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NBR: Weird Work Issue

adorsey2000adorsey2000
in Pregnant after a Loss

So I know this is not at all pregnancy related but I need advice and love you gals - so I am hoping you can help.

I started at a new agency the first of Sept (I work at a non profit).  Everyone in my office is great but I have this weird feeling about one of the Senior Managers.  At first he stopped in my office to ask a question about an upcoming event (totally fine as it is my job to put them on).  But the past week and a half he is stopping in my office just to chat at least once sometimes twice a day.  And he stays for like 20 min a time.  I basically have to turn to my computer or answer a phone call to get him to leave.  At first, I thought he was just being friendly trying to get to know me, welcome me, etc.  Now it's kind of weird.  He has nothing to do with my department in any way and he comes in and talks about personal stuff (we both used to live in Chicago, talks about his kid, sports, sometimes about being single at his age, etc).  Of course, I have always been friendly and ask questions - what else I am supposed to do?  He obviously knows I am married and that's why we moved to NC.  Well today, he stopped by twice for almost 30 min each time and then sent me an email that said "BTW You look nice today.  You should wear heels more often."

Am I the only one that thinks this is weird?  What do I say or do?  He is senior management but I don't report to him in any way??  I have no idea if I am overreacting or what. But I don't want other people to wonder what is going on - my boss sits across the hall from me and sees him in my office constantly.

 

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Re: NBR: Weird Work Issue

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    PurpleK26PurpleK26 member

    It's a little odd. Is he like that with anyone else? Until the heels comment, I'd say maybe he's just friendly and feels connected to you since you have some common background: chicago etc.

    If you don't want to let your boss get the wrong idea, you could just casually say something to your boss like "does he stop and talk to everyone this much?" in a slightly annoyed voice.  I'd save the e-mails and write down any other 'over the line' comments he makes with dates. It's not a big deal now, but if it were to get ugly later on, you'll want proof that you're not encouraging it.

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    lovesinthehouselovesinthehouse
    Yeah, the heels comment put him over the edge for me. Do you have an HR dept. you can talk to? Is your boss cool? Can you talk to him/her? I think you need to nip this in the bud.
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    adorsey2000adorsey2000
    That's what did it for me too.  We have an HR Dept but being so new I don't really know how efficient they are.  My boss is great and is considered a peer of this guy (they are both sr. mgt.)  However, I am not sure how close they are.  I don't want to look like the new girl starting trouble - I know sounds awful but you know what I mean.  From what I have seen, he doesn't seem to do this one with anyone else in the office - if he did there would be no way he could ever get any work done?!  
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    MrsPattersonMrsPatterson member
    At first, he sounded a lot like my boss who is just lacks self-awareness to an incredible degree and doesn't read verbal clues that you are not interested in a conversation.  But the heels comment in the email is over the line.  It sounds like he sent that email specifically to compliment you on your looks, and that's inappropriate.  I would start documenting comments like this (save the email and any future emails) and if they continue along these lines or escalate, I'd say something to your boss.  I'm a big believer in going with your gut - your intuition is telling you something is up, so pay attention to that.
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    smileychic10986smileychic10986
    I think the heels comment and saying how you looked today was completely out of line for him to write to you.  At least you have it in e-mail though, so that you can use it as proof if needed.  I would go to the HR department if he keeps up that behavior.  It is not work professional at all.  Maybe next time he comes in to chat with you, you could say you have work that really needs to get done, a deadline to meet, or something like that.  Maybe he''ll get the hint if you do it a couple times that you have no interest in him, or talking with him about personal life.
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