I am not a wealthy women by any stretch of the imagination, DH and I do OK we pay our bills have a little bit in savings retirement etc and pretty much are able to spoil DS within reason.
We do not own a home we live in an apt and I expect we will the rest of our lives or as long as we are living in Northern Virginia. I HATE living in an apt, I hate it even more with a child.
Keeping it clean is a daily thing since DS was born due to close quarters, listening to the jacka$$ fight with his girlfriend on a almost daily basis is starting to get to me. Not to mention his marathon guitar hero sessions that I have called the police about at 2am on more than one ocassion.
I want to be a SAHM I couls seriously rant on and on about how I have not adjusted to DS being in daycare. I know some women love returning to work after they have babies, I am NOT one of them I feel my job is to be at home with DS being a mom and wife. DH agrees with me which makes things harder because he feels poorly about the fact that his salary cannot fully support us alone.
Now I knew what I was getting into when I married DH he works in the schools, he does not make six figures (never will) he is overworked underpaid and tired at the end of the day. But he LOVES his job, is happy to go to it and the benefits are phenomenal (hello 90% IVF coverage)
I am grateful for what I have and that I have a husband who loves the hell out of me, but every once in a while I wish we had more. Not a lot just a little bit so we could buy a house I could be full time mommy.
Last night we decided that we aren't even going to think about another baby til DS is in school because we can't afford two children in daycare, that to me is a long time to wait!
No point to this other than I needed to rant a little bit.....if you got this far and have any advice on how to cope I will take it to heart because I am not feeling so peaceful today about how things are.
Re: There are times I wish I had expendable income
Ranting is good (and cheap) therapy! Hang in there!
You're not alone. We also need two incomes. DH and I both work in higher ed and are considered state employees -- and state employees in Indiana aren't getting raises for the next year or two due to the recession.
We want a second child someday and we have six frozen embryos, but like you, the cost of daycare willl keep us from even considering it for awhile.
Ugh. But my outlook is that I'd rather have all of these situations than not have DD at all. So remembering that usually helps me when I have bad days! And it's Friday -- two days at home with LO!
Boo. that stinks.. but your son is lucky to have parents who LOVE him more than anything in the world!
(((hugs)))
We just bought our 1st house last summer while pregnant with DD (we're 34). I know how much it sucks to rent - we did it for more than 10 years. Living on Long Island is no different from the metro DC area. Everything, including daycare, is SUPER expensive. If it weren't for my mom, who retired early and watches my kids for free, we would NEVER be able to afford a house. I am so grateful for free childcare.
We both work full time, which I really don't mind doing, but we need 2 incomes to survive, even with free daycare. It's not easy.
Loving your job - or even liking it, is a big deal. I'd hate to wake up every morning dreading my day ahead. It's important to be happy/content.
I think it's totally normal to feel the way you do and it totally sucks that you can't have the lifestyle you long for =(