Just once I'd like to see... — The Bump
Working Moms

Just once I'd like to see...

A thread where we are praising ourselves and each other as working moms or discussing something that is working mom related without someone from the SAHM board coming over to preach about how we are insulting them.

It's getting old and very tiresome.  It's not like we comment on each and every "I CHOOSE to stay home with my child so I don't miss anything and because it's more important for me to be home raising him/her instead of working" post that we see over on the SAHM board.  You know... because those posts aren't chock full of insinuation. 

Every time I see one of those posts I want to comment and tell them how lovely it is that they get to make that choice. Not.everyone.does.  So they can take their "choices" and shove them where the sun doesn't shine. 

So don't come on this board accusing WM's of slinging insults unless your board is crystal clean.

 

Re: Just once I'd like to see...

  • Amen! I get sick of the WM vs SAHM debate. I personally love work. I also love my child, I honestly have the best of both worlds. I CHOOSE to work just as much as many SAHM's CHOOSE to SAH. I'd go nuts if I was in the house with DS and H allllll daaaaaay loooooong.
    Mimi to May Babies: William Gabriel Martin '07, Morgan Ana Terese '10
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  • Well, they do stay out of Target after 5 pm so that you can shop w/o crowds ya know.  WinkTongue Tied

    But, I agree.  There is a HUGE double standard going on.  And I think most of the time the point is missed that we are ALL doing what is best for OUR families.  What works for one, may not work for another.

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  • I don't read the SAHM Board.  I have no idea what is talked about there.

    I'm not sure why a lot of regulars on that board hang out here.

  • image tosababy:

    I don't read the SAHM Board.  I have no idea what is talked about there.

    I'm not sure why a lot of regulars on that board hang out here.

     

    My guess is that they're looking to justify their decision by belittling us low class working moms.

    Mimi to May Babies: William Gabriel Martin '07, Morgan Ana Terese '10
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  • I only pop in over there to see some good coupon deals or when some of them wander over here to insult us.
  • But I also don't like the "Not everyone does have a choice" comments because that implies that WM HAVE to work.  SAH isn't a lovely or preferred choice for everyone.

    In fact, for a lot of WM, it isn't even some conscious decision to work vs. SAH that we had to agonize over. It is simply part of our lives and we are happy.

    This whole idea of some big choice we have is pretty sexist given that men don't seem to face this stereotypical big decision.

  • image AlisaS:

    But I also don't like the "Not everyone does have a choice" comments because that implies that WM HAVE to work.  SAH isn't a lovely or preferred choice for everyone.

    In fact, for a lot of WM, it isn't even some conscious decision to work vs. SAH that we had to agonize over. It is simply part of our lives and we are happy.

    This whole idea of some big choice we have is pretty sexist given that men don't seem to face this stereotypical big decision.

     

    Excatly. Actually DH is a WAHD! The "big choice" for us was a literal no brainer. DH has a great career, and can do it while taking care of the spawn he created. And why the hell shouldn't he? I did the work alone for 9 months LOL.

    Mimi to May Babies: William Gabriel Martin '07, Morgan Ana Terese '10
    [IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/1z5lzrs.jpg[/IMG]
    [IMG]http://sedf.lilyslim.com/Npc2m8.png?4FFbS3Lm[/IMG]
  • I agree, I'm sick of the attacks against us on this board.  I'm a Mom, I work, I like to work, I love my daughter.  It's simple.  I lurk on the SAHM board every once in a while, but I don't post there!  I'm not a SAHM. Kthanksbye.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • image AlisaS:

    But I also don't like the "Not everyone does have a choice" comments because that implies that WM HAVE to work.  SAH isn't a lovely or preferred choice for everyone.

    In fact, for a lot of WM, it isn't even some conscious decision to work vs. SAH that we had to agonize over. It is simply part of our lives and we are happy.

    This whole idea of some big choice we have is pretty sexist given that men don't seem to face this stereotypical big decision.

    I agree.  I know a couple of moms who stay home because *that* was the decision that was best for their family and their finances, not necessarily their first choice as a person.

