My Point Here...

Barneso · September 2009

Is not about the weight gain. It's the fact that you told this girl who is probably just FINE on her weight-gain that 10 lbs. is normal. If you consider it in the context of her original post where she was obviously concerned that she was gaining too much, you are implying to her that she needs to curtail her eating.

Considering the fact that everyone's bodies, pregnancies and weight gain is different and should be only analyzed between said person and their doctor, I feel that you were being irresponsible.

Again, you don't know what her mindset was. Rather than encouraging someone that "10 lbs is fine, shoot for that!", a simple "It's between you and your doctor" would have been sufficient.

You are responsible for what you put out onto the internet and sometimes it's important to think about how it might affect others.

gingerfamily · September 2009

And saying that 10-15 pounds for an overweight person is recomended is not right, either.

Pot meet kettle.

StarryNight39 · September 2009

Seriously, did you READ the OP? And creating yet another post about this - so AWish. Just let it go.

IrishBrideND · September 2009

The point of another post is......?

susanlovestexas · September 2009

kimbarnes83:

You are responsible for what you put out onto the internet and sometimes it's important to think about how it might affect others.

I didn't see the post you're referring to and I am not arguing with the point you are making, but I just wanted to add that you are also responsible for what you read on the internet and how you interpret it or let it affect you. Sometimes people forget how to use common sense and sort out good advice from bad advice or to recognize truth from fiction.

Barneso · September 2009

I did read the Original Post - the entire thing and that's what prompted me to respond.

As far as being an attention whore, that's not my goal here - Do you think I like the flack that I'm receiving?

All I'm saying is that you, StarryNight, specifically, need to be more responsible for the round-about advice that you bestow on others.

TXTwisterBabe · September 2009

I don't think anyone was telling her that 10lbs is what she should shoot for. I think they were saying what was fine for her MIL may not be fine for her, but if she only gained 10lbs, it would not be that big of a deal either. Some of us don't gain hardly anything and still have healthy babies; just like some people gain too much and still have healthy pregnancies.

Do I agree with the guidelines, yes...does everyone stick to them? No. Everyone is different. Whether she was under or over is probably what's normal for her and so long as her Dr has no probs with it, she's fine. But on the same hand, say she only gains 10-15lbs like her MIL, I'm sure there is no problem there if that's just how her body works.

Now the comment to her MIL was rude, since the MIL is probably just ignorant of any kind of guidelines and is ruled by her drive to stay thin. Being rude to ignorant people doesn't do them any favors either, which is why you should educate them rather than scold them. What she said was forgivable, which is why I don't understand all of the uproar over what she said.

Barneso · September 2009

susanlovestexas:
kimbarnes83:

You are responsible for what you put out onto the internet and sometimes it's important to think about how it might affect others.

I didn't see the post you're referring to and I am not arguing with the point you are making, but I just wanted to add that you are also responsible for what you read on the internet and how you interpret it or let it affect you. Sometimes people forget how to use common sense and sort out good advice from bad advice or to recognize truth from fiction.

I agree with this. However, if someone comes online and is basically saying "MIL said I shouldn't need to gain more than 10 lbs" and is obviously looking for some kind of validation, how can a person possibly say something like "I gained 10 lbs and I was just fine!" without thinking that everyone is different?

IrishBrideND · September 2009

kimbarnes83:
susanlovestexas:
kimbarnes83:

You are responsible for what you put out onto the internet and sometimes it's important to think about how it might affect others.

I didn't see the post you're referring to and I am not arguing with the point you are making, but I just wanted to add that you are also responsible for what you read on the internet and how you interpret it or let it affect you. Sometimes people forget how to use common sense and sort out good advice from bad advice or to recognize truth from fiction.

I agree with this. However, if someone comes online and is basically saying "MIL said I shouldn't need to gain more than 10 lbs" and is obviously looking for some kind of validation, how can a person possibly say something like "I gained 10 lbs and I was just fine!" without thinking that everyone is different?

I agree that that sort of logic is absurd. It happens ALL the time here and it drives me up a freaking wall.

BUT in that case, I think people were trying to show her that her MIL wasn't ridiculous and she shouldn't have snapped at her and told her she was unhealthy for only gaining 10-15 pounds. Thats the point. It CAN be healthy in some cases. Its not what most people should gain, but some should.

