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Working Moms
AlisaS
member
5 things you like about being a Working Mom ::POLL::
AlisaS
member
in Working Moms
1) I love being a physician and seeing my patients benefit from my expertise and live healthier lives.
2) I like being a role model for my kids and other women as someone who is smart, successfull, and able to combine having children and a rewarding career.
3) I like the "It takes a Village" thing. The fact that my kids get to interact with a number of teachers and kids in school to be totally positive. They learn so much.
4) I can't imagine spending my life pinching pennies if there was actually something I could do about it, meaning work. I am happy to be able to travel, have a safety net and retirement, etc and not worrying that a plumbing problem will be some big concern. I just don't value SAH for me as something I would do if I could not have the other things.
5) Getting to see all the daycare kids when I pick my boys up. I have been seeing these kids since they were 3 months old! And now I get hugs and high-fives! It is awesome!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: 5 things you like about being a Working Mom ::POLL::
I'm not a working mom yet, but I will be going back in 2 weeks. So here are what I'll imagine I will enjoy!
1. Using my education that I worked so hard for.
2. DD getting the opportunity to learn more than what I can or know of to teach her and also to be around other kids.
3. Contributing to the household income.
4. Getting out of the house and interacting with adults and the world outside of being a mommy at home.
5. Being a role model to DD--that you can have a successful career and be a mommy at the same time.
I think it's so sad that you feel this way, and pathetic as well. You have a poor attitude towards SAH moms, and I think you secretly wish that you could be one and are trying to overcompensate.
I like the fact that teachers who are skilled in areas I am not (arts and crafts) will be able to teach my child and help to develop their creativity. I am not creative and neither is my husband ( I'm a statistician and he's an engineer) and I feel as though these are important areas in child development.
I like having an aspect in my life where I can use my individual talents and skills to help society.
I'm with you on the role model aspect. Most of the successful, career driven women I see had mothers who were the same. Interestingly enough most of the men married to them had moms who were successful and ambitious with their careers. I believe it strengthens relationships when both partners are ambitious and driven toward something along with having individual goals. Thats just a personal opinion though
I usually ignore Alisa's posts when she starts bashing SAHMs, but had to jump in this time. It's pretty clear to me that she lacks confidence in her choices. If she were really secure in her decisions, we wouldn't have to read several times per week about why she "loves" being a working mom, especially considering it always includes something about "not pinching pennies" (my family doesn't) or "taking on some kind of pathetic home party business" (I haven't). She stirs the SAHM vs WM pot quite a bit, which isn't something someone does when they are content with their position in life. Sure, some SAHMs do those things, which is their choice, but a lot don't. We are all doing what we feel is best for our families.
Moms would get along much better if we all embraced each others' choices. When I talk about loving my "job" as a SAHM, I don't ever include "I don't want someone else raising my kids", because that would be bashing working moms. It's unnecessary, and I agree, pathetic.
The only common denominator in every SAHM vs WM post I've ever read is your presence. I don't think I'm the one who's hung up on my choices. But please, carry on. You are quite entertaining, to say the least.
I mostly lurk here and on the sahm board, but I would probably say for every "why I love being a WM" post from Alisa there is probably an equal and opposite "why I love being a SAHM" on the other board. If this is the "Working Moms" board, why shouldn't a working mom be able to say why she likes being a working mom? How is being proud of being a WM for all the reasons she stated *for her* somehow subliminally bashing SAHMs? Don't the SAHM's on their board say often why they love staying home *for them*? Alisa even wrote that she doesn't value staying home *for her*.
Perhaps too it is hard for professional women to understand the concept of staying home. I am too a medical professional and after years of hard work, studying, student loans, identifying myself as a doctor well before becoming a mom, I could not imagine NOT being a doctor, not using my training and not working daily. My career is an integral part of who I am. I could not justify it, no matter how much I love my child (and its a LOT). I know some career women plan on returning but once the baby is born they change their minds. I know lots of career women do give it all up to stay home--I personally don't understand it, but if that's what they want to do, it isn't affecting me.