    Sometimes it is about choice and sometimes it isn't.  But either way, we should all support each other.  We are all women, we are all moms and we are ALL doing the best thing for our families.

    Heather Margaret --- Feb '07 and Todd Eldon --- April '09
    image
  • i don't read the SAHM board. but i think the SAH v WM debate is simply a distraction for women to not focus on more serious issues.

    This blog post says it all for me:

    http://www.offsprung.com/profiles/blogs/victims-of-the-mommy-wars

    Let's STOP fighting over some so inane.  And let's start wondering why:

    Estimates of non-fatal domestic violence against women range from 1 million to 4 million a year with nearly 1 in 3 women experiencing a physical assault from a partner in adulthood (Domestic Violence Statistics, District of Columbia Coalition Against Domestic Violence at www.dccadv.org). Women have a 10 times greater likelihood of being victimized by an intimate than men (ibid.). Also, 33% of all women murdered are murdered by an intimate partner. In fact the leading cause of death among pregnant women is not complications from pregnancy, but murder.(Kim Curtis, "Murder: The leading cause of death for pregnant women." Associated Press April 23, 2003) A woman?s life expectancy in the United States is 80 years, as compared to 85 in Japan, 73 in Saudi Arabia, 63 in India, 53 in Haiti, and 47 in Ethiopia (Population Reference Bureau, 2004 World Population Data Sheet, accessed on November 2, 2004, cited in Our Bodies Ourselves Health Resource Center). In the United States, there are 11 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births. In Austria, there are 4 maternal deaths; in Denmark, there are 5; in Mexico, there are 83; and in Haiti, there are 680 (Maternal Mortality in 2000, estimates developed  by WHO, UNICEF, and UNFPA, accessed on November 5, 2004). Women working 41 to 44 hours per week earn 84.6% of what men working similar hours earn; women working more than 60 hours per week earn only 78.3% of what men in the same time category earn (Bureau of Labor Statistics, cited in Hilary M. Lips, "The Gender Wage Gap: Debunking the Rationalizations"). Furthermore, women may work longer to receive the promotions that provide access to higher pay. For example, among school principals, women have an average of 3 years longer as teachers than men do (National Center for Education Statistics, cited in the same). Pay inequality figures are even worse for women of color. African American women earn only 72 cents and Latinas 60 cents for every dollar that men earn (AFL-CIO, "It's Time for Working Women to Earn Equal Pay"). Women typically face challenges breaking into male-dominated fields. However, they still dominate traditionally female professions, such as the following:
    Industry Growth for Women's Occupations (1997-2006)
    Occupation Percent
    Secretaries & Administrative Assistants 96.7
    Child Care Workers 94.6
    Hairdressers, Stylists, Cosmetologists 92.9
    Registered Nurses 91.7
    Teacher Assistants 91.5
    Medical Assistants & Other Healthcare Support 90.6
    Auditing Clerks 90.3
    Maids & Housekeeping Services 89.2
    Home Health Aides 88.3
    Elementary & Middle School Teachers 80.9
    Office Clerks, General 85.3
    Cashiers 75.6
    Supervisors, Office Managers & Admin Support 73.4
    Customers Service Representatives 68.5
    Accountants & Auditors 61.8

    (Department of Labor, cited in Lahle Wolfe, "Job Fields Business Women Dominate") The largest percentage of employed Asian and white women (47% and 39%, respectively) worked in management, professional, and related occupations. For both black and Hispanic women, it was sales and office occupations--33% (Department of Labor, Women's Bureau, Quick Stats 2007). In jobs that are predominantly occupied by women such as cashiers or child care workers, women make about 95% of men?s wages (DoL, cited in Karen Harper, "Sexism in the Media").
  • What a great blog article!
  • momofolivia, I love your post! 
  • great response, MOO!  

     

    As a mom who's done both... you get crap either way.  drop it, enjoy your life, and don't answer to anyone for your choice to work or not.  life's too short to worry about some petty opinion.  

    I am soooo sick of these debates...  sooo sick of the insinuating comments from both sides.  

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