okay so this is a selfish vent because I am SO blessed to have a beautiful son to hold in my arms and cuddle. Please know that I am completely grateful to have him!
When I see people's picture of them headed to the hospital or happy smiling pictures in the delivery room I STILL can't help but have tears well up in my eyes.
I am SO jealous that they are smiling and holding thier babies and had sucessful deliveries.
My water broke at 30 weeks and I didn't know what it was, By the time I got to the hospital (1hour later) DS's feet were out and they did an emergency c-section. When they were wheeling me out of the room I asked if my husband could kiss me goodbye and they said NO. I didn't even know what was happening. They didn't have time for an epidural so they knocked my out. I woke up no longer pregnant with no baby. They wheeled him by in an flight care incubator, I touched his hand and he was gone. I didn't get to see him until 2 days later. (our hospitals were 1 1/2hrs apart) It was horrible. But he was only in the NICU for 5 weeks and he's perfect and beautiful.
My husband and I are going to start trying again after Christmas if everything checks out good at my annual in Nov. I'm scared to get pregnant again, yet at the same time I can't wait for that delivery room experience.
anyway, this started because I was crying over some stupid FB pictures of a beautiful baby...
Re: crazy, random, selfish vent...
That's not selfish. It sounds like you went through something pretty scary. I am sure you didn't expect things to happen that way! Good luck trying for #2
I hope this time around you get to have a happier experience!
I am sorry you didn't have the birth experience you wanted. I also ended up having a c-section, although mine wasn't quite as hurried as yours.
Your son is a cutie!
http://oi62.tinypic.com/2w73hq9.jpg
I totally understand your fear! I'm sort of in the same boat. DS #2 was born by emergency c-section as well, but while it was a scary experience for me, it doesn't compare to what happened to you. I'd be afraid of getting pregnant as well. As a matter of fact, while I am TTC #3 (my sons are bugging me for a little sister...lol!), I am also afraid of having a repeat of what happened with DS #2.
On the bright side, though, since this has happened before, when you do get pregnant again, you can tell the doctor about what happened in your previous pregnancy so that they can take steps to prevent it from happening again.
Good luck!