Barneso · September 2009

Txtwister...

I agree that the lady was rude to her MIL and it should have been handled differently.

The problem, again, is to say "10 lbs is fine, I only gained 10 with mine!" when you have no idea if 10 lbs. is fine for this girl or not. Then the girl goes and deletes it, obviously indicating that she's very upset, etc.

I just think when you are responding to someone who is talking about a pregnancy-affecting subject (Weight, spotting, hot baths, etc.) it's important to watch the way that you respond and keep in mind that some of the people who post/read postings here are dumb, crazy, etc.

My opinion is just that it's important to go easy on people like that and not plant it in their heads that something is DEFINITELY okay when you really don't know if it is, for them, or not.

loregopar · September 2009

kimbarnes83:
susanlovestexas:
kimbarnes83:

You are responsible for what you put out onto the internet and sometimes it's important to think about how it might affect others.

I didn't see the post you're referring to and I am not arguing with the point you are making, but I just wanted to add that you are also responsible for what you read on the internet and how you interpret it or let it affect you. Sometimes people forget how to use common sense and sort out good advice from bad advice or to recognize truth from fiction.

I agree with this. However, if someone comes online and is basically saying "MIL said I shouldn't need to gain more than 10 lbs" and is obviously looking for some kind of validation, how can a person possibly say something like "I gained 10 lbs and I was just fine!" without thinking that everyone is different?

Is that what she was looking for, validation for her weight gain? I seriously don't know, maybe she can come back and tell us!

It seems to me that she was fine with her weight, just tired of MIL saying constantly that she should watch it.

susanlovestexas · September 2009

kimbarnes83:
susanlovestexas:
kimbarnes83:

You are responsible for what you put out onto the internet and sometimes it's important to think about how it might affect others.

I didn't see the post you're referring to and I am not arguing with the point you are making, but I just wanted to add that you are also responsible for what you read on the internet and how you interpret it or let it affect you. Sometimes people forget how to use common sense and sort out good advice from bad advice or to recognize truth from fiction.

I agree with this. However, if someone comes online and is basically saying "MIL said I shouldn't need to gain more than 10 lbs" and is obviously looking for some kind of validation, how can a person possibly say something like "I gained 10 lbs and I was just fine!" without thinking that everyone is different?

If I were to come online and make a specific statement about myself it would only be for the purpose of giving another example or perspective. And I fully know that everyone is different. I also, would expect the OP, having obviously lived on this planet for sometime and been exposed to general society, to also possess the wisdom to realize that everyone is different without having to be told on a message board.

Barneso · September 2009

susanlovestexas:
kimbarnes83:
susanlovestexas:
kimbarnes83:

You are responsible for what you put out onto the internet and sometimes it's important to think about how it might affect others.

I didn't see the post you're referring to and I am not arguing with the point you are making, but I just wanted to add that you are also responsible for what you read on the internet and how you interpret it or let it affect you. Sometimes people forget how to use common sense and sort out good advice from bad advice or to recognize truth from fiction.

I agree with this. However, if someone comes online and is basically saying "MIL said I shouldn't need to gain more than 10 lbs" and is obviously looking for some kind of validation, how can a person possibly say something like "I gained 10 lbs and I was just fine!" without thinking that everyone is different?

If I were to come online and make a specific statement about myself it would only be for the purpose of giving another example or perspective. And I fully know that everyone is different. I also, would expect the OP, having obviously lived on this planet for sometime and been exposed to general society, to also possess the wisdom to realize that everyone is different without having to be told on a message board.

What got me thinking about this was the fact that she was upset enough to actually remove the posting. You don't know if the person on the other end of the computer is A) Dumb, Even Receiving Prenatal Care or C) Irrational at the Moment.

mooeta · September 2009

We can't be responsible for stupid. If someone reads something on the internet and believes it instead of talking to their doctor they are stupid and we're not responsible for that.

susanlovestexas · September 2009

Like I said, I didn't even read the post. I don't really care either way. I just like to debate and there was an obvious and easy rebuttal path, so I took it...mostly because I am bored. Though tempted to continue, I will refrain. Smile

Barneso · September 2009

mooeta:
We can't be responsible for stupid. If someone reads something on the internet and believes it instead of talking to their doctor they are stupid and we're not responsible for that.

