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Indiana Babies
lemen99
member
Poll
lemen99
member
Would you let one of your grandparents babysit LO?
I know my grandparents (so Andrew's great-grandma's) are dying to help babysit. They keep offering - especially now that our nanny is sick. My mom is with him, and clearly knows that we're not okay with this. We blame it on all of his medicines (a lot to keep track of - no room for forgetfulness or confusino)...but in all honesty, they are getting so forgetful that I don't think I'd be comfortable with it period.
Just wondering if I'm the only one? It's not something I'm willing to budge on, but I still feel bad.
My grandparents are in their late 70's - get along fine, but definitely are getting forgetful. I remember my grandma babysat my sibligns for my parents probably 10 years ago and completely forgot she was making hard-boiled eggs on the stove and there have been several bad incidents when she was there. Not to mention she can't even remember basic things anymore like how to spell my name. My other grandma is better, but still.
Also I don't think they remember how much work a newborn is, even though they both had 4 kids.
Also, my one grandma (the more forgetful one) is SUPER stubborn and outspoken. We would not agree on certain things and ways of doing things. She about had a fit when I told her what the bumbo chair was..."We didn't have bumbo chairs when our kids are little and they are just fine!" or if Andrew isn't wear socks. (I intentionally have him barefoot when she comes over to antagonize...lol)
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Re: Poll
My mom's parents-Yes. They are very active and both are pretty sharp. They travel all.the.time. I would probably allow them for 4 hours or so max.
My dad's mom-Not a chance. She walks with a walker, has vision problems, subject to dizzy/fainting spells...and the list goes on. She probably would never dream of offering because she knows her limitations. Her mind is sharp, it's her body that's failing her.
ETA: In your case, I totally see your hesitation. If I had a child that was on a lot of medications, it would give me pause to let my mom's parents babysit my child, even though they are 'with it'. It's still a lot to take on even then.
No way, neither one of them (I have one set and Larry has one set that are still living).
Both sets are very active, but we can barely keep up with her, our grandparents wouldn't be able to handle it.
In your case, I'd just make an extra effort for them to see A often, so they get lots of time with him. I think the older we get, the more we value our time and families, and I'm sure they are just trying to see him as much as possible.
This isn't something that would likely ever happen for us. Abe only has one grandparent that is still living (
) and my two sets of grandparents both live pretty far away.
I would consider letting Abe's grandma watch an older child for us, but not an infant. I think I would let her if they were 3+ years old. That seems unreasonable but she does things drastically different than we would and I wouldn't be comfortable with her keeping a very young child for us.
I would, without hesitation, allow my paternal grandparents watch our children. At any age. My grandma had 12 children and helped to raise many of my cousins and my cousin's babies
She is a wise, wise woman and I think the Amish do things quite similarly to how Abe and I plan on raising our children. Mommy and Dawdy would do a great job!
I would not allow my maternal grandma and grandpa watch our children. Grandma had a brain tumor removed a little over a year ago and though she has improved physically and mentally since then, I wouldn't feel comfortable. I just wouldn't trust grandpa with a baby because, as much as I love him, he is just a goon. So forgetful and sometimes thoughtless.
n/a for me because my grandparents have passed away ... Michael has one grandma left and I would not let her babysit a newborn. She's OK with older kids (Michael's aunt & her kids actually live with her) but she wouldn't be ok with a newborn and she would probably admit it.
In your situation, I definitely see your hesitation & I would not let them babysit either. Sounds like it may lead to tension & disagreements, but I would stand up for what you believe. It would be so horrible if something bad happened & it was a result of your grandparents.
DH's only living grandmother, no. She's 93, and a full time caretaker. Visit with my child? Obviously! But only with us there.
My mom's mom, probably not. She's having trouble with day-to-day things, has increasing physical problems, and forgets a lot of short-term things, and I'm pretty sure that it's early-stage Alzheimer's. She's a proud, incredible, and strong woman, and I'll be thrilled if we have children whose lives we can share with her, but I'd spend way more time worrying about both of them than I'd be comfortable with doing.
My dad's mom, sure, IF we had a relatively low-needs child and she wanted to watch non-existent child. I have full faith that she's totally competent and really healthy, but she's also full time caring for my grandfather, and I'd worry about the stress on her of caring for two other people instead of one.
Given the situations you described, and Andrew's particular needs, I'd be saying no too. I hope you can find a way to make things work without hurting anyone!
Mother's Day, 2011
Probably not as a newborn, but to be honest, my grandparents would have no desire to deal with a newborn/infant. They're much too interested in drinking and smoking, so it would have never come up, haha.
My grandma has watched Jackson now that he's older - twice this summer for a few hours. But he's almost 3, and pretty self-sufficient in that he can ask for what he wants and survive on TV and toys for a few hours w/ adult supervision.
My grandparents are great, but they are not kid people, especially not anymore. They were more into kids when they were younger, and we were younger. But now that most of their grandkids are grown, they love spending time w/ us as adults.
My grandparents have passed, but when they were alive - maybe an older child (age 4 or 5 on up). Definitely not a baby (especially one on medications). DH's grandmas - absolutely NOT. One is super opinionated and the other one is SUPER forgetful.
In your situation, I completely agree with you and think you're completely justified in your decision! I like pp's idea of visiting more often so they don't feel like they never get to see A. Maybe that would help?
My mom's parents would, but they are only 72 and have taken care of my cousin's baby with no issue. My grandma doesn't like the "new fangled" stuff but L is almost 1 and doesn't have any special needs that I worry wouldn't be met.
My dad's mom I would not. She is only a few years older than my other grandparents but is far more fragile and I don't think she would follow any instructions I would leave with her. In addition she smoked in the house with her kids and us too. She no longer smokes in the house but I think she would smoke right by L.
DH's only set of grandparents are 80 and 84, I think. I don't know that they'd feel comfortable taking care of L.
DH's 81 year old grandma watches Ellie every Wednesday, and our nephew on Wednesdays and Thursdays. She wanted to watch them and offered, and it lets Ellie bond with her and her cousin. She is in excellent health and still moves around very well. She still works, too. There have only been a few times where we've had "issues", but they are so minor, it doesn't really concern me. One time she used some perfumed powder on Ellie's diaper rash, which of course made it worse. I just let her know that she didn't really need to use powder and gave her some diaper rash cream to keep over at her house. I have noticed a few times being around her that she gets a little confused about small details, but nothing that I wouldn't feel comfortable taking her over there. They both really enjoy seeing each other.