baby shower for second?

busymomma · September 2009

Hi all! I just joined and I need some advice...I'm pregnant with my second child. My little girl just turned 2 and this time around we're having a boy. My Mom wants to throw us a baby shower, but I don't know if it's appropriate for the second child seeing as we already had one for the first, and have most of what we need. Is it ok since this baby will be a boy? Can't decide what to do....thanks in advance for any advice Smile

RoxyLynn · September 2009

Even though it's your mother's idea, it would still reflect poorly on you to have a shower. Thank her and see if she'd host a no-gifts celebratory tea or luncheon instead; it's just not appropriate to have a shower when you're already a Mom, even if there are different fathers and fifteen years between babies.

ToesnthesandBride07 · September 2009

I have been to showers for second children. I personally am not bothered by it but I know it is pretty taboo. I think the idea the PP has is great. Also, people will still bring you gifts.

rohansmom · September 2009

I say go for it.she offered let her.If your guest don't want to give gift thats ok. life is too short enjoy

ladyalmalthea · September 2009

I agree with letting her throw a 'sprinkle' for a few close people.

Since you have most of what you need, they can have fun getting you little boy clothes- that way you can avoid what happened to my little brother- stuck at home in pink overalls!

EastCoastBride · September 2009

Big picture- I don't agree w showers for 2nd babies. However, I'm not as hardlined about it as others. I do feel there are exceptions. A boy, though, only 2 years after your first is not one. You WILL get clothes wo a shower - trust me. However,again, I agree w hocus. Have a sprinkle where your absolute closest friends are invited. This is not an "invite everyone we know" situation.

mmitche0 · September 2009

I don't think it's that serious.In some circles it's ok. I'm having a shower for this one,and it's going to be very big. I have several people asking if they can host a shower. I think as long as someone is offering to host it for you it shouldn't be a prob. Also,if people don't want to come they won't. I bet if you have a shower just about everyone that you invite will show up. It's up to you. I say do it,and have a good time!!!

wrenr · September 2009

I don't see any problem at all in having a shower for a second, but it might be because where I live everyone has second, third, even fourth baby showers. I think each baby should be welcomed because each one is special. If you feel weird about people spending money register for things that aren't expensive.

I actually wonder how different parts of the country seem so different in their opinions about this. I live in South Florida, and here no one thinks twice about having multiple showers, they look at you funny if you don't. Not to mention they charge people to go to showers (which I still find odd, but to each his own). A while back I attended a shower that I had to pay for and bring a gift for and it was for a fourth boy. So don't fret and just take your mom up on her offer and enjoy yourself. Celebrate your baby boy

RandiDeeAnn · September 2009

I think etiquette in this situation depends on your area. One of the previous posts said something about it reflecting poorly on you, but that is probably in a certain area. Nothing at all against the previous poster. Where I live, though, every baby gets a shower, it doesn't matter. I had never even heard of this being distasteful until recently and I have been going to showers for years.

tnd1218 · September 2009

RandiDeeAnn:
I think etiquette in this situation depends on your area. One of the previous posts said something about it reflecting poorly on you, but that is probably in a certain area. Nothing at all against the previous poster. Where I live, though, every baby gets a shower, it doesn't matter. I had never even heard of this being distasteful until recently and I have been going to showers for years.

this exactly!

mybabyloveonline · September 2009

if someone wants to throw it for you and you think people would come, do it! i, personally think it's fine, but others are judgmental and don't always hold back their comments. you could just have a small gathering of close friends and family.

hopefulmom · September 2009

How about if she (your mom) helps host a "meet the baby party" once the little guy has arrived. I'm sure you have tons of newborn stuff he can wear until then (like once he's 3-4 weeks old). Since you have everything and it's only two years old it really isn't necessary to have a shower. Pus, for second showers people have a tendancy to get you just clothes anyway, especially if it is a different sex...but people will want to see the baby.

Second showers are not the norm where I live.

I'm very interested in hearing more about the showers in Florida (I'll have to ask my SIL about that). To have 2, 3, 4 and more showers AND have to PAY to go to them...as the pp said. Crazy! lol

liza0828 · September 2009

Showers are not about welcoming a new baby. Of course every baby should be welcomed! The point of a shower, though, is to provide materially for new parents-to-be. That's why many people, myself included, think showers for second babies are

.

qtjess1110 · September 2009

My mom is gonna throw me a sprinkle for my second. My first is a boy who is 4 he was a summer baby. This baby is winter and its like 4 years later. I am just having like 20 people in her house. My first shower was a big hoopla so this is just a get together before baby is born.

