a little bummed...DH acting strange??

MamaMandaW · September 2009

i don't even know how to explain it.. i just don't feel like my DH is into this pregnancy like he was last time.. this one was actually planned too!! he seems really disconnected and stressed and never asks me how i'm doing or does anything for me with out my asking several times.. unlike last time he was very excited that we were having a baby and always rubbing my belly and making sure i don't lift heavy stuff and doing/saying things like-- "don't worry just relax i'll do it"

do you know what i mean? i'm not saying that i want him to be my slave.. it's just that i'm worried that he isn't excited about this one and it's really making me upset. and whenever i mention it, kinda like "are you excited/happy that this baby is coming?" he always answers with a "of course, why wouldn't i be?"

is this normal? especially for a 2nd baby? to not be as excited and upbeat about it all? i don't want to push it or bother him about it because i don't think it'll do any good..

thanks ya'll for any advice or thoughts!

TMs1stBaby · September 2009

Sounds pretty normal to me. I'd say with my second even I was less excited and somewhat less cautious - meaning that I didn't baby myself quite so much. My husband definitely just followed suit. Do you think you are acting any different this time around, maybe he is picking up on that and not feeling the need to coddle as much? Just a thought.

MamaMandaW · September 2009

TMs1stBaby:
Sounds pretty normal to me. I'd say with my second even I was less excited and somewhat less cautious - meaning that I didn't baby myself quite so much. My husband definitely just followed suit. Do you think you are acting any different this time around, maybe he is picking up on that and not feeling the need to coddle as much? Just a thought.

That might be something. I am a high risk pregnant person due to epilepsy. So with my last pregnancy it was really scary because I have a higher risk of birth defects from the medication I take.. but everything turned out fine and our son is as healthy as can be.. so maybe I am less cautious and not as "scared" as last time because I know what to expect and feel more comfortable being pregnant knowing that the results can be (and so far are) very good and healthy....

caremore37 · September 2009

I'm dealing with much the same thing. I think it's probably normal... it's something they've experienced before, so it's not a ground breaking experience (although this IS the only time you'll be pg with your 2nd child!!). Plus, we know we're having another girl... he says he's happy, but I have a feeling he'd be different if it was a boy. But then again... that'd be something new and different, so we're back to that. Add to that the fact that his family was unbelievably (and really rudely, IMO) disappointed that this baby was a girl, so I think he's feeling some of that as well.

DH IS concerned when it seems as if something's wrong, though... so I know he's invested. I also think it doesn't help that he works a different shift. I'm up all day w/ DD, and he works 3rd shift, so we don't have many of those 'wake up and cuddle' times which used to be a great opportunity for him to bond w/ DD before she arrived.

(((HUGS))) I'm sure once the baby gets here, he'll be just as in love as with your first!!

stina-bear · September 2009

I think this is something you should sit down and talk with your husband about. Instead of asking blanket questions like "are you excited" (come on, what else is he going to say in response?), I'd tell him about concrete desires and hopes. And I'd also ask him about why he's stressed -- could it be that that's the way his excitement about the baby is manifesting this time? In him wanting to work hard to provide for a second child?

I have no idea what's going on with your DH -- I'm just a random girl on the internet. Talk to him and get your concerns and hopes out in the open.

Battlebaby09 · September 2009

My husband is sometimes on sometimes off. He was so excited with the first pregnancy, but now he ho hum about this one. He is excited about when the baby gets here, but not soooo hands on. I think it is normal. Maybe your husband is worried about the normal man stuff.... providing, still having time with you, having enough time for his kids, time for himself, enough room and so on..... Good luck sweetheart

MamaMandaW · September 2009

Thanks everyone..

I think (well i know) one of the top reasons that he is stressed is because finances are really tight right now..

basically this is the low down since i got pregnant..

we were planning our wedding and talking about TTC asap after the wedding.. we ended up being not as careful and concieved before the wedding! i was 9 weeks pg during our wedding.. and 10 weeks on our honeymoon...

during all this time we were being super annoyed with our landlord and trying to buy a house.. in the mean time we decided to move out of our house and into an apartment so that we can save more for our house hopefully in the next year...

so we've been married, honeymooned and packed, moved, unpacking and short of cash.....

maybe after we get all settled and caught up on some bills the stress will be lowered..........

ohhhhhhhhh man..

i guess it'll all work out

Mrs.Wifey318 · September 2009

If he is stressed that could explain things. DH has said it is hard for him because he isn't getting to experience DD moving or kicking yet. So far he is just support and he doesn't feel super connected yet.

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