And now to answer the poll:
1- I love the challenge of balancing my work and family life. Its tough but makes me feel very fulfilled when I succeed!
2- I won't lie. I like money. I like having money. My husband is not stressed being the sole breadwinner, I like the freedom it gives us to do things.
3- I LOVE my son's daycare and his teachers and classmates are like family. They are genuinely concerned with his personal development and they have better skills to teach him things than I could do all day long. When I spend time with him, I reinforce things and teach him things that are important and special tome, so I feel he is well rounded.
4- I love my career--its challenging and I love interacting with other adults, professionals and patients.
5- I feel like I am a better mom for being a working mom. happy mom=happy child. Since I am not with him all day, our time together is special and less stressed. I never feel a need to "get away".
I think this is so sweet.
I think this is so sweet.
1. I love being a nurse
2. I love my three 12 hour shift schedule
3. I love spending 4 days with my daughter
4. I love that my life has balance
5. I love that we are saving money for a rainy day
Alisa, being a physician is hard work, be proud of yourself
1- I love my job. I enjoy interacting with my students and growing as a teacher. I know that what I do makes a difference.
2- Being a teacher means that I get summers and holidays off with DD. Because of this I know that during the school year I really take advantage of my time with her evenings and weekends more than I would if I was SAH.
3- DD loves her school and her friends. Her teachers are far more patient than I am and I value their experience and contribution to DD's development.
4- I love our house and lifestyle that would not be possible without my salary.
5- I have learned so much from my career about how people learn and how to motivate and discipline children. This knowledge will make me a much better mom.
There are lots more reasons too, but these were the first that came to mind
1. I like my job. I work with interesting and smart people in a really great environment. I feel good about what I do
2. I like contributing to our household income.
3. I like having a rewarding career that I worked hard for and spent years in school training for. I hope I can serve as a role model for DD in some way.
4. I love working part time. I feel very lucky and feel like I have a pretty good balance in my life.
5. I like the identify I have at work- I feel like I'm doing something that is just "me"- if that makes sense!
I agree 100%. I ALREADY hear SAHMs go on and on about my choice to go back to my medical device sales job when I have a baby next March. I hear "Oh, that is going to be so hard" and "Oh, I value staying home w/my child so much more than money" and "Oh, I can't imagine putting in child in daycare, blah blah blah". I hear rude comments from insecure women constantly, and I don't even have a baby yet!!!! So, for SAHM's to bash the OP is just adding fuel to my fire. I for one am already sick of the SAHM vs WM debate. I think each board has said many comments about why they do what they do, and that is their right. It's immature to lurk and leave spiteful comments. If you don't like it, you don't have to visit the WM boards, pretty simple.
I personally enjoy hearing the positive aspects of women who work and are excellent mothers. It makes me more confident in my decision to continue to be a career woman and amazing mother when I have a baby next yr. I have no doubt that it will be hell sometimes, and take alot of adjusting. I am also very confident that I will be a wonderful mother, wife, and have a nice balance in my life because I do both. I am very thankful for the words for the support from the WM's on this board post, and am grateful to have these women to interact with.
Probably nothing that hasn't been said already, but here are mine:
1. I enjoy my job and using my advanced degree.
2. DD's school is wonderful and I can tell her teachers really care about her.
3. I love that she's being exposed to other kids, culture, music and art in a way that I could never do
4. I like bringing in an income. It may not be close to what DH earns, but I am contributing and DD is on my health insurance so I feel like I'm providing a great benefit for her - it makes me feel really proud!
5. I feel like my life has a good balance, one that didn't exist when I was staying home.
To focus on the positive:
1) I am using my degrees (of which some I am still paying for)
2) hmm I can't really answer anymore.
I guess I am disappointed where I am. I worked hard, went to school, have a decade of work experience and I am not making as much money as I expected at this point. Going on maternity leave and having a little one to pick up at a certain time everyday has actually slowed down my upward mobility. I know I will get it back, but as a hard worker I am pissed that it doesn't matter what I do, the perception is there bc of previous women in the dept that didn't handle these years very well. (yes I am actively seeking new opportunities, it is slow going).
