Anyone see a therapist?

Mike&Care · September 2009

I have been thinking I should go see one. I don't think I'm depressed, because I'm generally happy, but I have been having a ton of issues with older DD and am unsure if I'm handling them correctly - since she continually does stuff to test me. I want to nip it in the bud now, before she becomes an out-of-control teenager. Plus, I've had some dissapointment with career/life in general and I don't want to always vent to DH, since he has a lot more responsibility/stress with his job than I do w/mine.

Anyway, I am wondering if I should choose a male or female? Does it matter? The only thing I don't want is one of those 50+ woman that is always a downer (like Joy on the View, LOL). I need someone positive and upbeat.

erino&chrish · September 2009

I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I would choose a woman. You want someone that knows what it's like to walk in your shoes. Preferrably someone 40ish or so, who's been around the block but isn't too jaded.

I have been thinking about seeing someone. I have this super easy baby that STTN 12 hours, an amazing DH who is super supportive, and work is going well, but I have this general sense of unhappiness a lot and have developed pretty bad insomnia on top of it.

GL! Hopefully your DD is just going through a phase. I know it bothers you-just remember you're a great mom and you are under a lot of stress with work, a new baby, and DD so make sure to give yourself some credit!

Mike&Care · September 2009

erino&chrish:

I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I would choose a woman. You want someone that knows what it's like to walk in your shoes. Preferrably someone 40ish or so, who's been around the block but isn't too jaded.

I have been thinking about seeing someone. I have this super easy baby that STTN 12 hours, an amazing DH who is super supportive, and work is going well, but I have this general sense of unhappiness a lot and have developed pretty bad insomnia on top of it.

GL! Hopefully your DD is just going through a phase. I know it bothers you-just remember you're a great mom and you are under a lot of stress with work, a new baby, and DD so make sure to give yourself some credit!

Thanks E&C! That's my thing too. I have a wonderful hubby, wonderful healthy kids, but just generally unhappy with myself (body, career - 2 layoffs, lack-of-friends in this state, etc.). I am usually the one that all my friends/family vent to, but I never unload on anyone. It's hard to be the "positive upbeat friend" all the time.

VAannie · September 2009

I would also talk with your pedi about your older DD. They're not just there for medical help, they're there for help with your LOs all-around development.

Caroline&Stephen · September 2009

It matters. Definately a woman. I saw a man for anxiety issues & he was terrible. I'm not saying all male tharapists are terrible, but I think a woman (especially one with children) will be able to identify better.

My DD has hearing loss & when I got the news they brought in a therapist to talk to me. Personally, I hated it. I made me feel worse. For me, having girlfriends to talk & cry with has been the best medicine...but everyone is different. I don't really need advice...just an ear & a hug.

GL!

JCM083009 · September 2009

I've seen one while going through infertility and it was the best decision ever! Mine was a female, around my age and I loved her. I don't think it matters who it is as long as you connect and feel comfortable with them. Good luck!

erino&chrish · September 2009

Mike&Care:
erino&chrish:

I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I would choose a woman. You want someone that knows what it's like to walk in your shoes. Preferrably someone 40ish or so, who's been around the block but isn't too jaded.

I have been thinking about seeing someone. I have this super easy baby that STTN 12 hours, an amazing DH who is super supportive, and work is going well, but I have this general sense of unhappiness a lot and have developed pretty bad insomnia on top of it.

GL! Hopefully your DD is just going through a phase. I know it bothers you-just remember you're a great mom and you are under a lot of stress with work, a new baby, and DD so make sure to give yourself some credit!

Thanks E&C! That's my thing too. I have a wonderful hubby, wonderful healthy kids, but just generally unhappy with myself (body, career - 2 layoffs, lack-of-friends in this state, etc.). I am usually the one that all my friends/family vent to, but I never unload on anyone. It's hard to be the "positive upbeat friend" all the time.

Yeah, if you are usually happy and upbeat but now you're unhappy I'd see someone. They say PPD can surface anytime in the first year. Sounds like we're going through the same thing. Do you also feel very overwhelmed by things that used to seem so easy/simple? That's happening to me. I hope you feel better and that therapy helps!

roxyrlh · September 2009

I wouldn't cross the 50 y/o therapist off my list just yet ! You would be surprised how many of these woman, not only study but have years of experience with child development, birth order and family therapy.... Keep an open mind in the beginning and know that you can always change should the relationship not work.

I always allow my clients to have an open door, should our fit not be right for them, at any time in the process.

Mike&Care · September 2009

roxyrlh:

I wouldn't cross the 50 y/o therapist off my list just yet ! You would be surprised how many of these woman, not only study but have years of experience with child development, birth order and family therapy.... Keep an open mind in the beginning and know that you can always change should the relationship not work.

I always allow my clients to have an open door, should our fit not be right for them, at any time in the process.

I didn't really mean the age. It just seems that all the woman I know in that age group are very bitter about life (mom, grandma, MIL, aunts, friends moms). It's exhausting listening to my mom vent, I don't want that in a counselor.

TimsMayBride · September 2009

Mike&Care:

The only thing I don't want is one of those 50+ woman that is always a downer (like Joy on the View, LOL).

Sorry but that made me LOL. The only experience I had with a therapist was one my parents made me see in high school because they caught me drinking and smoking. The therapist was in her mid-50's and a total downer - she smoked, and basically told me it was okay and just don't get caught. Great choice mom and dad!

Anyways, I think if I could afford it I might see one now, too. Being a new mom is very overwhelming and it's been a difficult adjustment. Sometimes I wish I had someone objective to help me sort through my feelings. If I were you, I'd definitely want to see a woman - I just don't know how a man could understand.

Mike&Care · September 2009

TimsMayBride:
Mike&Care:

The only thing I don't want is one of those 50+ woman that is always a downer (like Joy on the View, LOL).

Sorry but that made me LOL. The only experience I had with a therapist was one my parents made me see in high school because they caught me drinking and smoking. The therapist was in her mid-50's and a total downer - she smoked, and basically told me it was okay and just don't get caught. Great choice mom and dad!

Anyways, I think if I could afford it I might see one now, too. Being a new mom is very overwhelming and it's been a difficult adjustment. Sometimes I wish I had someone objective to help me sort through my feelings. If I were you, I'd definitely want to see a woman - I just don't know how a man could understand.

Have you tried calling your insurance and seeing what your coverage is? I didn't know what mine was till I called. I get the first 8 sessions free, then a copay for every session after that.

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