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XP: Need help eliminating night feeding/waking

LSRLSR
in Breastfeeding

DS was a great sleeper (asleep by 8 pm wake up around 5am to eat and back to sleep until 7ish) until about 8 months. Around 8 months he started waking due to teething, learning to crawl etc. The only way I could calm him down and get him back to sleep was to BF him. He would eat and go back to sleep. Well I have obviously created a monster that when he wakes he expects the boob.

What initially was easiest for me has now turned into my nightmare. I am only getting 3-4 hour stretches of sleep b/c he will wake somwhere btwn 12-2 am and then (maybe) around 4/5 am. The last 2 night he has woken up around 4 am and just chatters to himself (loudly I might add). Last night I didn't go in his room and eventually he went back to sleep. The problem is the earlier waking. My DH was trying to calm him and get him back to sleep around 1 am and he just wasn't having it until I went in there, fed him and he went back to sleep.

I NEED to wean him from this and I'm not sure how. I can't BF forever and we need our sleep. It is killing me. Any advice? If I have to (as a last resort) do CIO, I will. But I prefer to try other things first.

thanks.

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Re: XP: Need help eliminating night feeding/waking

  • caeliesmomcaeliesmom member
    My sil gave her son a bottle of water in the middle of the night around this age to elimiate the feeding and said that worked for her. 
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  • mrsmoultonmrsmoulton member
    Experts say that some babies up to a year old may truly wake up hungry in the middle of the night, so first you should be sure that's not the case with your baby. It doesn't really matter what he used to do - at this age he's growing and changing from day to day, and his needs are changing, too. Maybe he's having a growth spurt. Maybe he's increasingly active and needs more calories. Maybe he's so busy during the day that he's not eating enough, and is compensating with a night feeding. It seems to me to be a valid need for milk, since he is sometimes willing to put himself back to sleep without it - when he insists on milk, maybe he really is hungry. You can first try increasing his intake of both milk and solids during the day. If that doesn't work, try sending dad in for comfort. If that doesn't work, I think you need to just ride this out, because otherwise you will be making a hungry baby cry until he believes nobody cares if he's okay, and he gives up on you. I know that sounds harsh, but that's what cry-it-out is. Please try for your baby's sake to be patient. Parenting isn't a job that stops at night, and for what it's worth, most breastfed babies wake for night feedings. If you only have to get up once a night, that's a lot better than some people's situations.
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  • LSRLSR

    imagemrsmoulton:
    Experts say that some babies up to a year old may truly wake up hungry in the middle of the night, so first you should be sure that's not the case with your baby. It doesn't really matter what he used to do - at this age he's growing and changing from day to day, and his needs are changing, too. Maybe he's having a growth spurt. Maybe he's increasingly active and needs more calories. Maybe he's so busy during the day that he's not eating enough, and is compensating with a night feeding. It seems to me to be a valid need for milk, since he is sometimes willing to put himself back to sleep without it - when he insists on milk, maybe he really is hungry. You can first try increasing his intake of both milk and solids during the day. If that doesn't work, try sending dad in for comfort. If that doesn't work, I think you need to just ride this out, because otherwise you will be making a hungry baby cry until he believes nobody cares if he's okay, and he gives up on you. I know that sounds harsh, but that's what cry-it-out is. Please try for your baby's sake to be patient. Parenting isn't a job that stops at night, and for what it's worth, most breastfed babies wake for night feedings. If you only have to get up once a night, that's a lot better than some people's situations.

     

    I agree with you. This has been going on for 2 months.I assume he is hungry and that is why I get up with him. But I am not getting enough sleep and I don't think he is well rested from waking at night. Last night he must have  been awake from 4:20-4:50 am just talking to himself.

    DH tries to calm him down but he wants nothing to do with him. Once a night wouldn't be bad, it's the 2x a night that is killing me. I know it could be worse.....

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  • MrsAmersMrsAmers

    At that age, I sent DH in to try to put DD back to sleep.  If he couldn't do it within 10-15 minutes, I went in and nursed her.  It sucked, but it was what she needed at the time.  Once I tried to avoid nursing her and she cried on and off for 90 minutes in my arms.  I decided that I valued broken sleep more than no sleep and she would give up the overnight feedings when she was ready.

    In our case (and probably yours to since he was a good sleeper before 8 months), DD would get woken up by something - teeth, learning to stand, developmental changes, etc.  And once she was awake she wanted to nurse.  Period.  Once her brain and teeth stopped waking her up, she didn't wake up just to eat.  

    I KNOW that you are exhausted and frustrated and you just want to sleep (I'm doing this all over again with my 5 month old...), but trust me that it will get better and he won't wake to BF forever.  In our case, I would bring DD to bed so I could get back to sleep as quickly as possible.  This works for some people and not others.

    My favorite posts about the 9 month regression and sleep:

    https://www.askmoxie.org/2008/03/talk-about-the.html

    https://www.askmoxie.org/2006/02/qa_9montholds_s.html

    https://www.askmoxie.org/2006/02/qa_what_are_sle.html

    Heather Margaret --- Feb '07 and Todd Eldon --- April '09
    image
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