Baby Shower Etiquette

nickihines · September 2009

My best friend has decided to throw me a baby shower about a month before I'm due... she was going to do it at my Mom's house, but since I just had my bridal shower there a year ago, she didn't want it to feel like a repeat. I volunteered my house, which I thought would make it easier, we wouldn't have to lug all the gifts around either. Anyway, I'm such a planner and love event design. I'm finding myself looking up ideas for the baby shower, themes, decor, food, desserts... it wouldn't be wrong of me to help plan things, right? Or does that defeat the purpose? What have you guys done or plan to do for your shower?

Pennylane824 · September 2009

I didn't have any involvement in my shower because my mom and sisters love doing it. It turned out prettier than I could have ever imagined. That being said, if she asks you different things you want or asks for your input on themes and decor I don't think it's bad to have input. Just don't takeover the planning :-).

Layla116 · September 2009

I haven't done anything for either of mine (one's this weekend, the other's in about 3 weeks), but that's because no one will let me help. I want to help with things, but everyone's like "this is YOUR baby shower; you shouldn't be helping!"

Shananah · September 2009

I wanted nothing to do with my shower. If you do, I say power to you, as long as you're not throwing it for yourself, or asking them to spend more money for your 'event design.'

Soap1 · September 2009

You definitely shouldn't try to plan your own. Let the hostess have plenty of autonomy. She may have ideas of her own!

That being said, if she asks for your input or help, then feel free to jump in!

Lizzerd13 · September 2009

I have been helping right from the beginning. I actually made the invitations with my mom and sister. It's been a big group effort. But that is just how we do things. My mom wanted the shower to be at my house but my sister was totally against that idea. I would have loved it, not having the transport the gifts anywhere!

Jen1231 · September 2009

The only thing I have had input on for my baby shower was the food. And, that's because my mom asked me what kind of food and cake I would like. But, that's about it.

tnd1218 · September 2009

My Mom, and friends are throwing mine. My mom ask all the time if I would like certain things or tells me if I happen to see something I like to let her know. Im usually the planner and get things done so I think shes depending one me to say lets do this and this. Im trying to let her and my friends do it as much as possible though so I can just sit back and enjoy.

wnk1029 · September 2009

I've also had nothing to do with planning mine. The only thing I've "done" is to get the planners some addresses. I think it'll be more fun being a surprise.

cartzsbride2k8 · September 2009

I had very formal wedding showers, so when my sister offered to throw me a baby shower, she and I talked about what I wanted vs. what I didn't want (aka, didn't want a repeat of my wedding showers - very uncomfortable for me). I told her I wasn't trying to control the current situation at all, but she was happy to have my input on the overall feeling of the day-- just not the details. I think you can ask your BFF if she wants your help in planning at all, because you have ideas, but if she says no, she wants to do it all for you, sit back, relax and enjoy it!

Liss_37 · September 2009

My shower is this coming Sunday. and although I would have loved to help plan it, I know that my sisters and mom wanted to do it for me and make it very special so I've just sat back and let them do it. And now I'm glad I did, i can't wait to see how great it'll be

Mrs.Husband · September 2009

I had nothing to do with my 1st shower. Loved it. For the second (which is going to be in our home but hosted by 2 friends), I've had a say in the invites and the menu. My friends have a 4 week old and 10 week old, respectively, so I'm even shocked they wanted to host a shower. So I'm trying to be as helpful as possible without taking away their role as hostess. Just this morning I was thinking about whether I should plan for the decorations. Something simple. Not sure and just plan on asking them outright!

NewToNJBride · September 2009

I also volunteered my house for my shower. 3 of my friends are hosting it because my mom lives out of state and is not attending and my MIL has some major work events the only weekend they could do it. Other than offering to help with food (e.g. find a place to cater it), they won't let me do much.

I am going to have my house cleaned before it and will be sure to have plenty of wine/soda/water/sparkling cider on hand but other than that, I am letting them handle it (and all the hosts live out of state). I don't expect to do decorations and a theme because it will be a very low key/relaxed get together for a small group. Good luck and enjoy!

KimberlyJean · September 2009

I had my shower yesterday and it was at my house. I offered it b/c I knew I had the space and a lot of my family lives near me. I also did the invitations b/c I'm crafty like that and my BFF who was hosting has a 2 year old and an 11 month old to contend with. She and my Mom/MIL took care of the rest and it was awesome! Big Smile

littlemaybaby · September 2009

I helped make my invites. I wanted to do it since it's part of my side job - and my aunt told me I could only do them if I swore to her that I was doing them because I wanted to and not because I am the family "go to" person for invites/paper. I think if you want to help, there's no harm in that - but don't loose sight of the fact that other people are throwing the shower for you!

Michele57O · September 2009

I did help a lot on my bridal shower so on this one I asked to stay out of it. I have given them feedback about colors I would prefer, food needs to be approved by me so that is stuff I like (I am a picky eater), and other little things. I don't think it is wrong to help with ideas just let them do all the work.

benoitfan · September 2009

My shower is being hosted my my SIL with help from my MIL. The only thing I have contributed to the event was a date that was good for me (this coming saturday) and a list of guests. Other than that I have had no input. My SIL is all about the guest of honour having no involvement in the planning process (we weren't allowed to help with our stag and doe when we got married as SIL and the rest of the wedding party took care of it).

She is a very girly girl and loves to do these kind of things. I have heard thru the grapevine that the invitations were very nice (handmade). Other than that I basically know when and where to show up, which is fine by me. I did tell my SIL that if she needed help with food or anything to let me know (I'd gladly help to cover costs if necessary) and that I didn't need her to go overboard with games and prizes, etc. For me the shower is about sharing this exciting upcoming event with my family and dearest friends, the rest is just a bonus. I have to admit I am getting very excited about it though!

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