily 11.29.2007 | Kate 4.3.2010 | James 8.22.2013
  • I was asked this yesterday for the first time by a patient at work. I wanted to karate chop her in the throat, but instead I politely said yes. Stupid!!!

  • No one's asked since I have been pregnant but before we had our first daughter the subject of kids would come up periodically. Especially with people who already had them.

    We would somehow say something like "well we're going to have kids someday, we just don't know when it will be the right time."

     Their response was usually "well are you trying?"

    Which if you really think about it, your friends and relatives are asking "are you having sex?" "when you do have sex is it with protection?"

    I don't think they meant to be so nosy--it's just funny that somehow pregnancy turns normally rude or inappropriate questions into the norm. 

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  • I haven't been asked this outright, but I have been asked "was it easy?"  Ummm, I guess so yeah. 
  • i havent, but i would ask if they were planned.  they may get the hint on how rude they are.
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  • Yes, I got this question from people that had been hounding us to have a baby... go figure!  I told them that we were excited and looking forward to having a baby.
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  • You should ask back to them: "Was what planned? The sex, or the pregnancy?" That should get the hint across that hello, they are asking about your sex life.
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  • imageoutdoorgirl3:

    So while we were TTC I read a few posts about folks asking the poster if the pregnancy was planned...I thought, "Who are these ignorant people with no filters? Do they understand that this isn't any of their business??".

    Well, I have now been asked this by FOUR different people...seriously. And just to give you some backround, yes it was planned, we have been married for 2 years and dating for 5 before that, in our thirties, work full time, own a house, etc...I don't get it...Regardless of any of these things, it isn't anyone's business. Has anyone else gotten this question? What is your response?

    I feel the same as you. It's a personal question and certainly no ones business. If I ever get asked, I will certainly come out the bag w/something sarcastic. At this moment this is what comes to mind, "see what happens when you're fvcking for sport!".LOL

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  • I always ask "does it matter??" I think its so rude when people ask that! Its none of their business! The people that know us well enough know that it was planned....
  • I got that a lot from my family "was it planned?", I told them no so they would leave me alone to a point because they think that we should wait till we are married 5 yrs to have children ummmm. Not getting any younger here and I don't plan to have any kids past 29 and i'm going to space out the 2 by 4yrs so I have time to deal with college savings. Secretly it was planned we had been talking about it since April and here I am now the first time we tried was the lucky charm.
  • Everyone knew DD was planned because we lost 2 prior to her. So it wasn't a surprise when I got pregnant a 3rd time in a year w/ DD.

    This time around though, holy crap. Because they're "irish twins" we have gotten a sh*t storm of ?'s about why we'd do this. I simply say "I got pregnant on the pill, this is clearly how things are supposed to be, we do not need any negativity" and people typically shut up. Then after silence ask what Pill I was taking LOL. (clearly praying it's not the pill they are on)

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  • Eh, most people mean nothing by it. Just answer it and move on.
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