A year ago yesterday :( thoughts and prayers needed — The Bump
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A year ago yesterday :( thoughts and prayers needed

i was at work and got the worst phonecall of my life.  my 14 month old nephew J had not woken up and was not breathing.  he had died in his sleep sometime during the night.

his death is unexplained.  the coroners report says SUEDC, sudden unexplained death in a child.  he was not sick. he had no health problems. he was to old for SIDS.

i just came home from spending the last 2 days with my sister.  it breaks my heart to see her go through this and our whole family.  our lives will never be the same again.  i do have to say her church and friends and extended family have been awesome all year with helping out and reaching out; giving her hugs, crying with her on the phone, sending dinner over anonymously...

we spent a quiet day at the beach on monday, with her 4 yr old daughter, it was a beautiful sunny warm day in southern calif.  yesterday we went to the cemetery so that she could go and i had not seen the headstone yet.

i have one more day before i have to go back to work.  i think i'm going to curl up in a ball and spend the whole day in bed.

so please send your thoughts and prayers my sisters way.  she needs all she can get.

enjoying the sunshine
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Re: A year ago yesterday :( thoughts and prayers needed

  • T&P to your sister and your entire family...very tough...
  • Dear rsrn...  I will definitely be keeping your sister, her family, and you in my thoughts and prayers.  Reading your post hits so close to home with me and I can say that I do know how you may be feeling. 

    I do not have a sister, but one of my dearest and closest friends (who is 100% like a sister to me) lost her infant baby girl to SIDS last October 23rd.    She too had no health problems or risk factors...  The months that followed the baby's passing were some of the most difficult months of my life.  Watching my dear friend suffer so much affects me deeply to this day in ways that I cannot even put into words.  September 15th would have been her baby's first birthday and it also broke my heart to see my friend, her husband, and her family/friends going through this.  I don't think there is anything more life-changing and devastating than losing a baby.  I will be praying for you and your sister today and in the days to come.  I hope you can find some peace in your heart, however small it may be...

     

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  • I remember you mentioning that before. Simply heartbreaking.

    I bet she was so absolutely delighted to have your support yesterday, it takes strength to be that person.

    I spent the better part of 6 months at the NICU with one of my best friends, her 12 month old son got better, moved to a regular ward and died suddenly 24 hours before he was to be discharged. I was there when he died, and did part of the ulogy at the funeral. It was never clear what happened either, his death seemed unrelated to his previous illness. Closure is tough, but I think unexplained is harder still.

    I just share that to let you know that if you need support/want to talk about it all, please feel free to send me a PM/email me. Sometimes the supporter needs support too :)

  • I second Cathy's sentiment that if you need support or need to talk, you can PM me also.  I whole-heartedly agree that sometimes the supporter needs support too, sometimes more than we may realize.

    And Cathy, I am very sorry about the loss of your friend's son.  You are an amazing friend for being there for your best friend like you were.  My heart goes out to you also.

  • GBW...sorry to hear that story as well :(
  • just heartbreaking.

    Your whole family is in my thoughts & prayers.

  • All of you who have lost a loved one so young are in my thoughts and prayers.  I just can't imagine how you would move on after a tragedy like that.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker TTC #1 Cycle #18 m/c Jan. 9, 2007, chemical pg May 4, 2007, methotrexate shot Oct. 5, 2007--m/c Oct. 9, 2007, IUI Nov. 17, 2007 It worked! beta 11/30 & 12/6 TTC #2 Cycle #5 IUI July 20, 2009 -BFN 8-3-09 Cycle #6 IUI August 17, 2009-BFP! 8-31-09, beta 9-1-09, 9-8-09, saw the H/B 9-22-09 EDD 5-10-10
  • My heart goes out to you and everyone else who lost someone so young that they cared about.  It's heartbreaking and to have no answer just compounds the heartbreak.  Life is just so unfair sometimes and I think you all have so much strength - you're in my thoughts and prayers.
    3 IUI's and 2 IVF's later- Brady arrived. Born at 36 weeks after PUPPS and pre-e/HELLP.
    IUI- BFN IVF #1 -BFP! Allie is our 2nd IVF baby. Born at 36 1/2 weeks after pre-e again
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  • T&P for your family!!  Take care of yourself today and best wishes for an easy day at work when you go back.
  • That is heartbreaking.   I can not fathom the pain.  Prayers will be said for you and your family.

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  • I'm so sorry to hear about your nephew. Hugs to you and your family.
     
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  • T&Ps to your family and especially your sister.  It's one of my biggest fears. 
    image
  • Totally heartbreaking....I can't imagine.   My thoughts and prayers are with your whole family during this one year anniversary.  I can only hope that time will help heal the raw emotions you all must be feeling.
  • Oh hon, Im so sorry.  I just cant even get my mind around that.  I will pray for your sister and for you too. 
    Im so sorry that you lost your nephew - so heartbreaking.
  • imageGBW:

    Dear rsrn...  I will definitely be keeping your sister, her family, and you in my thoughts and prayers.  Reading your post hits so close to home with me and I can say that I do know how you may be feeling. 

    I do not have a sister, but one of my dearest and closest friends (who is 100% like a sister to me) lost her infant baby girl to SIDS last October 23rd.    She too had no health problems or risk factors...  The months that followed the baby's passing were some of the most difficult months of my life.  Watching my dear friend suffer so much affects me deeply to this day in ways that I cannot even put into words.  September 15th would have been her baby's first birthday and it also broke my heart to see my friend, her husband, and her family/friends going through this.  I don't think there is anything more life-changing and devastating than losing a baby.  I will be praying for you and your sister today and in the days to come.  I hope you can find some peace in your heart, however small it may be...

     

    thank you for sharing GBW.  i'm sorry to hear about your friends child.  the birthday was hard for us as well. his was august 28th. he would've been 2yrs old. it was a hard day

    my thoughts and prayers go to you and your friends and their family.

    enjoying the sunshine
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  • imageCathyMD:

    I remember you mentioning that before. Simply heartbreaking.

    I bet she was so absolutely delighted to have your support yesterday, it takes strength to be that person.

    I spent the better part of 6 months at the NICU with one of my best friends, her 12 month old son got better, moved to a regular ward and died suddenly 24 hours before he was to be discharged. I was there when he died, and did part of the ulogy at the funeral. It was never clear what happened either, his death seemed unrelated to his previous illness. Closure is tough, but I think unexplained is harder still.

    I just share that to let you know that if you need support/want to talk about it all, please feel free to send me a PM/email me. Sometimes the supporter needs support too :)

    i'm sorry for your friend and for you as well. it is hard to watch a baby in the NICU. sudden deaths are devastating and my thoughts and prayers go out to your friends  and you.  that is just awful what happened. 

    also thank you for the offer of support. its true the caregivers need care as well.

    enjoying the sunshine
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  • oh my goodness ladies. thank you so much for sharing your stories and your words of comfort.

    this board is a truly an awesome place. i am in tears over your responses.  i feel truly blessed to have found this board and you ladies.

    you guys rock.

    enjoying the sunshine
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  • That is very sad for your sister and whole family.  What a tremendous loss that has no explanation.  T&P...
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