Need advice on something - long
So I've been babysitting my cousin's LO (he's 10w younger than DD) for about 3 months and I've hated it since about day 2. He drives me absolutely crazy. He whines and cries over the smallest things, wants to be held constantly (and whines in my lap, too) and is taking up so much of my time that I feel like all I do is gripe at DD to leave him alone (he whines when she gets in his face) and I don't have time for her. I don't have time for me, I don't have time for the house, and I'm losing sleep.
She doesn't pay me much. When I agreed to the price, she was broken up with her BF and I told her the amt she offered was fine. I'm doing this to help her, not to supplement my income. Well, she's back with him and they make and spend more than DH and I, which irritates me. She's also pg again and wants me to watch the new one too. I told her that's out of the question. Her BF has the nerve to whine to me about having to come pick his kid up (he's out of work an hour before she is). Um, hello. Your whiny ass child drove me crazy for 10 hours today for $10/day and you're complaining to ME!?
Anyway, sorry this got so long. How do I break up with her? What can I say without telling her that her son is a whinebag and drives me nuts? And what's a reasonable time? I don't want to tell her she needs to find him a new sitter tomorrow, but I can't do this months more, I just can't. I get anxious just thinking about him coming over in the morning. It's to the point where trying to help her is causing big issues for me and I just can't do it.
Re: Need advice on something - long
Tell her you need more time for you and your LO. That you need to focus on your family. Who is going to say, "Um no, you can't focus on your family because it's about what is convenient to me!" If she does say that, then she is really messed up. If you want, you can tell her you will miss watching your LO but your family needs you right now and this is what's best (even though you will be really glad to see him go, if you say it this way she won't know that).
I would give her maybe 3 or 4 weeks though, because she is family. If she wasn't then just 2 weeks.
Ditto this. I'd tell her that you and your DH talked about it, and you were glad you could help her out, but you need to focus on your daughter now (esp. now that she's back with her BF).
With the way you're feeling about it, it's best for someone else to watch him anyway (not that you have to tell her that).
Good luck!
I agree with telling her your family needs you right now/comes first and give her a few weeks to find new childcare.
You should not have to deal with anxiety of helping someone out by watching her child. You have your own family to take care of and like you said, watching her LO is taking time away from your DD as well.
GL!!
Ugh i was wondering how things were going with you. That really stinks- you definitely need to address this ASAP. I would just sit down with her and say that you need to focus on your family now.
no need to get into specifics why. you shouldn't have to explain yourself. I would just give her some notice and tell her to line up alternative care.
let us know when you get some freedom back. hang in there.
I watch my 4mo niece one day a week but I charge $30 and I thought I was giving my sister a deal!
If I broke off my current gig I would allow one month notice, and I would not say ANYTHING about her kid. Make it about you and your house/family. I just tried to write a practice sentence here as a way to start the conversation rolling but I deleted it because it sounded lame. You have the relationship with your cousin so you probably know best how to initiate it, in a loving manner, even though inside you just want to end it.
This is what you say:
"Hi [cousin]. You know how much I love little Johnny, but I'm having trouble juggling him, my DD, and the housework. I'm feeling stressed, so it's time for a change. I'll keep him for six weeks, which should be long enough for you to find someone else."
Prepare for her to be pissed. She will moan, groan, and complain to everyone and you will look like the bad guy. This is because no good deed goes unpunished. But it will all blow over and be forgotten eventually.
People only take advantage of you if you let them. Time to stand up for yourself. Good luck!
Thanks everyone. I really feel bad that I can't handle a one year old. He's very high maintenance - DD was when she was younger, but OMG. He's almost 15 months old. I had to hold him for naps for the first month and if his bottle ran dry he'd be screaming and never nap. He's not being mistreated or anything, and it's not that I don't love him, but I'm just losing it here.
A friend of mine works for the state aid dept and she told me that cousin could get daycare assistance making it almost as cheap as me, so it won't kill her.
Give her two weeks notice (which is 12 days longer than I got when my "professional" licensed daycare center closed down).
Tell her you assumed this was a temporary thing when she was broken up, and you were happy to help her out then, but not that they are back together and expanding their family, they need to find long-term childcare.
This makes me smile.