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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Please help: advice re: birthday party invitees
Please let me know what you'd do. This is our scenario:
DD's birthday party is 2 weeks from Saturday. All along we've planned to invite only our immediate families and closest friends -- about 20 people total. This was at my request after reading the things you should do to keep the party as enjoyable as possible for the birthday girl, and not to freak her out with tons of people, party hats, singing at her, etc., etc...
In August I ordered the party invitations, and 2 weeks ago I mailed them to the people we planned. Done, right?
My mom is pressing me for "special dispensation" to invite my aunt who's single--because it is also her birthday (which means this would then become a joint-birthday party--which I definitely don't want).
Because I know the "smaller party" idea isn't my mom or MIL's favorite idea, I really feel like this is all or nothing: that we either invite all of the "next layer" of aunts/uncles (DD's great aunts/uncles), or none at all. I guess it isn't too late to (verbally) invite these people, although I probably won't have time to get them invitations (I ordered the others from Shutterfly, waited for shipping, etc.).
I'm only reconsidering this because of my mom's pressure, but maybe she has a point. She also talked about having a party at her house the following day (Sunday) for the great aunts/uncles. This kind of annoys me, but maybe I'm being oversensitive/inconsiderate?
I just don't want DD to be overwhelmed or not have fun; this is HER birthday. It shouldn't be political.
Please honestly let me know what you think. I'm torn.
TIA
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Re: Please help: advice re: birthday party invitees
I don't think one aunt being invited has to be an "all or none" situation. I would make it clear that this is DD"s party, and clear up any confusion over the aunt having it be about her at all. But otherwise, I'd probably just say ok. One person more is not a big deal.
And if your Mom wants to throw a party for the extended family, and all you have to do is show up, sounds ok to me too.
But then again, every family dynamic is different. You need to trust your own instincts. But in my opinion, say yes to the things you CAN say yes to, and make people happy. And when you say NO - mean it.
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
I'm afraid that if we make an exception to invite an extended family member on my side, we should allow the same exception on DH's side. I know DH doesn't care, but I worry about what his family will think if that happened.
I also kind of feel like the party my mom was/is thinking of throwing at her house on Sunday is a "Grandma gets to invite the people that I wasn't considerate enough to invite" party. I think I'd feel very awkward showing up; like I made them "consolation prizes".
I really want to tell my mom to get over it and deal--that the plan is staying as is-- but don't want to be out of line.
Who would have thought this would happen since I planned so far ahead?! Ugh.
How would all the relatives on DH's side know that the aunt came to the party?
No matter what you do, someone might get get pissed. I would just invite the aunt. That makes your Mom happy, the aunt happy, and chances are no one else will ever know or care.
DMoney will be a kickass big sister