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This is hard for me to ask: Postpartum Depression
I'm not going to go into a lot of detail because i will just start crying uncontrollably again. But i think I might be starting to suffer from PPD. Has anyone else dealt with this? What treatment did you receive? I'm going to the OB tomorrow to be evaluated for retained placenta and possible thyroid problem, and I am asking about PPD as well, but wanted to know others' experiences. I am just afraid that i will have to take drugs and not BF, and we are already having a hard enough time BFing...which is part of the reason I'm so depressed... Anyway just looking for some insight I guess.
I know a lot of you are already thinking good thoughts for me and I appreciate it more than i can say. Please continue!! It helps to know I've got you all in my corner.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: This is hard for me to ask: Postpartum Depression
I was on a low dose of Wellbutrin during part of my pregnancy and during the postpartum period. I was able to BF without problems, and the medication really helped even out my hormones. We were dealing with a lot of stuff with my dad at the same time too, so the medication really helped me cope without feeling like I was falling apart at the seams every day.
I am on a low dose of Zoloft now, and I will continue to take it until my hormones get back to normal after the birth. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a low dose anti-depressant or anti-anxiety med if it helps you.
Meredith, 6-1-06 and Alex, 11-5-09
Aw, CJ, I'm so sorry you are having such a rough go of it. I think just allowing yourself to feel like it is both okay and understandable that you are having such a hard time will help to some extent. I totally agree with pp--you have to take care of you to be able to take care of Annabelle. I know there are many medications you can take to help with hormones that are safe to use while bf'ing.
GL sweetie--I'll be thinking about you!!
I commend you for having the courage to ask for help out loud. Too often we are afraid to admit that being a new mom hasn't been "blissful". It was really hard for me and my husband.
BFing is hard for everyone for the first few weeks. My husband and both sat and cried with the lactaiton consultant in the begining. If it came to taking medication, there are several that are compatible with BFing.
You are doing the right thing by talking to your OB. Ask who she might suggest as a doctor who specializes in women/mothers, for follow-up. Talking about your feeling is a huge help too.
There is a free PPD support group that meets on Thursdays. It is facilitated by a psychologist, Kelly Boyd, who specializes in reproductive and post-partum issues. I have really enjoyed the support that I get from these ladies.
https://www.familyconnectionsonline.org/FamilyConnections/fc/pa_pnp_postpartumsupt.html?id=2&subid=23&uid=31
If you want more info or if you want to talk my email is
taryne at eudoramail dot com
I, obviously, don't have any advice about PPD. But, I would agree with other posts. It's important to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your daughter.
Also, I'm a firm believer in the thought that you have to let things take their own course. Even if it's different from your "plan". Don't stress over things you can't really control. Unfortunately, I've seen it happen to so many people. Let life take its course and know that even if you can't continue to BF you're doing the best you can! And you always have Annabelle's best interest at heart.
**All the dust in the world for you**
Oh sweetie, I'm hating that you're feeling like this. I'm so glad that you'll be talking to the doctor about it. Let me know if you need anything, especially since the IL's will be going back soon. I'm here for you!
Lots of hugs!
Our Family Blog
I won't pretend to know what YOU are going through, but I will say this-
With Jack, I also labored and then had a c/s. It wreaked havoc on my hormones. Then, my discharge nurse went and told me that "baby blues" lasted around 3-7 days and that anything past that is PPD. 3-7 days was an absolute joke. I think that (for me) the c/s after laboring almost played a trick on my body and the hormones didn't regulate as fast as they normally would.
I just went back through emails that I was sending to naclh20taffy and it took me about a month for my body to get it together. With Tommy, I was at a gtg after a week. With Jack (the c/s delivery) I was laughing (and crying) about the idea of a gtg after nearly three weeks. There was NO way I was going to leave the house in the state I was in.
Point being, yes, your dr. about ppd, but also know that your body might be holding on to those hormones a bit longer than most. It gets better. It really does.
