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Am I the only one that feels this way or am I just crazy?
Since DD was about 6 weeks old, I keep having the feeling that it would be great to get pregnant this fall and have another baby next summer. I keep waiting for this feeling to pass and for reality to set in but the feeling doesn?t seem to be going anywhere because I keep thinking that it?s a good idea. I just had my first period and I?m thinking, why not get off the pill and ?see what happens?...but then I wonder if I?m just crazy and in a honeymoon period with DD. DH can go either way.
The pros are that (1) DD could have a sibling close to her age to grow up with, (2) We?re not getting any younger and we hope to have 2-3 kids, and (3) DD has been such a joy in our lives so why add more joy and expand the family. The cons are that (1) it could be more stressful with two children so young (2) it would be expensive to have two children in daycare under the age of 2.
Does anyone have this feeling or is it just me?
Is there really any difference between waiting 2 or 3 years for your second child or just going for it and having them close together?
Did anyone have two kids really close together and wish they had waited longer?
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Re: Am I the only one that feels this way or am I just crazy?
personally, I think you are crazy!
my DD has never been an easy baby, when ppl ask I tell them, she's 3000 times harder than I ever expected and I thought I expected the worst! She did not STTN (heck, forget STTN, she did not sleep more than 3.5 hrs at a time) till we Ferberized at 9.5 mo; her naps last exactly 30 minutes; she would only take about 4.5oz of BM a day from a bottle; she had bad eczema and food allergies (I had to go on elimination diet very early on); she had really bad acid reflux, I could go on and on and on...
If you'd asked during her 1st 6-7 mo of life if I ever want to have another baby, I'd have shot you just for asking. She's almost 1 y.o. now and still a very difficult, demanding baby, some of the old issues are gone (reflux, for ex) but new ones take their place. Only now can I think, yes, we'll probably have another one, although I honestly don't know how well I'll handle it. I'm still BFing and still have not gotten AF. But we want her to have a sibling. When DH and I are old and sick and need taking care of, we don't want her to shoulder the burden alone. And every single child I know has told me how lonely it is being an only child.
but if your DD is super easy and your OB says you've healed, then why not? Although #2 may not be as easy, most of my friends' kids are opposite, if #1 was super easy, #2 was super hard. Although some had hard #1s and even harder #2s (that'll be us, I know it).
good luck w/ your decision!
I got baby fever after having DD #1, I'm trying to remember when that was - maybe when she was 4 or 5 or 6 months old? And I had talked to a few people who had the same urge, and we were all kind of like "wow, why do we feel this way?" I still don't know - maybe there is something hormonal that happens after you get your period back that gives you the urge. Who knows. My brain told me not to space any closer, but boy, my body wanted to have them be like 12 months apart. Yikes!
I'm very glad we waited and spaced the kids 24 months apart (so, not technically "two under two" but I guess "two at two.") which for us is a very good spacing. Also, KNOCK WOOD, both of our kids are generally pretty easy re: eating, sleeping, being predictable. They STTN 11-12 hours very early, they are good natured, they haven't been sick much, etc. We are ridiculously lucky.
However... we will be spacing kid #3 more like 3 years from DD #2 for a bunch of other detailed reasons that I won't bore you with. But no regrets on spacing #1 and #2 exactly two years apart.
One more thing - Parenting magazine, the one that's tailored for the early years (I subscribe), had an article with moms' perspectives on spacing kids the three most popular spacing - two under two, three years apart and four years apart: https://www.parenting.com/article/Pregnancy/Relationships/Ready-for-Another-Child/1
I don't think you're crazy, I'm ready too. I wish I would get my period so we could start TTC because we're pretty sure we'll have to do IUI again but we'd like to try on our own for a few months before we go back to the RE.
My reasoning is a little different though. I really don't enjoy being pregnant because I am a very active person, I run, hike, bike ride, etc. I wasn't able to do those things in the first part of my pregnancy because I had a low lying placenta and the second half I was just too darn huge. In order to enjoy those activities as a family, baby needs to be 6 months to a year old (or old enough to sit up on their own). So I'd like to get the pregnancy plus the first 6 months out of the way as soon as possible. We know we're only going to have 2 children so we're ready to start for #2 now.
