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The SAH Survival Guide: Chapter 9 Discussion [late]

mandymackmandymack member
in Stay at Home Moms

Hi everyone!

For those interested in joining us for our weekly, chapter discussion, get yourself a copy of The Stay at Home Survival Guide by Melissa Stanton, read up to Chapter 9 and join us this week, in this discussion, or read up through Chapter 10 and join us in next week's discussion!  

EVERYONE is welcome, we'd love to hear your thoughts, questions, and relateable personal experiences.

Please use the "quote" function when replying to questions from others so everyone can see who and what you are replying to for less confusion and easier discussion.  :)

 

Chapter 9 Discussion Questions:

Chapter 9 focuses on the baby experts in our lives: our Pediatrician's, other Mom friends, authors of books we read... all those "they" people we constantly refer to when trying to explain why we do certain things as parents and discusses how sometimes, we have to just listen to our gut instincts when dealing with certain situations AND to remember that we, the mothers, really do know best!

1. What recommendations did you NOT follow because it just didn't work for your child and/or yourself?

2. Who are the "experts" in your life that you trust, take advice from or simply just appreciate their input?

3. What do you do or allow your child to do that others, including the so-called "experts" might not approve of?!?!?

4. Do you consider yourself more like the Alpha moms or the Beta moms or maybe some combination of the two?

5. Any comments about this chapter?

 

eclaire 9.10.06  diggy 6.2.11

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Re: The SAH Survival Guide: Chapter 9 Discussion [late]

  • mandymackmandymack member

    1. What recommendations did you NOT follow because it just didn't work for your child and/or yourself?

    I was an anxious, self-doubting new mom so, I followed just about anything I was told was "the right thing" to do including, putting Emily to sleep on her back, not giving her honey and peanut butter before 1 year, keeping her rear-facing until she was 1 year AND 20lbs, etc., etc.  

    2. Who are the "experts" in your life that you trust, take advice from or simply just appreciate their input?

    My mom #1.  I also really adore our Pediatrician, who was also a Neonatologist and has 5 kids of his own; all the women in my very close Mom's Group; and the two friends who have children 2 years older than mine.

    3. What do you do or allow your child to do that others, including the so-called "experts" might not approve of?!?!?

    At 3 years old, Emily is still not potty-trained and she still uses a pacifier... I don't care what other people think, it still works for her.  :)  I also let Emily watch PBS and a few programs on Sprout nearly every day and I let her have M&Ms as a reward when she's exhibited excellent behavior.

    4. Do you consider yourself more like the Alpha moms or the Beta moms or maybe some combination of the two?

    I had no clue there was such a thing but I guess I'm more of an Alpha mom by nature because I'm very structured, organized and a perfectionist at heart.  

    5. Any comments about this chapter?

    I think the idea of "mommy" wars is about as dumb as it gets... what would moms have to go to war about?!?!?  Who cares what other people do and why is there so much judgment and put-downs?  I refuse to add fuel to any fire surrounding this crap... I don't have time and I wish authors would stop speculating about it as well.

    eclaire 9.10.06  diggy 6.2.11

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  • susanmosleysusanmosley member

    imageTobeMrs.Shavers:
     

    1. What recommendations did you NOT follow because it just didn't work for your child and/or yourself?

    Following a strict schedule.  Once I surrendered and decided to go with the flow, mothering/SAHMing became such a wonderful job instead of stressful.

    My pedi recommended an earlier bedtime.  We never took that advice and have a great schedule now where everyone is happy. 

    2. Who are the "experts" in your life that you trust, take advice from or simply just appreciate their input?

    My mom!!! and dad. and sister. Obviously, my DH is number 1, but as mentioned, I assume that is obvious.  I like our pediatrician on a personal level - like I would like to be friends with him - but I am not feeling all of his recommendations on a parenting level.  I guess I appreciate my in-laws input to an extent.  I would say that is about it!

    3. What do you do or allow your child to do that others, including the so-called "experts" might not approve of?!?!?

    hmmm.... 

    4. Do you consider yourself more like the Alpha moms or the Beta moms or maybe some combination of the two?

    I need to brush up on the terminology and who is who - been a while since I read it.  Oops.  

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  • aspadeaspade member

    I'm just going to go general on this one.

    My biggest issue has been the first pedi we chose.  I admit that I had no idea what kind of parent I was going to be ahead of time (who does?), so when I chose the pedi, I was a snob and based my decision on her awesome degrees.  Well, immediately I was leaving my appointments feeling like crap.  I couldn't really put my finger on it, but I did say to DH that I didn't think she was doing much to make us feel confident in our parenting skills.  He agreed with me.  My big example is that she was critical of DD's slow weight gain, at the same time that she wanted me to put her on a feeding schedule as a newborn (she's EBF)--um, no!

    It took me a while (probably about 6 weeks) to realize that I was emerging as an attachment parent.  So when we went to the pedi's office for an emergency appointment, I asked the other doctor point blank, "Which of the practice's doctors is most supportive of attachment parenting?"  She said, "Me!"  And that was that.  We switched docs immediately.  And I think the whole experience made me feel like the expert as opposed to that original pedi, in terms of what is best for my child.

    A lot of this chapter felt repetitious with earlier stuff in the book, though.  It seems like one of the big messages of the book is "you're okay, and whatever you need to do to survive SAH, you do it!"  It's not one of the better chapters, IMO.

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  • Princess_ArielPrincess_Ariel member

    1. Just about anything my grandmother tells me Stick out tongue I love her, and she did a great job raising me (if I do say so), but sometimes I just want to yell at her that she has no idea what she's talking about and harps on about the strangest things.

    2. I love my pediatrician - I always feel as though she gives me an A+ as well as DD.  Some of the nurses I could do w/o.  I never admitted to co-sleeping, but she's on board with just about everything else I do, so she probably wouldn't care & might even go on about how wonderful it is, but I don't want to push my luck.  I'm also really into the Dr. Sears books - they're my baby bibles, and my closest mommy friends are on board, so life's good.

    3. Quiz: BF'd first year of life (& still going); she watches TV, & usually more than 2 hours on the weekends; drank from open cup by 12mos; sippy cup filled with milk, juice, & green tea (on occasssion, but never soda tho she does drink ours) as well as water b/t meals, but she's not sippy cup dependent; still rear-facing & will be for as long as possible. 3 out of 3, guess I fail.

    4. Some combination of the two - it really depends on what's going on.  Bday party was nothing but a match-fest, right down to the multiple themed poems I wrote.  Remembering to put fresh supplies in the diaper bag, however, is 50-50.

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