I can't say what some of you can as I am struggling with bills and trying to save. We do have a house, and that plays into why we are short on cash these days. But damn it. I just thought if I was a working mom it would be bc I was providing a better lifestyle and I just can't say that right now.
Bitter working mom. Check.
I know when I am not paying for daycare all of this will come back into balance but boy is it hard to see the forest for the trees these days.
I am glad there are some women out there who do have it figured out.
CLAP.
I was going to say pretty much the same thing.
I was very disheartened to come on today and see all the SAHM's here on the Working Moms board bashing it. After visiting the SAHM board briefly this morning, I felt very offended by the comments regarding not being able to imagine letting someone else raise their child or how working moms value money more than their children and what if their children knew they felt that way.
The OP is no different than the posts started asking why SAHM's love SAH.
And if a WM needs a little boost to remember why she is working, who the heck cares?! Frankly, people who don't like it can go back to their board and think that we are either money grubbing baby haters or in need of pity because we can't SAHM.
I'm neither.
1. Interacting with other adults and having that adult time, like being able to eat a meal while hot and pee in peace.
2. The financial security it brings to us and helping me work closer to my goal of being PT when DD turns 10.
3. The satisfaction I get from solving complex problems and helping my clients
4. The camraderie with my coworkers.
5. Yep, seeing the daycare kids is awesome. One who has been friends with DD since she started saw that my ankle was hurt and when I came in without the walking boot, excitedly asked me if my foot was all better.
6. Hearing the things DD has learned and seeing her forge these friendships.
7. After a day of work, I enjoy the time with my kids that much more.
8. And I'm just not cut out to be a SAHM. Just like an apple can't be an orange, it's just not who I am. So I'm grateful to not have to be the square peg forced into a round hole.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
I think it's unfortunate that Alisa wrote a post to encourage wm's to see the good aspects of their jobs rather than the negative and she gets bashed for it. Why is it so horrible to feel good about what you do? I find this especially troubling since so many posts on this board are from new working mothers who could use a little encouragement.
With that...
1. I hate my job and my arrogant colleagues (except my boss who I adore) but I value the fact that I am forced to think critically each and every day. My mind is sharp and I constantly have my finger on the pulse of the financial system.
2. Working forces me to stay extremely organized. I felt so disorganized during my 5 month maternity leave. Bills were overlooked, home projects got put on the back shelf and the simplest tasks seemed overwhelming to me. Work puts those types of things in perspective for me and gives me the ability to take care of them with ease. This baffles me... DH was on hiatus from his job during a good part of my leave and we had so much time on our hands and yet nothing got done (aside from watching many movies and 3 seasons of Dexter). Within a month of being back to work - everything was wrapped up. I guess I just operate better with structure.
3. I love the care our DS is receiving. Our nanny has over 20 years of experience with children and she thinks of doing things with him that I never would have considered. I think he's benefited greatly by having her in his life.
4. I like meeting my girlfriends for lunch and taking my lunch hour to go get a mani/pedi every week.
5. I love the money and stability. We don't worry about financial issues or how we'll make ends meet if one of us gets sick or loses our job. We're able to save aggressively for retirement and educations for our children and hopefully, we will both be able to retire early.
Pesky! You gave me a 2) on a tough day:
Peeing in peace and a hot meal! Amen.
1. I like my job a lot, and love my coworkers. We are truly a team, and when I see really sick or dying children get better and go home...it feels really good.
2. My children get to see that daddy's job is important, and so is mommy's, and we work together to figure out daycare and babysitters.
3. I have a retirement account as does DH, and we have savings accounts and investments. We work together for everything; if we want upgrades in the house, or DH wants a motorcycle, or I want something expensive to wear, it is talked about and planned for.
4. We get to vacation twice a year, once with kids and once without. That would probably be the first thing to "go" if one of us stayed home.
5. Security. We purchased our house based on one salary, that way if either of us had to stay home at some point, we could. I opted to work part time, and it's given us a leg up on a lot of things--kids college funds, retirement, savings, and paying off things early, like cars. It is also great to know that we could afford our bills with one paycheck, but we don't have to constantly scrimp and save and worry about money.
