My birth story

August was born on September 14th @ 2:45pm. He weighed 8lbs 15oz and was 20 1/2" long. We were induced Friday evening (9/11) because the midwife was afraid I was starting to get preeclampsia and with that my blood pressure was getting high. We started off with pitocin to get thing going with my cervix with was dialated to 2cm and 85% effaced, but every person that checked me after that had a different opinion about how dialated or effaced that I was. Saturday they stopped the pitocin because it hadn't change my cervix and started me on the cervidil. Sunday early early morning they removed the cervidil and even though I was having contractions with both the pitocin and cervidil, neither had been changing my cervix and my blood pressure was getting higher. The nurse came in about every hour from about 2am until about 7am checking on me and the baby... his heartbeat monitor wasn't showing any accelerations or declines so they were worried about him now. They told me that if things didn't get better in an hour (every hour they told me this) that I was going to have to have a c-section. Since they had had me on pitocin and then the cervidil, I wasn't able to eat anything since lunch Saturday, so I told them that he moves around a lot after I eat and that was probably why he wasn't accelerating so then they decided to bring in some glucose saline to add to my drip. After that they weren't really worried about the baby. His heartrate would accelerate as it needed too. Sunday morning they started me on the pitocin again. The cervidil had softened my cervix more so they were hoping the pitocin would work this time. Then around 2pm the Dr came in and decided that she wanted to break my water to make my body start working on this labor, since once again, the pitocin wasn't doing too much for me. After they broke my water, I started having stronger contractions. That night the contractions were so strong and all in my back. I was squating on the toilet, on the birthing ball, on the stool... in the bed.. anything I could do that would seem like baby would push down more (he was still up a ways which was part of the problem). Eventually the midwife came in and talked to Matt about me getting an epidural, which I was SOO against, but she thought that would be the only way to get me to relax (even though I was trying my VERY best to breath through everything). They gave me something to relax through my IV which only works for like 45 minutes I think she said... but it was soo nice to have that break, so the second round of that relaxation stuff I decided I needed the Epi. I would rather have had the epidural to calm me so the things that I needed my body to do would happen than to have a c-section.
Sadly I think the epi. was great. LOL Monday morning I turned the epi up more and more (they had turned it down to make sure that the baby was ok through the night and actually had turned off the pitocin.) The Dr. came in and talked to me about it being possible that I would need a c-section... I was at 6cm but hadn't progressed through the night. They turned the pitocin back on and it is quite foggy after that. Between Doctors coming in to check on me, the nurses, and everything else going on... I don't really remember too much untill around 1pm... 1 pm is when the contractions were so strong and I guess they had turned down the epidural so they were sure I was feeling the contractions. They had also started me on Magnesium drip for my heart rate and another med for my heart rate. So not only could I not eat, but I couldn't drink because of the meds. At around 1pm, I told the Dr. that I felt like I needed to push.. a little anyways.. and she told me not to. So I tried not to and then decided that she could screw off because if my body was automatically pushing, there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it. On and on and on she kept telling me that if things didn't progress I was going to have to have a c-sec so I think I was just so determined not to have one that I just let loose. I started thinking about how I needed to keep myself calm, and how when I would take the deepest breath that I could, it would make the contraction seem shorter and not as bad. Matt and my sister went out to get one of the nurses after the Dr. left the room and told her that I was feeling the need to push... she came in and checked my cervix and told me that if I needed to push, that I was ready! I think she was an angel in disguise! The Dr came in and pretty much asked her what she was doing, and the nurse told her I was ready.. so then the dr. checked me and said she thought I should wait to push! So I started pushing! And... after 90 minutes, out popped August's head with his fist beside it. I didn't think this labor would ever end! But, I am so grateful that I didn't have a c-section. They took what seemed like an hour to stitch my tears up and for what they supposedly numbed, I pretty much felt every stitch and the Dr was surprised but never tried to give me more numbing stuff. After that I felt soooooo exhausted. Even while the nurse was talking to me I fell asleep. About 10 minutes after that everyone realized I was hemorrhaging. It was just seconds and there were 8 doctors in the room..and the anesthesiologist was running the show. He gave me a SUPER strong dose of my epi and was trying to find a spot for a second IV in my other arm. After checking my eyes, and everyone pushing on my stomach and being poked over and over, I could hear everyone talking about a blood transfusion. Matt looked SOOO worried.. I felt bad. I wasn't as worried.. I was so mad that I couldn't even hold my baby yet. They had placed him on my chest and that was all that I got to hold him up to that point! Julie was taking care of him though and loving him which made me feel sooo much better.
I guess they decided not to give me an IV, and not to give me a transfusion. After all that, I fell asleep for a bit. FINALLY! IT WAS ALL OVER! The whole thing was like a comedy of errors! Except it wasn't funny! I still can't believe that I was able to get through all of that with out any freaking out! I hate not knowing what is going on or what is going to happen!

Through this whole mess, I was honestly starting to feel resentment towards the baby which is terrible but it was so natural. I was so afraid I wouldn't bond with him and so devastated for having to miss the euphoria at the end of the birth with my baby. Tuesday, I spent a lot of time with the baby. Matt had left a couple of times to run home for something and I felt SUPER attached to August. Monday night at 3am we sent August to the nursery... I was so exhausted and Matt couldn't seem to console him enough and needed some rest. They brought him back to us at 7am. Tuesday night Matt thought we should do it again... I told him I didn't want to but decided that I would leave it up to him. As soon as they rolled August out of the room I completely lost it! I was bawling so much I couldn't even talk to Matt so he called and had them bring August back. After they brought him back, I snatched him up and put him in bed with me where he slept for most of the night.. and is still sleeping in bed with me! The very thing I didn't want to do, and now I can't stop bringing him to bed with me! LOL Oops.

Now that I wrote this I probably won't think too much about this event again.. other than the days following the labor. Strangely enough, everyone is right about how you forget about the bad stuff. It took a while for me to remember all of this stuff and I am sure that there are things I forgot. But, in the end, it was all worth it! August is amazing!  And, I already can't imagine how I ever lived without him!