If you want to talk about anything or have any questions about anything, just shoot me a line. mcurban at gmail- Emailing taffy was SO helpful after Jack was born. She really helped me realize that everything I was feeling was valid and normal and that I wasn't losing it.
It is great that you are reaching out instead of hiding your true emotions. I think you'll feel much better tomorrow after talking with the OB and getting some help. Being a new mom is TOUGH and very few ever talk about how hard it is, so when it isn't "blissful" you think there's something wrong with you - there's not! There are plenty of things you can take while continuing to BF, so don't beat yourself up about that either. You have options and help is out there. Hugs to you, your DH (because he undoubtledy has his own issues/insecurities about being a new dad and not being able to make you, his wife, feel any better either), and that sweet little Annabelle!
I had lots of thoughts of just leaving - skipping town, leaving DH and the new baby, being mad at everything even though I couldn't pinpoint why I was even mad or sad. I didn't know that those feelings of abandonment were signs of possible PPD until someone mentioned it here. It really helped to know that I wasn't the only one. I'd never heard of that reaction before.
At 2 weeks pp I was still a sobby mess. I cried about everything and nothing.
If you're just crying all the time, I would say that's still pretty normal. If it's more than that, I don't think that's normal. I'm glad you're talking with your doc about it, they should be able to help.
BFing is so hard in the beginning. SO hard. If you're doing everything you can, you're still doing a fabulous job. Hang in there! It will get easier!
Being a new Mommy is TOUGH...especially when BFing isn't going as "naturally" as they always tell you it will be. I remember being a huge mess, and looking back...I am fairly sure I had a touch of PPD (I've talked about this a little before). I think it's HUGE to reach out and talk to people. Even if your doc says it's just baby blues....still reach out and talk. I think it helps keep you sane.
For me, it lasted a long time. I would say almost 3 months ... about the same amount of time as DD had colic.
I wish I could help on the meds question...but I have no idea. What I do know is that it is MUCH better for a child to have a mommy on meds and be formula fed than have a mommy with PPD that is fighting to survive each day.
Hugs to you!!!! Keep talking. I think that helped me the most. And, after I had DD, whenever someone asked, "so what's it like having children" I always respond with "It's not all sunshine and roses." I get sick of hearing people talk about the "bliss" of things all the time. I don't think it's like that for a lot of us, and it's good for people to hear that as well.
And...if this helps at all: there are brighter days ahead. I promise. I seriously questioned our decision to have children after DD was first born. But you know what ... I now hate being away from her for more than a couple of hours. She and my DH are my life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. And believe me...there was a time at the beginning where I probably wouldn't have said that.
I have not had PPD, but I was worried that I might. After talking to the midwife, we were able to discern that I didn't have it. But, I am glad I talked to her about it. She told me that I could take medication and still BF.
What does your DH think? Have you gone through the signs of PPD together and talked about them? A friend of mine realized she had PPD because her husband had observed the symptoms in her and sat down and talked with her about it. She was so glad to have someone on the "outside" to help her figure it out and encourage her to go to the doctor.
I'll be thinking of you! I also had major breastfeeding issues, and over time, I've come to a good place emotionally with all of it. Feel free to e-mail me if you want to "talk." mrsjec@gmail.com
I had it with both my girls but I was not medicated for either. I like to think there is a mental post partum depression and a seriously hormonal PPD. For me neither started early--it was a few months into it.
I have not read all but some of the pp and you are getting great advice. I think just talk it out with a good friend and find other moms in your place. It is amazing how just hearing that your entire world that you think is one big old pile of messy {insert gave adjective} is actually normal. That was key for me. For dd#1 I attended a support group facilitated by a therapist and the group was aimed at new moms only. Not just new moms with PPD. For dd#2 I knew what was coming down the road so I just got into therapy early. I know with dd#1 it was dealing with disappointment and missed expectations and really mourning the lost of my previous life. I was such a career focused woman and all my friends were more or less that way and I was the only one married and the only one having kids so I woke up with a new baby, no career, no mommy friends and all my expectations were shot. I was not prepared for how hard breastfeeding was. I just thought it would work and when it did not and I had to see an LC and spend more money on herbs than I would have formula--I blamed myself. A
Anyway--this is not about me but is about you. I just was throwing out some emotions I know that I had and I bottled them up for 9 months and then one day someone just validated all my emotions and suddenly I felt this huge weight come off my chest. So, find someone to chat with who is independent of you and get the wheels in motion for your support group. That is key. If you feel that you need a little hormonal crutch to get you through there are plenty of low dose meds that you can take that will not cause any breastfeeding issues.