1) I like being a roll model for my kids and opening up their world to lots of possibilities.
2) I like what I do and find it interesting and stimulating most days.
3) I like having some of my own $$ that I can do anything with that I like. And, I like that DH has some of his own to do with what he wants too.
4) I like that my kids are in a great school, getting great educations that I otherwise wouldn't be able to afford if I SAH.
5) I like that WOH gives me the structure I need in my day. I would really not function well if I SAH b/c I need routine and structure in my day and lack the self discipline to stick to a schedule w/o working.
1. Like you, I love being a role model for my DD as a working mom. My mother was a SAHM who held it over my head constantly that she "gave up so much" for me which made me feel like a burden to her rather than a joy. I never want DD to feel that way, nor do I want her to feel like she has to give up a career she enjoys because she's a mom.
2. I love that DD has friends...well...HAD friends (we just switched daycares) at school. She's very social with kids her age as a result of it, which I'm hoping will keep her from being as shy as I was as a kid (and still as an adult).
3. I love contributing to the family income. We struggle with finances (neither DH nor I earn a whole lot) but together, we know the budget and it makes me feel good to know that the weight of supporting the family financially doesn't all fall on him.
4. Because I work, I find myself truly appreciating and taking advantage of the time DD and I spend together. Not to say that SAHMs might not feel this way, but I know if I were a SAHM, personally, I'd be more likely to take that time for granted.
5. My income helps us save for DD's college. I put myself through college and it was a huge struggle for me. I don't want DD to have to worry about this stuff, I want her to be able to go to college, maybe just work part time if she chooses, get good grades, and start a career that she loves.
Throwing leaves
I just discovered one:
Not having to share every single thing I eat.
1. I love that I have the perfect blend of SAH with Jack and working PT, I'm a nurse and just dropped down to 3 twelve hour shifts per 2 weeks. I pick up more shifts if I want, and stay home more if I feel like it.
2. I love that feeling when I get home from a 12 hour shift and I pick up J and just squeeze him like I've been away for days. I don't take advantage of my time with him like I may have if I SAH full time.
3. I like the financial security that I am bringing to my family, even if it's only couple thousand a month.
4. I love being forced to get out of the house and to interact with other adults.
I agree with the comments about not bashing each others choices.
I was a working mom for twy years. At that time I would have said:
1. I enjoyed the social aspects of work. I worked with my coworkers from age 24-31 and went through alot of life changes with them around as friends and supporters.
2. I enjoyed the travel! I got paid to go to Hawaii and Orlando.
3. The silent 45 minute commute was MY time.
4. I liked my paycheck! I made over 60% of our income and my salary was the reason we have the house we live in now.
5. I have a very healthy retirement account.
So, then DD2 was born and when she was two weeks old I got a phone call that my job was being eliminated (they replaced me with 3 workers in Mexico and just recently told them they are done in December because they are now offshoring to get more bodies for the same money using resources from India). Anyway, I digress.......
Why I like my SAHM life now.
1. My DH is a surgeon and is not home much, well at all, so I'm glad that the girls have me around as a constant.
2. We love DD1's daycare so much that she goes there 4 mornings a week for preschool and still sees all her friends. She socializes, learns colors/letters/numbers, does art projects, gets to go on pony rides and have fun holiday parties, etc.
3. Point #2 has allowed me to have one on one time with DD2 and also time to go to the gym in the mornings (she comes with me).
4. I like being home to prepare a homecooked meal and eat together as a family, even though some nights we eat at a normal time and then just sit down with DH when he gets home at 8:30.
5. We are about to pick up and move anywhere in the country for DH's trauma fellowship and at this time I'm glad I don't have to worry about my job and looking for a new one. I can use my time to sell things and pack the house and get it ready for sale.
So, I spent 2 years as a working mom and 10 months as a SAHM and both sides had benefits for me. Ultimately when the girls are in school I would like to volunteer during the day and make a difference in my community that way.
J2 11.17.08