Community› The Bump Message Boards› Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Babies: 0 - 3 Months
New Discussion

WWYD: Big Decision (long)

Love2TeachLove2Teach
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Okay, so since I lost my job and have been unable to find a new one, DH and I have concluded that we have to move in with one of our sets of parents.  It doesn't really matter which one we end up with, other than if we decide to go to my ILs, DH said that I don't have to go back to work right away.  I'm having a really hard time with this decision because I really can't.stand. my MIL and the thought of living with her makes my skin crawl BUT my DS has 2 serious medical conditions (heart issue and MCADD).  If I go back to work, my mom would have DS.  The only concern with this is that she has the tendency to exaggerate...a LOT.  Like yesterday, she had my DS for an hour and a half while I was at a wake.  I come to pick him up and she starts ranting about how he "spit up soooo much" while I was gone.  After questioning her for like a half an hour, she finally says, "oh, it was probably only about a tablespoon worth of formula he spit."  I don't know if I'd be able to concentrate at work if she were to leave me a message about DS that may or may not be blown waaay out of proportion.

So, I guess my question is, should I tell DH we should go with his parents for the sake of staying home and definitely increase the amount of time we are not in our own home OR go with my parents, get a job, and run the risk of losing it (my sanity and my job) because my mom is a nutcase at times but get back on our feet quicker?

Report Reply to Post

Re: WWYD: Big Decision (long)

  • cminNJcminNJ

    Move in with your mom since it sounds like you get along better with her.

     

    Establish your boundaries with her EARLY

     

    Put DC in daycare

     

    Good luck

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • skyloooskylooo
    That is a tough one.  My first thought is that you should go with your in laws to be with your baby for a while longer.  Sick baby or not, it sounds like he needs you.  Then if after a few months you feel more ready, move again.  Don't know if that helps, just my opinion.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • erinjciancioloerinjcianciolo

    yikes - that is a tough one.  personally, if it meant moving back into your own place sooner by making money and saving it, i would have to go with your mom.  you'll just have to learn how to translate her exaggerations into what they really are.

     good luck! 

    Report Reply
  • AmbeeroseAmbeerose member
    I would say have a talk with your mom about what "major problems" really are that she does need to call you about. DH and I currently live with my parents and I don't work but I couldn't handle leaving DS w/my mother all day if I knew she would have (less than a big deal) reasons to call and bother me at work. I could NOT live w/the IL's so I don't think you want to live miserably all the time!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • mburkhemburkhe member
    I would move in with your mom. You will get back on your feet quicker and you may have to deal with her blowing things out of proportion, but at least you like her! Also, once your mom has your LO everyday, maybe she will exaggerate less or you will be able to pick out the truth of what she says better. GL!
    BabyFruit Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • emathis2emathis2

    I'm confused... Why can you stay home if your at ILs but not at your parents? 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • 2-Step2-Step member
    I personally love both of our parents, but wouldn't want to live with either of them for very long, so getting on your feet would be where I would start. Is there anyway you can have a heart to heart with your mom and let her know when to truly be worried and when things can wait?
    Report Reply
  • sarcole530sarcole530
    imagecminNJ:

    Move in with your mom since it sounds like you get along better with her.

     

    Establish your boundaries with her EARLY

     

    Put DC in daycare

    Exactly.

    Good luck

    Report Reply
  • mommy meganmommy megan
    I would go with your parents. I couldn't live my MIL. Just let your mom know your LO has a Serious condion and it freaks you out if she says something really bad happened that wasn't that bad. Maybe she'll calm down.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Emily and MartinEmily and Martin
    I lived with my ILs for about 9 months when I moved here (before DH and I got married). I liked MIL before, and now she drives me absolutely crazy. If you don't like your MIL to begin with, then I would go with your mom. My mom gets on my nerves, but she is still my mom and I've dealt with her my entire life so I'm used to it and it's easier to deal with your own family rather than ILs, IMO. GL
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • jkipp82jkipp82
    imageemathis2:

    I'm confused... Why can you stay home if your at ILs but not at your parents? 

    this
    Report Reply
  • Love2TeachLove2Teach
    imagejkipp82:

    I'm confused... Why can you stay home if your at ILs but not at your parents? 

    Because if we live with MY parents, DH is going to be much more uncomfortable.  He says the only reason to go to them instead of his is so my mom can watch DS while I work.  Plus, my dad can be a real a-hole and would be on my case 24/7 as to why I don't have a job yet.  His parents, would care less about my working situation.

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"