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Any Birthmothers on Here?

silver2983silver2983
in Adoption

Are there any birthmothers who have gone on to have children later? I gave up a daughter 10yrs ago and now I have a 3 month old girl.

 The adoption didn't go very well and the couple I gave her to gave her up after about a year and a half because she "cried too much" (their words).

Having my new little girl alternately feels so healing and then intensifies the feelings of guilt for giving her to people who didn't love her. Are there any other birthparents out there who have had children later? Did it change your outlook on your adoption?

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Re: Any Birthmothers on Here?

  • Dragonfly_BrideDragonfly_Bride member
    Sorry to butt in on your post, as I'm not a birthmom (but we do have birthmoms on this forum, thankfully)... but I?just?want to say that I can not believe what I'm reading! I'm so sorry you had to go through such a traumatic experience with your child's former adoptive?parents. That is just unacceptable. I'm seething! Do you have an open relationship with her new parents??
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  • -Stephanie--Stephanie-

    There are a few birthmom's on the board. We love them! :)

    I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry that your experience was a hurtful one. Big hugs to you!!

    Congratulations on your newest little one. 

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  • hersheykisshersheykiss

    I am a birthmother. I completed an adoption plan 8 years ago and now have a 7 month old. My outlook hasn't really changed, I have always appreciated it. My stepdad adopted me as a little girl, so I have always thought it was a good thing. I can look back and say that adoption was the right thing for me at the time, and I have no regrets about what I did. My husband and I plan to have another child in a couple of years. Unfortunately I am open to adopting a child, but my husband does not have the same experience that I have and is not as open about it.

    I am sorry you had a bad experience.

    There are several other BMs here. Feel free to stay on this board, the ladies here love to hear from "the other side."

     

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  • MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member
    I don't have anything for you, but wow, I am really sorry about your daughter being placed for adoption afterward. How awful! Did you know about it at the time? Are you still in contact with her? Congrats on your baby, I imagine all the things you are feeling are normal, even though hard.
    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • silver2983silver2983
    The first adoption was an open one. I got pics and letters for a little while and then they stopped after 6 months. She was a year and a half old when I found out about the second adoption. I was given the contact info for the new family and they said that they would write every Christmas, but I only heard from them for two years and then they stopped writing and I'm pretty sure they moved.
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  • Dragonfly_BrideDragonfly_Bride member

    imagesilver2983:
    The first adoption was an open one. I got pics and letters for a little while and then they stopped after 6 months. She was a year and a half old when I found out about the second adoption. I was given the contact info for the new family and they said that they would write every Christmas, but I only heard from them for two years and then they stopped writing and I'm pretty sure they moved.

    Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry it didn't work out the way it should have. Both sets of APs are really giving open adoption a bad name, which makes me so sad.?

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  • julandjojulandjo member
    imageDragonfly_Bride:

    imagesilver2983:
    The first adoption was an open one. I got pics and letters for a little while and then they stopped after 6 months. She was a year and a half old when I found out about the second adoption. I was given the contact info for the new family and they said that they would write every Christmas, but I only heard from them for two years and then they stopped writing and I'm pretty sure they moved.

    Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry it didn't work out the way it should have. Both sets of APs are really giving open adoption a bad name, which makes me so sad. 

    Ditto this.  I'm so sorry to hear of your experience.  We're glad to have you here on the board.

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