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Austin Babies
Bookworm75
member
The "either or" close works well on my 2yo
Bookworm75
member
In sales, we have different types of "closes" we use on buyers. One of them is called the "either or" close. Meaning you give your buyer/customer the option of coming back on Sat or Sun, for example. Odds are when you give someone a choice of two things, they will pick one of them.
Well, after much fighting w/our strong willed 2yo, we discovered a trick that works on him; yes, the "either or" close. For instance, if we need to get him dressed or change his diaper, we give him the choice of doing that or something that he hates, like washing his hair. So we'll say, "do you want to get dressed or wash your hair?" We usually have to repeat the question about 3-5x to get the desired result, but once he chooses to do the thing we are trying to get him to do, the fight is over. No crying, no whining, infact at times he's even helpful!
I just thought I'd pass this on to you moms in the hopes that you might be able to use this little trick on your reluctant toddler/preschooler too.
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Re: The "either or" close works well on my 2yo
Jacob David (01/07), Matthew Isaac (12/08) & Kasey Elise (9/10)
WEB
Ha ha! Thanks for the tip!
Ditto lrb on having to think of worse things to give him a choice of. Hopefully our kids don't get too smart and repeat this stuff back to us like:
Do you want me to draw on the walls or the furniture?
~NDK~
Meredith, 6-1-06 and Alex, 11-5-09
This advice has saved my sanity more ways than I can describe.
We also pump up her ego. Getting dressed is a nightmare since she is such a fashionista. So, I will prep by saying since you are such a big girl I need you to help mommy with a really hard decision. Do you want your {insert adjective} red shirt or this blue shirt. Normally I can get her to choose what I want her to choose based on how I play it up
This same build up the big girl helper thing has helped at night too since she now cleans up all her own toys.
We do this frequently with DD. I'd just never thought of making a list of items she dislikes. That's smart. We usually give her two equal options (do you want an apple or banana) or one option and one ultimatum (put on your pajamas now and then read stories or leave the room and no stories).
Oh I'm totally going to work this into my mommy rotation. Thanks!!!
I've never heard it phrased that way, but that is a great technique! Gary Landreth has a video he calls Choices, Cookies, and Kids. The example is: if there is a plate of cookie on the table and the child wants the plate, you give them the choice of one cookie or no cookies. Same principle.
It is such a cool feeling of empowerment for the parents I work with when they realize that they are getting to choose the choices, so they are ultimately in control. The reason why it works is because the child thinks they are in control.
Once they get to be teenagers, there is some modifications required in the technique and some heartache!
Married and it feels so good!
Any advice for a snotty six year old who I told she wasn't getting pizza tomorrow after dance class and her reaction was "fine, I'm not hungry anyways". You know any advice other than slapping her accros the face like my mom would have done to me?
I've use modified versions of the "either or" and didn't even know it. I'll try it and report back.
This. Hmmm...what *doesn't* she like? I think mine is also starting to enter that age where they say, "fine, i didn't want (to do) it anyway"! ha!
...annnnd this. hahahaah!