gift for child being used by parents.

anglynn1124 · September 2009

Would it bother you if you gave a cash gift to a friends child for their baptism and instead of it being put aside for the childs future it was spent on fun things for the parents ( concerts, eating out, etc ) ? or would you think the money is more the parents to do what they want with ?

Nicavesani · September 2009

IMO a gift is a gift... once you give it you have no say in how it is used. If you cared how it was used you should have bought a gift card.

aelyngstad · September 2009

I would probably be disappointed if it were for fun things that the LO wouldn't be able to enjoy. I wouldn't mind if it was for things like diapers, daycare, etc.

kklickka · September 2009

Yes, it would bother me. If they used it right away to buy things for the baby (formula, diapers, a stroller, etc.) instead of putting it in savings I wouldn't care, but since the money was a gift for the child they shouldn't be using it for themselves. But there's not much you can do about it after the fact! Maybe in the future just remember this, and give them something that could ONLY be used for the baby (clothes, a giftcard to BRU, or something similar).

jacksjerseygirl · September 2009

How do you know that is what they used the cash for? As parents, we are shelling out cash almost every day it seems (diapers, formula, clothing, pictures, toys, furniture, developmental items, and on and on and on).

And who says that cash gifts should be only used for 'the future'? In all honesty, it's a wash. Equal value of money was or will be used on the child.

And ... it's a GIFT. Which means that you can't dicate what it is used for.

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · September 2009

It would depend on the amount of money. If it was $20 cash in a card, then I don't expect it to necessarily make it to the bank (unless it were a bunch of cards, like at a wedding/shower). If it were a larger amount, or a lot of cards were received at once, then I would expect it to make it to the bank.

Ultimately and unfortunately, it's up to the parents to decide what they want to do with the $$, right or wrong.

If they were using it improperly, then in the future I would get a gift for the child instead of giving money.

bridetobe05 · September 2009

I would be upset! I gave money to their child, not them. It should be spent on the child/set aside for college, ect. I would be livid, but I guess there isn't anything you could do about it. Maybe a savings bond in the child's name would be a better idea, so that the parents wouldn't be able to spend it on nonsense.

babybmomma · September 2009

Yes, it would bother me if I knew the gift I gave to the child was being spent by the parents instead. It's a baptism for the baby not the parents. I think it's selfish and wrong if the parents spent it on themselves...especially for things like concerts, etc. That's something the parents need to use their own money for.

PuppyMommy · September 2009

bridetobe05:
I would be upset! I gave money to their child, not them. It should be spent on the child/set aside for college, ect. I would be livid, but I guess there isn't anything you could do about it. Maybe a savings bond in the child's name would be a better idea, so that the parents wouldn't be able to spend it on nonsense.

Ditto! I get what the pp are saying about how you can't dictate where the money goes, but if it's a gift to the child and not the parents, then it isn't the parent's money to spend.

jacksjerseygirl · September 2009

PuppyMommy:
bridetobe05:
I would be upset! I gave money to their child, not them. It should be spent on the child/set aside for college, ect. I would be livid, but I guess there isn't anything you could do about it. Maybe a savings bond in the child's name would be a better idea, so that the parents wouldn't be able to spend it on nonsense.
Ditto! I get what the pp are saying about how you can't dictate where the money goes, but if it's a gift to the child and not the parents, then it isn't the parent's money to spend.

So with that same logic if someone buys my LO a gift, clothing, a toy gun, etc that either we don't need or do not want LO to have - then it isn't my right to donate it forward, exchange it for something that I feel he or the family needs? I guess after all it wasn't my toy gun to get rid of?

I think you all are missing the boat on this one. What does it matter if the parents spend 100 bucks today on a crib and 100 bucks today on a concert ticket. How do you get to dictate which envelop cash comes out of as being the gift money vs. household money.

I think the rule of thumb on this one is MYOB

anglynn1124 · September 2009

Just to clarify a few points : It was all the money given to the child, not just one persons gift..It was stated in thank you cards it was being saved for college, initially put into an account for the child and then slowly transferred into the parents account..These people are going through a rough time financially but still finding time & money for going to concerts, eating out & other things for themselves.

I also tend to agree, that a gift is a gift and shouldnt have strings attached..but I dont know, I just think there is something wrong with it..If they needed the money to pay bills or buy food, then it is being used , in essence for the child..but these people are crying poor and saying they need the money to pay bills and then going to multiple concerts in one weekend, eating out constantly ,etc. Just rubs me the wrong way, but at the end of the day you're right , nothing can be done about it and I will just hope they are able to give the money back to the child someday.

josswhedon · September 2009

Instead of giving cash give a savings bond in the childs name or ask if there is 529 that you can deposit the money into.

Although the parents can do with it what they please, I would be a little dissappointed if I gave my niece money for her college fund and my SIL used it to feed her shopping addiction.

grinsandgiggles · September 2009

I'm sorry, but I must be in the minority here...how is a gift of money okay to be used for concerts when it was clearly the baby's baptism? I know you shouldn't dictate, but I would never spend the money on myself if it was clearly meant for baby.

Now maybe they replaced the money? Did they come out and say they were using it for that? I wouldn't expect it to be saved for the future, but I would expect it to be used for baby.

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