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Pregnant after a Loss
PurpleK26
member
I need to stop talking to a girlfriend
PurpleK26
member
I love her to death, but she is driving me crazy! She keeps telling me to keep her updated on my pregnancy, so I do. She lives far away, so it's all via e-mail. She JUST became a Doula, so she considers herself an expert on every pregnancy. In her opinion, anyone who delivers in a hospital or with an OB is insane and depriving themselves of a 'true' birth experience. She believes that Dr.'s consider it their job to rescue the baby from the mother's body etc.
EVERY single time I tell her anything, or any of my concerns, she goes off on me about how horrible hospitals and anyone involved in a hospital are.
Any time I talk to her about a decision I've made, she tells me I need to educate myself to better know what I'm deciding. She's informed me that if I don't know my dr.s c-section rate, that I have done my research, and that any hospital who's c-section rate is over 15% is too controlling over their patients and just wants to push people through.
She thinks I'm insane and not doing the 'best for my baby' by not having a Doula, even though I've told her many times that DH just doesn't feel comfortable with the idea. I told her that it would be ok, and that women have been delivering without Doula's since the beginning of time! Her response? Well, hospitals have become so much more controlling that doula's weren't needed until recently.
She just constantly says that she's glad that I'm defending my choice to deliver at a hospital, but she says it in words that I take to mean "well, you're choice is the wrong one, but..." Never considering that for me, her choice would be the wrong one, but she doesn't feel the need to defend that!
Ugh!!!
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Re: I need to stop talking to a girlfriend
She sounds like a horrible doula, actually!
We just interviewed and hired a doula, and their main job is really to be labor support for mom and dad. That means helping them to have the kind of birth they want to have, whatever that is. It does not mean getting on a soapbox and telling people how to have their babies.
Ibis~ my thoughts exactly!
This girl has always been a 'her way or the wrong way' kind of person. She's also the friend who came for a supportive visit shortly after my m/c, and thought it would be a great idea to go to the motherhood store at a mall and give me her advice about the nursing bras and other mommy items I'd need some day... really?
that's the thing, she thinks she is on the side of the mother by telling the mother exactly how they should be delivering their baby! She wasn't happy with the birth of her first child and informed me that the dr's could have killed her daughter by breaking her water. This of course is how they found meconium in the fluid, and she refused a c/s because she didn't want a scare. The dr.s were concerned about the babies safety, so tried to speed up her delivery. 3 DAYS later, she delivered. SHE could have killed her baby by letting her go that long with meconium present!!!
OMG! I think I would defriend this person for a while too.
And this is why I WANT to be in a hospital!!! If it goes on THAT long, give me some freaking drugs!!! That can't be good for mom OR baby!!