Hello ladies. It's that time again.
My confession this week is that DH and I are actively TTC and I'm not sure I'm totally ready. I really really want a BFP this month. But when I'm laying in bed at night trying to fall asleep I wonder WTH I'm thinking and why I would take the chance of putting us through another m/c.
Re: ~Tuesday Confessions~
I think everything you're feeling and thinking is completely normal. ?Hang in there and GL!
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My confession:
I have a feeling it'll be incredibly difficult for dh and I to wait to ttc again once given the go ahead to have sex. ?Since we had a c-section with Katie Jane we have to wait longer to ttc. ?It'll be hard. ?
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Let's see.
I fear the waiting to actually m/c or have the D&C or whatever is lulling me into believing that we will be okay when it actually happens. In turn, that makes me think we will have a huge crash when it does.
Waiting for confirmation of mc. New emotion every minute but right now feeling somewhat relieved and just waiting for the natural process to begin. I knew something was wrong from the get go. I know that is selfish and seems wrong but I was truly not ready for another munchkin.
I know everything happens for a reason and I am so grateful but for many reasons that I will not get into it was truly not the right time, I guess my body also sensed that - I KNOW there is never a right time and I must sound horrible right now but you asked for my Tuesday confession...
I'm so angry and wish someone would say something stupid to me so I could just go off on them. I think I need to scream and punch.
Avery Corinne - Born 7/9/10 at 37w2d
I have often times felt the same. Yesterday two thungs drove by and yelled "nice ass!" I yelled back... I told them to f-off - and that's not even my confession!
Confession: I started drinking some red wine at 11:24am. ugghhh, who cares! Cheers!
I considered opening a beer this morning while working (work from home). Don't feel bad.
Avery Corinne - Born 7/9/10 at 37w2d
Yesterday on the el I looked up and saw a girl who was pregant-not hugely, but obviously showing and I couldn't bring myself to stand up and offer her my seat. Normally I'd jump up and do it but I was too bitter. I feel like such an a**.
and for what its worth I'd totally take a beer right now even though I'm at work!
I don't know why or how to fully explain it...but I never felt comfortable or connected to my pregnancy. Ecstatic and elated...hell yes. But never comfortable with it. I think it was perhaps my was of protecting myself from what was to come. I have so much guilt over this.
APS, hetero factor v leiden & MTHFR
bfp #1 - 12.11.07, edd 8.14.08, mm/c 1.21.08 (10w4d)
bfp #2 - 4.4.08, edd 12.3.08, mm/c 5.14.08 (11w)
bfp #3 - 8.3.08, edd 4.15.09, mm/c 9.17.08 (10w)
bfp #4 - 1.15.09, edd 9.26.09, mm/c 2.16.09 (8w2d)
bfp #5 - 6.16.09, edd 2.25.10, mm/c 7.23.09 (9w)
bfp #6 - 8.12.10, edd 4.27.11, mm/c 9.16.10 (8w1d)
one more try -> bfp #7 - 2.11, our miracle baby boy arrived 10.11
ttc again -> bfp #8 - 5.3.13, edd 1.13.14, mm/c 5.30.13 (7w3d)