Long WWYD... — The Bump
High-Risk Pregnancy

Long WWYD...

My ob has said that she will induce between 10/28-11/10.  My husband will have to go out to sea during that time (he is Navy.)  As of now they have not approved his leave.  It is a short 2 week underway, but the timing of it overlaps with not only the induction times but the time his parents will be here.  I am completely stressed about being alone with his parents and a newborn for that long, but know that is something I have to deal with.  What I am having a hard time dealing with is that my husband may not be here for the birth. 

If my ob induces at the begining of when she said she would, my husband would be here.  I haven't talked to my ob about it yet but I really would rather not induce at the begining of the time frame unless I am having problems.  So far my PIH has been controlled well with meds and the lovenox is working well.  

My husband is the only person I want in the room with me when the baby is born.  I am terrified to have to do this without him being here.  I am really torn on what to do.  I would never be able to forgive myself if I asked to be induced at the very begning when my husband is home and the baby had breathing problems or something.  My other thought is to ask if everything continues to go well and stay controlled if we can wait until he comes home, as it will only be a few days after when she said she would induce, but still before my edd. This option scares me too. 

What would you ladies do?  Obviously I will talk to my ob about it and do whatever she suggests.  If  we decided to wait to induce til he got home if something happened while he was gone I would obviously deliver then.  I don't want to do anything to put my baby at risk and feel so selfish for even worrying about this but I am really scared and I don't want to tell my husband how scared I am because he is upset about possibly missing the birth of his child and I don't want to make him feel worse.  I realize this is the life we signed up for but it is still frustrating.  Thanks for your suggestions.  We had thought that this underway was cancelled but just found out that it was not. 

Re: Long WWYD...

  • If your ticker is right, you will be just about 38 weeks on 10/28, right?  I know it is best to wait for LO to come on his/her own or for an induction to happen at 40+, but in your case, with PIH and a husband who is going out to sea, I can understand asking to be induced that soon.
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  • Talk to your doctor. You might be ready earlier and you have good reasons for possibly wanting to go sooner.
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  • I would want to wait and have the baby once DH is back. Obviously this is not 100% in your control, and you would run the risk of having the baby while he is away - but I think it would be so hard to have a baby, then watch him leave and have his parents there to "deal" with. I think I would take my chances and try to wait until he gets back.

    I would talk to you dr now and tell her your wishes. If all is well with your PIH, there is no reason she should not accomodate you. I would also stress to her the importance of this and tell her you are willing to do any and all measures to insure you can get to the date you are shooting for (ie, bed rest or even hospital bed rest).

    I would also think very seriously about a plan B. There is the option that your hubby could be gone and you have a baby. I know there is no one you want in there with you - but I think going through it on your own, would be difficult to say the least. Can you identify one friend or family member, even maybe hire a duola that you are comfortable with?  Make sure your hubby is on board with your plan B. Iron out ever detail of the plan, video taping etc, so in the event he misses it, he can still feel a part of it after the fact.

    Don't get me wrong, having your baby with out your hubby would SUCK. But I honestly think watching your husband leave you and your newborn, with all the hormones and anexity of having a newborn would be the most difficult thing for you.

    I do not envy your position and I am so sorry you are in this situation. Obviously this is just my opinion and this is a tough decision for you to make.... I would spell it out very clearly to your docs and start praying like crazy that you can hold out until the date that is best for you!!!

    Best of luck!

  • I disagree with the PP. I would induce before DH leaves, if you really would be 38 weeks. Having DH be your support person through delivery is what you need. Plus this is the experience he wants.

    Dealing with PP hormones and the ILs is the pits. I did this and it wasn't pretty.

  • Sorry, my ticker is off by a few days I will be 37 weeks on 10/28.  My husband is going to try to convince his parents to change their plane tickets but I am not sure they will.  Thank you guys for the input and for not making me feel like I am being selfish in this.  I am also really worried about PPD as I have had some major depression issues in the past.  I have a lot to talk to my ob about. 

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