Ditto to everything that prior posters have written.
There are definitely meds that are safer for breastfeeding (like Zoloft). You may also want to talk to someone. Therapy plus medication is generally more effective than either treatment on its own.
Hang in there! You are a strong person and you can get through this.
Thank you all so much. DH and I have talked about it and we just think it's best if we discuss it with the doc/MW and find out what's next or if this is normal. I'm glad I reached out, and I'm glad to know I am not the only one that's felt like this.
It's unfortunate that motherhood is often portrayed as "sunshine and roses"as lilrunner said. I really thought were going to have an easy, blissful time. I just didn't want it to be like this.
I had a lot of problems with BF and eventually had to give up. I went through such an emotional period because of my struggle and even afterwards. I still get a little sad when I see moms BFing and know that I wasn't able to do that with my baby. It was the one thing I had my heart set on. I had a good talk with my OB and didn't take medication, but did go through a lot. I would say do what you need to do and know that it's normal and you are not alone. I am thinking of you!
This! BFing was really hard for me with Abby. I was an absolute mess for those first few weeks and eat myself up over it constantly. I would break out crying over anything. Everything was just so much harder than I ever imagined.
Anyway, I am glad you are talking about it. I think talking to your OB is a good idea. But just know if it is just a case of you crying all the time and being a complete wreck you are totally normal.
I don't really have any advice other than I'm sure you will feel much better about everything once you talk to your OB/MW. I'm sure they will be able to answer many of your questions.
Sorry you are having a tough time, but like you and I think lilirunner said, its too bad motherhood is always portrayed to be so easy - when from the sounds of everyone's posts its really tough - at least in the end the concensus is it was all worth it
. Lots of good thoughts and prayers coming your way!
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home D
Admittedly, I actually still have PPD. It's nothing I've ever brought up here before because it has never been mentioned - and I didn't want to out myself while it seemed like everyone else was "normal". Actually - I've only talked to DH about it and my mom. It's not something that I like to advertise - so this is a big deal for me to post it here. I'm still getting treated for it by talk therapy and meds (I'm on Wellbuterin). For me, it started about 5 months PP. Right about the time I stopped breastfeeding. Yeah, that seems like a long time ago seeing that DD is now 17 months old. But i was OK for a while and then it came back. It is not fun. It is a terrible feeling. And quite honestly, something my therapist told me, it is something that needs to be treated - often times it doesn't just go away. I'm feeling a LOT better - and I may even look into Mavetoo's recommendation of the free group therapy.
So - please talk to your doctor about it. Don't think that it will just go away or that you will just snap out of it. Depression is best treated at the first signs. You may find that you still have a case of the baby blues. But better to find out now than to be like me who is still battling it a year and a half later.
If you want to talk about it - feel free to email me.
I had some baby blues from our BF issues. Gracie was not getting enough to eat and she was on the boob for an hour every other hour and when she was not on the boob, she was crying. I had several breakdowns in the pedis office becasue she was loosing weight and not gaining. I felt hopeless and exhausted.
This went on for 3 weeks until we finally caved into supplementing and the feeding issues went away. Gracie was full and more happy and so was mommy. As time went on, things got better and better. That was just my experience, but things are different for everyone. Good luck!
First of all, hugs to you! I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time.