That's an irresponsible attitude to take.

susanlovestexas · September 2009

mooeta:
We can't be responsible for stupid. If someone reads something on the internet and believes it instead of talking to their doctor they are stupid and we're not responsible for that.

Yes Exactly!

IrishBrideND · September 2009

kimbarnes83:

mooeta:
We can't be responsible for stupid. If someone reads something on the internet and believes it instead of talking to their doctor they are stupid and we're not responsible for that.

That's an irresponsible attitude to take.

I still fail to see what was bad. No one said "I gained 10 pounds and was healthy, so thats how much you should gain." Did they? They simply said "I only gained X and it was the healthy amount for me, so your MIL shouldn't have been called out as unhealthy just because thats how much she gained."

Barneso · September 2009

And at this point, the debate comes down to one of two stances.

Choose to believe "Every Man for Himself," and not to feel any level of responsibility to make sure that the dumb or irrational are informed....

Choose to think that message board, or not, You should provide those who are seeking answers or validations with "all" of the facts.

ecoppins · September 2009

loregopar:
kimbarnes83:
susanlovestexas:
kimbarnes83:

You are responsible for what you put out onto the internet and sometimes it's important to think about how it might affect others.
I didn't see the post you're referring to and I am not arguing with the point you are making, but I just wanted to add that you are also responsible for what you read on the internet and how you interpret it or let it affect you. Sometimes people forget how to use common sense and sort out good advice from bad advice or to recognize truth from fiction.
I agree with this. However, if someone comes online and is basically saying "MIL said I shouldn't need to gain more than 10 lbs" and is obviously looking for some kind of validation, how can a person possibly say something like "I gained 10 lbs and I was just fine!" without thinking that everyone is different?
Is that what she was looking for, validation for her weight gain? I seriously don't know, maybe she can come back and tell us!
It seems to me that she was fine with her weight, just tired of MIL saying constantly that she should watch it.

This is what i assumed too, based on how she described it. I didn't see the original post or the responses. i too might have snapped at my mil if she had said "you need to watch it"

Yes she was rude to her mil, who was also being rude to her. I might have snapped at my mil if I weren't pg and she said something like that to me as well. If it were a stranger I might have clocked them.

Barneso · September 2009

IrishBrideND:
kimbarnes83:

mooeta:
We can't be responsible for stupid. If someone reads something on the internet and believes it instead of talking to their doctor they are stupid and we're not responsible for that.

That's an irresponsible attitude to take.

I still fail to see what was bad. No one said "I gained 10 pounds and was healthy, so thats how much you should gain." Did they? They simply said "I only gained X and it was the healthy amount for me, so your MIL shouldn't have been called out as unhealthy just because thats how much she gained."

Actually, neither of those things were stated. It's a shame that it was deleted so we don't have the poster's responses to the post.

loregopar · September 2009

kimbarnes83:
And at this point, the debate comes down to one of two stances.

Choose to believe "Every Man for Himself," and not to feel any level of responsibility to make sure that the dumb or irrational are informed....

Choose to think that message board, or not, You should provide those who are seeking answers or validations with "all" of the facts.

wow, now you're calling her dumb and/or irrational!! You obviously know the OP better than we do. Make sure she gets the right info, then.

susanlovestexas · September 2009

kimbarnes83:

And at this point, the debate comes down to one of two stances.

Choose to believe "Every Man for Himself," and not to feel any level of responsibility to make sure that the dumb or irrational are informed....

Choose to think that message board, or not, You should provide those who are seeking answers or validations with "all" of the facts.

(I tried to quit, but I couldn't resist)

So, according to your philosophy, was I supposed to assume that you might in fact be "dumb or irrational" and never have disagreed with you online at the risk of harming your fragile little mind? Because it sounds like you expect everyone to type on eggshells just in case a reader lacks the brain power to handle controversy or opinion.

IrishBrideND · September 2009

kimbarnes83:
IrishBrideND:
kimbarnes83:

mooeta:
We can't be responsible for stupid. If someone reads something on the internet and believes it instead of talking to their doctor they are stupid and we're not responsible for that.

That's an irresponsible attitude to take.

I still fail to see what was bad. No one said "I gained 10 pounds and was healthy, so thats how much you should gain." Did they? They simply said "I only gained X and it was the healthy amount for me, so your MIL shouldn't have been called out as unhealthy just because thats how much she gained."

