S/O to 'Honey-Do List' post below...
What do you do if your DH just will not help?
Since I brought baby #2 home, DH has been really helpful with DD, but the house is in shambles, and I am nursing around the clock so just can't get to everything. A messy house really stresses me out, so I'd like to keep up with housework as much as possible, but he's making messes faster than I can keep up with them.
Example: Yesterday, DH had to go into work in the morning, so I got both girls and myself, up, fed, dressed and out the door by nine, including cleaning up our breakfast and general kitchen mess. When DH got home at noon, he kindly asked how he could help, and I told him to just pick up whatever messes he makes, and clean out DD's lunchbox, and I was going to take a nap. Fast-forward to 5 pm, kitchen a mess from his lunch, lunchbox sitting where I left it. So I cleaned it all up again on my short break from nursing DD2.
He has good intentions but refuses (forgets?) to follow through. If I 'remind' him, I'm nagging. What to do? Suck it up and live with a mess of his making? Tell me I'm not alone!! 
Re: S/O to 'Honey-Do List' post below...
That sounds really frustrating, and I know what you mean about a messy house being stressful.
Often times I've heard people advise just leaving the mess until he notices it and cleans it up. I've tried that before, but seeing it every time I walk by makes me more irritated than simply cleaning it up in the first place would have. Plus, when after a week I finally mentioned it to him, DH confessed he hadn't even noticed it.
I know that at least for us, a lot of the time I have to ask him over and over. It makes me feel like I'm nagging, but DH always re-assures me that I'm not, and that he really does forget and needs the reminder. So, when you say that you're "nagging" is that what he says or what you feel like?
from what i am learning- and this is new territory for me too- is that DH needs CLEAR AND CONCISE simple directions. A. B. and C. done by x hour.
i swear- sometimes i feel like he is a child- i try not to make it feel demeaning. honestly- personally i don't care what it takes as long as it gets done.
DH- please clean the counters with this spray, empty the dishwasher, and take the trash out. Thanks- i am going to take a nap. I will be down at x o'clock.
good intentions my DH has too- and you hit it on the nail- i feel like i am nagging too. totally not alone.
if you find something that works for you- PLEASE share with me.
Congrats on your new little one.
remember at the end of the day- a mess is still a mess. you have a one week old. don't take on too much.
Have you tried making him a list of things that need to be done?
My DH is like Stacy's. I need to spell things out in detail. But once I do, he's happy to do whatever I ask.
This exactly.
Sometimes I get so frustrated because he'll do something like go to the kitchen to get a beer but not take in the dirty plates sitting rigth in front of him. It's like part of his brain doesn't grasp the concept of multi-tasking and can't make the leap, 'Hmm.. I'm getting up ANYWAY to get a beer, might as well clear the table at the same time to save myself a trip later.'
I'm convinced men are 'single-task' people. Do one thing at a time.
The thing about DH is that he TRIES to do more, but his brain just isn't wired like mine. I figure after 20 years of living together he'll get the hang of it, but until then, I need to treat him like a child. "Babe, today I need to you a) take the dogs out at 9 a.m. b) wash the dishes in the sink before lunch c) pick up your dirty clothes before I do laundry at 2 p.m." (I need to give times because otherwise it'll be 10 p.m. and nothing will be done and he'll look at me like, 'well you didn't say WHEN you wanted all that done") And when he's done he's all proud that he completed the stuff on the list.
Frustrating? Yes. Effective? Yes.
Eleanor Noelle - 18/05/12 Claire Elisabeth - 16/-5/10