Second, at this point I think it is totally normal to be emotional and sad. Those PP hormones are no joke. I'm normally a very laid back person, but I cried every day, multiple times a day, for the first three weeks. And I think I could have written the same post as lyndamf:
Third, I think it's great that you're talking about it. I'm glad you're going to talk to your midwife/OB - they should be able to help distinguish between the "baby blues" and true PPD. One of my best friends had PPD after her first child, and medication helped her tremendously. I'll also say that things were so much better for her with her second baby, so know that it doesn't always have to feel this way. I'm posting a couple of link to her blog that I think you'd like to read (about what she learned and how things were better the second time), and it contains a link to her thoughts on her first bout and how she was able to figure out she had true PPD and not just the blues.
https://crawfordhouse.blogspot.com/2008/10/how-im-doing-mentally.html
Keep us updated - you're in my T&P.
Coming in late, here... Just wanted to reinforce that being a new parent with a newborn AND breastfeeding can be super hard. I cried A LOT the first couple of months, felt crazy at times and overall couldn't believe that nobody ever told me how hard it really was. I looked at other people and couldn't believe they actually had MULTIPLE children after all that.
It's great you are talking about how you feel. You are definitely not alone. I agree with the PPs that a happy mama will make a happier baby. The good news is that it will get better... and since you're being proactive, it will get better SOON. Take care, friend! (hugs)
i feel ya on this one!!! those postpartum hormones are no joke, and added to the pressures of being a new mom, they're almost unbearable. i never wanted to hurt myself or aubrey so i didn't do meds, but i was soooooo sad and felt like such a failure.
have you met with cheryl (the best lactation consultant ever) yet? she really helped me feel like i could do this, you know? i definitely recommend seeing her if you haven't already. and hang in there because it gets sooo much better. i think i started to feel like normal at about 5 or 6 weeks? i remember it was after christmas and aubrey was born november 26.
((HUGS)) for you!!!
I just want to point out something here -- PPD isn't defined soley by wanting to hurt yourself or your baby. I never had any of those thoughts. So - just because you may not be having those thoughts does not mean you don't have PPD and don't need treatment.
ahh. sorry - those are the only questions i remembered from the survey they had me take at my postpartum appointments.
I almost went through the same thing--no retained placenta or thyroid problem though. Logan and I had major problems BF-ing. My nips were so cracked. It hurt like hell to BF. I hated it, and I think that made him hate feeding time too. I felt like a horrible mother. I couldn't feed my own child. My BF was able to BF for at least 3 mos., and she was a single mom who was working full-time. My sister was able to feed her son and she was dealing with the death of our father at the time. I cried all the time. And it was at this time that the BF-ing commercials came on tv and the radio which made it even worse for me to hear and see how breast milk was best. Logan wasn't gaining weight. In fact he lost too much at the beginning and then one time we went in to the pedi he lost weight since the time before. I cried all the time (yes I know I said that twice). My husband was getting frustrated for me. I dreaded when Logan would wake up hungry. I didn't know what to think. I (unlike you) never contacted Cheryl. We couldn't really afford it and the hospital LC made me feel so bad that I couldn't bring myself to talk to another LC for fear that she would make me feel that way too. My mom wanted me to talk to my OB about PPD. I was super stressed out. I wasn't able to pump that much. I was worried about how I would be able to pump enough when I went back to work teaching. Before I was able to talk to my OB about PPD, my pedi was very concerned about Logan's not gaining weight that she wanted me to wean him that day. (DH had been wanting me to supplement for a while because he didn't like to see me so depressed and didn't like to see me going through all that).
I felt like I was a bad mother. I couldn't do what I was supposed to be able to do.
Anyway, didn't mean to go on and on. Once I finally made peace with the fact that it was okay to FF; that I had given Logan 5 weeks of my BM (and I did have some in the freezer); that he would be fine, my stress started to go away and I wasn't so sad anymore. Logan is very happy and healthy.
Let me know if you want to talk more. I think I went through what you are going through. I know it's hard, and I will be sending you good thoughts to help you through this.
I didn't mean to make that all about me. I just wanted to share my experience to you thinking it may be similar. I think a pp sounded like she had similar experience to me too and her blues went away when she finally supplemented.
I wish I was more like you and had been brave to post on here about my issues. email me if you want jeanfreerbarnett at gmail dot come