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advice please?
How do you discipline an 18mo boy? He knows he's doing things he's not supposed to - and I know he's doing them to gain my attention when I'm busy with baby or trying to work. I'm trying to spend more one-on-one time with him, but how do I teach him that things like a. emptying the recycling or garbage out on the floor; b. opening the fridge and strupping it of its contents; or c. playing with the computer; are not allowed?
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Re: advice please?
Some ppl think they don't work, but I know time outs have been effective w/ the little boy I watch- sometimes he needs the time by himself to gather himself/calm down and just chill out. His mom will ask him if he is ready to come out of time out and sometimes he says no.
When my DD throws things off her highchair repeatedly (like spoons and bowls AT THE DOGS) I will put her in timeout, after I tell her to stop- if she does it again, she has to go and be by herself.
I used to do the distraction/change what we are doing, but that gets tough @ around 18 mos old.
I get online updates from BabyCenter and they are helpful. For this behavior, they suggest having the child "help" clean up the mess. Happy Toddler on the Block suggests explaining very simply what child was feeling and what they did wrong: "You wanted that toy", then "No hitting, no hitting." or whatever fits the situation...
We have simple locks from Home Depot on our oven and fridge. Haven't used the fridge lock yet, but will when necessary. AND yes, I get that we need to teach our children NOT to do these things. BUT I would rather do that when my child can talk a bit and "gets" a few more concepts. I would hate to have her burn her hand on the oven door because she's pulled it down while the oven is on OR break glass when pulling stuff out of the fridge... Unfortunately, we have an open floor plan with no realisitc way to block off the kitchen with a simple baby gate.
I was going to suggest time outs too. I think Dr. Sears says to introduce them by 18 months so they get used to the idea.
For now, I give DD a warning and tell her that if throws/drops x again, then it will get taken away, or if she's doing something we don't want her to do then we remove her from the situation. Depending on how your house is laid out, that may be difficult. Could you set up a timeout corner though, that he has to sit in when he disobeys a warning like that.
GL!
I'm trying timeouts. We're on the third one since I posted this. (for dragging things out of the fridge and dumping a bottle of expensive dessert wine all over the floor). He's at such a tough age - he understands everything I say, but doesn't speak back very well. For the first two times, he just played in his room and it didn't really bother him. This time, he's a little more upset. Maybe that means it's working...
Also, I've heard/seen on TV/read that the room timeout may not work since they get to just play in there...maybe setting up a corner or area where there are no rewards would work faster. I'm sure in the beginning it takes a lot of timeouts to get used to the idea, either way.
Have you tried doing signing with him to help a little? It's never too late!
This is how my DD is- but if she WANTS something she can let me know, so I know she understands me.
We do timeout in the crib- which I know some ppl frown upon, but a corner/chair would not work for us. She would just get up and go.
11 months