- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
2nd Trimester
CassieD
member
Absurd comment - diaper changing
CassieD
member
DH and I were having dinner with another couple that we're friends with, and they have two little girls, 1 1/2 and 3. The dad was giving DH fathering advice, which was cute. But then he started talking about changing diapers. His perspective was that boy diapers are easier to change, because he feels uncomfortable getting the girls completely clean. I gave him the side-eye. He elaborated and said that he felt like he was violating them and that he didn't want to see his daughters that way, so he just wiped off "the surface" and never had a problem with it. I took that to mean that if they had a messy poopy diaper that he would let it get all up in their vaginas (and possibly get irritated, infected, etc.) rather than make sure they were clean.
Needless to say, that was probably the most absurd comment I've ever heard. It's a freakin' BABY, not a sex object. However, it also got me thinking. Do you think dads have more trouble changing their daughters' diapers vs. their sons'? Or was this guy just psycho?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Absurd comment - diaper changing
Oh wow. That guy shouldn't even be thinking like that with his daughters! I'm not going to have an issue with our boy!
I hope that not all guys are like this. Poor babies!
My DH changes DD's diaper ALL the time. He has no problem with it - it's his little girl, not something bad. And it is so important to make sure things get properly cleaned, especially with girls!
RSVP Date: 2/28/2011
Maybe it's not so much that he's looking at it as sexual... Maybe he's worried about someone thinking he's looking at it that way or accusing him of something. I know guys who would never change someone else's kids' diapers out of fear of appearing inappropriate.
Maybe it's just something that some guys think about because of how litigious our society is nowadays? Women are probably less likely to be accused of being inappropriate, so we're less likely to be worried about it? Just a theory... That guy could well be creepy. I don't know!
Boys diapers are easier to clean...we never had to wipe (on the direction of our pedi b/c pee is sterile) unless he pooped and he NEVER had a diaper rash.
Girls are different because there is more to clean but that probably is the most ridiculous comment I've ever heard.
Well, I know that I'm a bit nervous that my LO will be a boy. Taking care of a peen will be a new and .... interesting experience. I suppose that once it comes down to it, it's not going to be a big deal, but the idea of it makes me nervous.
And I don't see why a parent would feel like they're violating their child by making sure it's clean. I'm embarrassed, sure, but that's all. I think someone needs to shake that man and tell him until they can clean it properly by themselves, it's his job to make sure it's clean!
You know it's so weird bc my bf has a daughter and he told me about how his father would never change his daughter bc he felt uncomfortable bc she was a girl. I was like really? it's a baby lol but I guess that's just some men...
I know my DH has no issues with changing DD and making sure she gets clean. Neither does BIL, who also has a daughter.
That said, I do know one father who has said that he's not comfortable changing his daughter's diaper -- not that he feels like he's "violating" her (that's just really weird and icky to me), but that he feels like there's just something wrong about a little girl being changed by a man.
Then again, this guy has an issue with diapers in general -- he just had a daughter first! I don't think he's changed any of his son's diapers, either. He and his wife have a deal that he doesn't do diapers.
DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
If you ever meet my DH at a local GTG - please don't mention this deal. He'd love to find a way out of diaper duty.
Seriously though, he did say that he was a little worried about changing a girl because he wouldn't know how to clean her at first. Not that it was a creepy sexual thing, but he was worried about doing it wrong & hurting her. I told him just don't wipe backwards & he looked at me a little clueless.
PHOTOS REMOVED
Girls are harder to clean in the way that PP mentioned about there being a higher risk for infection and such. I find DS's diapers much easier than my neices ever were.
But, I think it's an example of how some men are raised to see women's bodies as being inherently sexual and that's sad. I'm not saying he found her body sexy, but I think I could compare it to some men being weirded out by breastfeeding, for instance, because they see breasts as sexual objects, not food objects - if that makes sense. He's her father, he shouldn't see cleaning poop off of her as violating her, he shouldn't even associate sex with her organs at this point.
My DH would change my DD's diaper but he was a bit weirded out in the begining because he didn't know how to do it. I don't think the guy is psycho because I heard this from a few guys before. It has nothing to do with being sexual and more of them never doing it before and being afraid of hurting or doing something wrong.