Actually, neither of those things were stated. It's a shame that it was deleted so we don't have the poster's responses to the post.

It was my really basic summary based on what I remembered. Thank you for confirming that the first one was never said. Thats my point.

anhella · September 2009

kimbarnes83:
mooeta:
We can't be responsible for stupid. If someone reads something on the internet and believes it instead of talking to their doctor they are stupid and we're not responsible for that.

That's an irresponsible attitude to take.

Hardly. This is not a medical website. It is not my responsibility to make sure someone is receiving prenatal care, or talking to their doctor. That is their responsibility.

Barneso · September 2009

susanlovestexas:
kimbarnes83:

And at this point, the debate comes down to one of two stances.

Choose to believe "Every Man for Himself," and not to feel any level of responsibility to make sure that the dumb or irrational are informed....

Choose to think that message board, or not, You should provide those who are seeking answers or validations with "all" of the facts.

(I tried to quit, but I couldn't resist)

So, according to your philosophy, was I supposed to assume that you might in fact be "dumb or irrational" and never have disagreed with you online at the risk of harming your fragile little mind? Because it sounds like you expect everyone to type on eggshells just in case a reader lacks the brain power to handle controversy or opinion.

LOL. Nice point. I think I stated in a post (a few posts back) that I feel it's incredibly important to make sure to give the facts when it comes to something that could be potentially harmful to the pregnancy. Things like... "Weight Gain," "Is a Glass of Wine a Day Ok?," "What do you think about warm baths?"

Barneso · September 2009

IrishBrideND:
kimbarnes83:
IrishBrideND:
kimbarnes83:

mooeta:
We can't be responsible for stupid. If someone reads something on the internet and believes it instead of talking to their doctor they are stupid and we're not responsible for that.

That's an irresponsible attitude to take.

I still fail to see what was bad. No one said "I gained 10 pounds and was healthy, so thats how much you should gain." Did they? They simply said "I only gained X and it was the healthy amount for me, so your MIL shouldn't have been called out as unhealthy just because thats how much she gained."

Actually, neither of those things were stated. It's a shame that it was deleted so we don't have the poster's responses to the post.

It was my really basic summary based on what I remembered. Thank you for confirming that the first one was never said. Thats my point.

What I meant was that neither of those statements were made, verbatim.

Barneso · September 2009

anhella:
kimbarnes83:

mooeta:
We can't be responsible for stupid. If someone reads something on the internet and believes it instead of talking to their doctor they are stupid and we're not responsible for that.

That's an irresponsible attitude to take.

Hardly. This is not a medical website. It is not my responsibility to make sure someone is receiving prenatal care, or talking to their doctor. That is their responsibility.

Okay, so we have 1 for "Every Man for Himself..."

Barneso · September 2009

Have to get on with my day. This was fun, though.

TTFN.

IrishBrideND · September 2009

kimbarnes83:
IrishBrideND:
kimbarnes83:
IrishBrideND:
kimbarnes83:

mooeta:
We can't be responsible for stupid. If someone reads something on the internet and believes it instead of talking to their doctor they are stupid and we're not responsible for that.

That's an irresponsible attitude to take.

I still fail to see what was bad. No one said "I gained 10 pounds and was healthy, so thats how much you should gain." Did they? They simply said "I only gained X and it was the healthy amount for me, so your MIL shouldn't have been called out as unhealthy just because thats how much she gained."

Actually, neither of those things were stated. It's a shame that it was deleted so we don't have the poster's responses to the post.

It was my really basic summary based on what I remembered. Thank you for confirming that the first one was never said. Thats my point.

What I meant was that neither of those statements were made, verbatim.

Again, I realize that. How would I be able to quote someone verbatium if it was DDed?

jenny1980 · September 2009

Why the continued insistence on misunderstanding what everyone wrote? You are coming across as incredibly bullheaded and misinformed.

No one said "Gaining 10-15 lbs is right for you. Shoot for that. NO. ONE.

People merely said that telling her MIL that she was irresponsible to only gain that much was rude and incorrect.

The overall message was a HEALTHY one for the OP: that you should gain what YOUR body needs in pregnancy. Period.

madeleines_mommy · September 2009

WOW

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