I am now 31 weeks, and I have officially started to freak out. This is about the time that I started to show signs of pre-e with DS #1. It progressed into severe pre-e and HELLP and DS was delivered at 35 weeks. After a fantastic ultrasound at 29 weeks, I've had a rough 2 weeks. I've been sick as a dog with a head cold and my BPs have been all over the place. My house is a wreck (DH is trying, but he's a man--enough said) and I feel like I'm not spending any "quality" play time with DS (who is 19 months old today) because I just don't have the energy. On a lighter note, my MFM assures me that I'm ok for right now, that any pre-e signs I may be showing are mild and that my goal should still be to make 37 weeks. He did say, however, that he thinks I'll probably have to be delivered at some time because the pre-e will come back....it's just sort of a question of "when."
So now, I just feel like I'm now living on borrowed time. I am terrified and feel like at any moment, things are going to head south and I'm going to end up with another crazy birthing experience and NICU baby. If one more person tells me "not to worry" and that it's "all going to be okay," I'm going to kick their butt! They're not my son's mother, my husband's wife, and they just don't get it.
Anyways, thanks for listening to me complain. You ladies are a great source of encouragement and support and I appreciate all the kind words.
Re: need to vent to someone who understands!!!
I know what you mean about the "You'll be fine" motto when inside your FREAKING. This is Preg#1 for my husband and I, we miscarried at 8 weeks in July 2007 due to trauma. SO pregnancy has already had me slightly frazzled. End of July this year my BP started shooting up and they tested me for Pre-E and it all came back negative - for the 24hr I was 196/300 for Protein so I was good to go. At this time is when I started panic mode, my husband is a Marine and was in training for 2.5 months so I was home alone with 2 doogs not able to do much of anything. Since then my BP leveled off with watching my sodium intake but last week its like it all came back with a vengeance. My BP shot up, I've had migraines and my 24 hr is now 288/300 so I too am in that gray area. I cry quite a bit now feeling like I'm failing my job as a mom since I can't even carry my baby for the 9 months and they're already talking inductions at 35 weeks saying 38 would be a miracle. Top it all off - my husband is in the field training again with a phone on his hip waiting for the 911 call which will still take him like 3 hours to get to me. I start weekly NST's tomorrow which I've never done and have no clue how that works but it sucks! and I honetly think teh borrowed time/gray area makes it worse cause I feel like I'm walking on eggshells to keep this baby cooking as long as possible.
What I will say - and its what Ive been telling myself is what is meant to happen will, and God will only deal you out what he knows your capable of handling. You and your family are in my prayers!
I can only imagine feeling everything described, plus more, even/ when I ever reach your point. I, too, am a "when", not "if" when it comes to pre-e. I told DH as soon as I found out I was pregnant that I feel like a ticking time bomb.
I hope your head cold goes away soon- I'm sure that just magnifies everything