ValentineBB · September 2009

I'll be honest, I think showers for second babies are tacky. If your family wants to buy you some gender specific stuff I think that's fine, but a big shower just doesn't seem appropriate to me.

TheFutureMrsBeck · September 2009

Go for it. I dont think it's taboo, tacky, or reflects poorly on anyone. Yes, a shower is given in order to provide material items for the parents-to-be but come on people....it isnt 1953 anymore! Showers are also a way for friends and family to get together and celebrate the new baby that's on the way and enjoy each others company. Why all the negative responses? I think a shower should be given for every child since they are all equally important. Sure, you dont need to register for as many items and you probably dont need many of the large items but you can still have a shower! Just register for the items you need this time around. You (as well as all mothers) deserve a celebration in their honor with cake, food, friends, and family for every child, whether it be 2 or 12!

wareto · September 2009

hopefulmom:

How about if she (your mom) helps host a "meet the baby party" once the little guy has arrived. I'm sure you have tons of newborn stuff he can wear until then (like once he's 3-4 weeks old). Since you have everything and it's only two years old it really isn't necessary to have a shower. Pus, for second showers people have a tendancy to get you just clothes anyway, especially if it is a different sex...but people will want to see the baby.

Second showers are not the norm where I live.

I'm very interested in hearing more about the showers in Florida (I'll have to ask my SIL about that). To have 2, 3, 4 and more showers AND have to PAY to go to them...as the pp said. Crazy! lol

These are my thoughts too. We're going to have a meet the baby party because I'm not 100% comfortable with the idea of having another shower, but I don't think it's tacky either.

sju · September 2009

wrenr:

I actually wonder how different parts of the country seem so different in their opinions about this. I live in South Florida, and here no one thinks twice about having multiple showers, they look at you funny if you don't. Not to mention they charge people to go to showers (which I still find odd, but to each his own). A while back I attended a shower that I had to pay for and bring a gift for and it was for a fourth boy. So don't fret and just take your mom up on her offer and enjoy yourself. Celebrate your baby boy

It definitely depends on the area and friends/family. I live in north FL and have family in Orlando and the showers I go to are normal parties without having to pay. I did get an invitation once for a co-ed shower (friends) at an Olive Garden so in that case we did have to pay for our lunch and then give a gift. That same couple had a shower for a second baby (which I don't mind as long as it is a small gathering) and the father called me to ask for the name of some ladies they had met at a party to invite them. Sooooo tacky. If you don't know their first names, you don't invite them to ANY shower.

To the OP. A friend and I hosted a surprise sprinkle and it turned out nice. It was a small gathering of very close friends and family. There were 10 of us including the mom.

I wouldn't register, though. Most people will give you clothes or diapers, which is what you really need, I imagine.

MWilliams11 · September 2009

I am pregnant with our second, (and last child) a little boy. Our daughter will be almost 2 when we welcome him to the world. My husband and I have become very close with another couple in the last year and we have even chose them as our daughter's God parents. After we found out we were pregnant with our son our friend offered to throw me a baby shower. I wasn't sure I wanted to accept her offer but after discussing it for a few months with my husband and a few other people I decided to let her.

Why not!?!

Honestly it has nothing to do with gifts, it's about celebrating the arrival of baby with new friends. I would much rather have the shower before the baby comes simply because we will be including our daughter in the festivities and making her feel special in her new role as a big sister. I also know I will have more energy and tolerance to deal with this day before baby arrives. I say go for it, if someone dissaproves then let them stay home alone while everyone else celebrates your new arrival!

sjp · September 2009

mine will be almost five years apart --DS first time and a girl this time--we had a sprinkle with about 25 people--intimate and a lot of fun!

diva741 · September 2009

I am all for showers for second babies...it's all up to you and you know your social circle better than we do. I have had three showers, two of those being suprise showers from work and school ( guess they are all tacky...lol). I guess it was because a) my first was born almost 6 years ago and is a girl b) because none of these people knew me when I was pregnant with DD so this was like I was pregnant for the first time to them. Like I stated before if it is accepted in your social circle and it wouldn't be considered tacky the I say you should accept the offer.

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