Another unmedicated VBAC story

I haven't been on these boards in years, but I'm hoping my story of a completely drug-free VBAC of my 8lbs, 11oz, 14-inch headed daughter with no cut or tearing will be at least a little inspiring to anyone attempting VBAC and/or unmedicated birth.  Keep in mind that I'm 5'2" and 120lbs on a good day, so this is really possible for many body types. 

If there is one peice of advice from my experience, it is this: get a doula if you can.  I don't think I could have done it without her and I'm SO glad I did.

Here's the whole long story (okay, both stories, so that you can see what happened the first time vs. this):

My son?s birth in 2007 was a very typical hospital birth.  If I knew then what I know now, there is no way I would have walked into a hospital without a doula.  I truly believe that with a doula?s support (and even better a midwife as well but that wasn?t an option at the time) I would not have had my c-section.  I went in to the hospital at 2cm dilated and labored for about 8 hours before I opted for the epidural at around 6cm.  At the time it was great and I?m not sure that I wouldn?t have gotten one even with a doula, but I still think things could have been done differently towards the end.  The recorded reason for my c-section with my son was ?failure to progress.?  I was 8.5cm for about two hours (probably slowed by the epidural).  In hindsight, that doesn?t seem like failure to me.  I think if I had a doula I would have opted to have the epidural turned off and maybe some Pitocin to give me a chance to finish dilating before going in for the c-section but these options weren?t presented to me.  Keep in mind that there were never signs of distress or reason to believe that my son was in any trouble through this.  My son was 9lbs, 14oz ? big to be sure!  However, his head was only half an inch bigger than my daughter?s, which leads me to believe that with the right support, I could very well have delivered him vaginally.  The difference in recovery for both me and the baby has been stark, even with a complication (I?ll say more below).  I struggled so much to breastfeed him ? he was sleepy (drugged), my supply was slow to ramp up, and by the time it came in we were already supplementing with formula, further hurting my supply.  I still managed to breastfeed him for a year, but not without constant pumping and supplementing.  I couldn?t lift him for 6 weeks or walk for several days.  All in all, vaginal recovery has been MUCH better for me.

This birth was way different.  I had the support of both a doula and a midwife, but still gave birth in the same hospital.  The support made all the difference this time.
As is typical for second births, I was already 4cm dilated when I went into labor around 1am Saturday.  My baby girl was late to arrive, so we had an induction scheduled for Monday that I was really dreading ? awesome timing baby girl!! 
When I got to the hospital, the doula was waiting for me.  I got checked in and resumed walking the halls for about two hours.  The contractions were getting pretty rough, so we decided to try the jetted tub.  I had tried this with my son as well, but didn?t realize at the time that the water was just too hot, so it wasn?t relaxing at all!  This time the temp was perfect, lights were off, candles flickered, and it really helped me work through contractions.  I was in and out of the tub throughout labor (and even took a little nap in it towards the end ? supervised of course).  What helped me through the contractions, besides the jet tub, was the constant encouragement that every contraction got me closer to the goal, counter pressure on my hips, massage, and low moaning ? all with the help of my husband, a couple of friends, and the doula.  I?ll admit that there were times that a needle in my spine sounded like a great idea, but I kept reminding myself that the drugs don?t help my baby, could slow me down, and in the end it?s about what is best for her.  And really, the pain was intense, but manageable for me.  After each contraction I told myself ?okay ? I got through that one and I?ll never see it again? I can do it with the next one, too.?

At about 11am I got the great news that I was 8.5cm dilated ? right where I had gotten "stuck" with my son!  I knew that I had done it and now it was only a matter of time before she came into the world.  It made all the previous hours worth it and gave me just the push I needed to make it to the end without drugs.  I got out of the tub and started discussing pushing positions, trying different things out during contractions to see what might work.  These contractions were definitely the hardest, but I felt so determined now to make it to the end.  My husband was great during this, holding me up in a standing position, or holding my hands across the bed supporting me through these harder contractions.  About an hour later I started getting the urge to push.  Several people had told me that pushing actually felt GOOD, and they were right!  Even then, when I was 9.5cm and not pushing hard enough to swell the cervix or really move the baby much, the simple act of being involved with my body felt really really good ? so good that I literally no longer felt the contractions at all.  Seriously.
At this point I was sitting up on the bed holding on to a support bar.  I had hoped to push squatting, but I was just too exhausted.  The midwife could tell, and helped me lay back onto the bed, prop my feet up on the bar, and wrapped a sheet around the support bar for me to pull up on and curl my body into a good pushing position.  Think of an ?n? shaped bar over the bed, with feet on the vertical parts and a sheet extending from the horizontal to my hands allowing me to maintain a sort of laying down squat and pull up on the sheet to curl into the pushes.  This worked really well for me and allowed me to lay back and rest between pushes. 
At about noon I was 10cm and really starting to push with everything I had.  This part was amazing!! I could feel her moving down the canal with every push (which again did NOT hurt), and I found so much strength from a place I never knew existed.  I never pegged myself for a screamer, but this loud primal noise kept escaping from my throat with every push ? I absolutely could not help it.  It wasn?t out of pain, though, just sheet determination.  The midwife brought a mirror to help me see my progress.  This might not be for everyone, but it was so awesome for me to see her coming down, and see her dark hair for the first time.  Seeing my progress was a little scary (nobody really wants to see their body look like that) but it also gave me extra energy to see that this was really happening!  This was the point of no return and I needed to give it everything I had.  I also reached down a few times and felt her head, which again isn?t for everyone, but really helped me connect with what she and I were doing.
The part that scared me the most before labor was the crowning and the ?ring of fire? as her head came out.  But again, this was not *nearly* as bad as I thought it would be.  There was just so much energy going into the task at hand that the pain was really an afterthought.  It lasted maybe a minute and for me truly no worse than sex in need of a little more lube.  And keep in mind she had a 14inch head!  We just went slowly enough to allow my body to stretch ? this was the one time the midwife asked me to hold back a little and I think it helped tremendously as I had no tearing at all. 
I pushed for an hour, which felt like forever but I?m told really wasn?t long for a first-time pusher.  The amazing feeling when her head was out, and then her shoulders, and then my gorgeous baby girl was laying on my chest is really without description.  I was so proud of what she and I had accomplished and amazed that I did something I never thought possible.  If we have more children,  I?ll do it exactly the same again!  From the very start she was alert, rooting, looking around, everything she should be doing and my son didn't - I saw the difference in her immediately.       

One thing I won?t leave out is that I did lose a lot of blood and had trouble staying conscious a little while after the birth.  Girls my size aren?t entirely meant to have such big babies.  I didn?t need a transfusion, but it is making my recovery take a little longer.  Still, no where near as bad as it was for me with the c-section so it?s still totally, 100% worth it.

Good luck to anyone attempting VBAC and/or natural birth!!!