I agree with you on your reasons too. :-)
TTC #1 Cycle 14 - IUI#1=BFN, IUI#2=BFP | TTC #2 Cycle 8=BFP!!
I don't think you're crazy at all. DH and I have been talking in general terms about "when" we have our next one- not "if". If your life is calm and stable enough (and you're physically ready) to support another baby, then go for it. DH and I are going to wait about a year as our lives are really crazy right now and we need everything to settle down before adding to our load.
But yea, we're already thinking about LO #2 too.
LOL, Kendra, I think you are crazy with a capital "C" :-) But that's because I can't even imagine getting pregnant again right now. First, call me selfish, but I want to get back down to a size 6 again and feel a little sexy for at least a couple months before I get knocked up again! And second (and more practically), I'd like to wait until I'm done with school and gainfully employed. These kids cost a lot of dough and so does my tuition :-(
As far as temperament goes, Warner is as easy as they come...he is the happiest, most content baby. But his spitting up (as you have witnessed) is a lot to deal with. So a third factor in us wanting to wait is that I'd like for him to get through that phase before our next puker arrives...otherwise we might actually drown in spit up
Huh - now that I'm home and looking at the July issue of Parenting, I see the article I linked to above is not the same article in the hard copy magazine. The hard copy magazine literally has "pros" and "cons" for each spacing.
Well, anyway, maybe you have the magazine or know someone who subscribes.
I had the urge at around 9 months. My friend has 2 spaced 15 months apart and she is very happy. All the baby stuff will be over with quickly for her. She said it was more work, but small children are work, so it wasn't that bad because she was used to it. There was no worry of regression or anything at that age either. Her oldest was too small to care too much about the new addition.
I think whatever feels right to you. Good Luck.
If DD#2 hadn't been an Oops baby I don't know when I would have gotten the urge. We knew we wanted more than one but Maggie was tough as a baby and I still remember those days and nights. Six months is a great age when they really start becoming interactive and fun to play with - maybe that is the euphoria you speak of, but I really love getting my sleep and both my kids waited until around 5mo to do so.
Also I thought my first pg wasn't fun but my second was really bad with the puking and I needed meds to be able to function. It was really hard with the toddler and feeling badly and not sleeping for the entire 9 months (I had awful insomnia). Although I think it would be tough with any older DC, so that might not be an age thing.
I agree with your pros and cons except that I have no love for the newborn stage. They are adorable to look at and it feels nice to hold them but the crying and sleepless nights just wear me down - I prefer more nieces and nephews if I want to hold more newborns. If I could birth a 6mo old I would probably have a 3rd but as science has not progressed that far (and pg would probably do me in after 15 mo), I think we are done.
I know as they get a little older I will love having them so close together, but it is hard work when they are little.
something else to consider. DD is at an age now where all she wants to do is walk by holding my hand, I indulge her but it hurts my back. She also needs to be carried much of the time and I cannot imagine being 7-8mo pregnant and carrying around a 20-21lb baby
My friend has 2, they are 14 mo. apart. She is a SAHM, which I think might actually be more difficult because she can't drop them off with somebody else for a few hours! For cost reasons and our own sanity we would like to have ours be 2-3 years apart. My younger sisters were 14 mo apart as well but were 4 years younger than me, and when we were young, they were a little too much younger than I was for us to be close. So I think 2-3 years apart is perfect for us.
HOWEVER
I have the baby fever too. I think it's because DS is at that perfect age, happy and babbling and rolypoly and STTN. 3 months ago, I didn't even want to think about another child!
Thanks everyone for your responses. It was interesting to hear how others feel about this. I guess it seems that about half think I'm crazy
and half have similar feelings.
I think part of the problem is that DD has been super easy the past 2 months. She STTN and doesn't cry much. She sucks her thumb and self-soothes and she's generally pretty easy...but I have to remember it is not always going to be that way as she goes through different stages of development.
Generally, with my battles between my logical mind and my feeling heart, the logical mind wins out. So, we probably won't start trying for #2 for another year. But it's something that has really been on my mind the past few months.
INSANE! lol
Just wait until you have a toddler and you will change your mind. Carter spent two hours last night screaming and throwing himself on the ground b/c I wouldn't let him go outside (it was dinner time). I couldn't imaging dealing with an infant and having a toddler at the same time.