baby shower ettiquette (sp)

texas77 · September 2009

so lets say you are the pg woman and you have certain beliefs about things like pacifiers, botttles and plastic diapers. do you think it's rude to ask people to not buy those items for you? or say nothing and if you get it just return it to the store at a later time.

Marriedandlovingit · September 2009

I think I would register for what I want, so people have an idea. I would just return the things that I don't need/want.

someflower6 · September 2009

i think a pregnant woman should never assume anyone will buy her anything. if she is ASKED what she would like, i think it's perfectly acceptable to include what she wouldn't, ie pacifiers, bottles, etc. but in regards to a shower, i do not think she should volunteer that information (again, unless asked)-- however if her friends/family want to pass on the news, that could be ok, if done correctly.

otherwise, the recipient should graciously accept any gift, and return it afterwards if necessary.

cintim · September 2009

First of all, I wouldn't register for any of those things. If I recieved them as gifts anyway, I would just go return them to the store.

For my SIL's shower last month, she told us what her "necessity" items were and we would relay the message to the guests if we were asked by them.

CanonMom · September 2009

I dont think its rude... I think maybe it should just get around word of mouth. Like tell your mom, and have them pass on the info. Or wheoever is throwing the shower should pass on the info. Im sure the person giving the gift would rather buy you something you want rather than something thrown away or returned.

Mia07 · September 2009

I just registered for what I wanted... specific bottles, etc.

Of course, some ppl still got me random things I wouldn't use but I could return most to the store for store credit.

*Maybe if you have certain things listed... like some cloth diapers, maybe they would get the hint? I'm thinking about trying the BumGenius diapers next time, and I was surprised to see Target carries them online now.

OregonMama · September 2009

It's probably not the correct thing to do but I will probably let the person throwing me the shower know so she can pass the info on. Because I really have no desire to have plastic diapers or pacifiers at all. I will just end up returning them and really, you don't often get gift receipts with diapers and pacifiers. People expect you want them.

priya&peter · September 2009

I agree. Hopefully if she registers for the kind of stuff she wants --say glass bottles or bpa free pacifiers--then people will get those things or at least get the message and stay away from things you wouldn't want. Anything else can always be returned (or in a pinch regifted

JenyM · September 2009

i would probably say nothingand just return the items.

travers081906 · September 2009

NO!!! When we were thinking about what we wanted to reg for =( we were going to write on ours..."

Please no Disney or Pooh! Please make sure you check the registry for gifts and make sure to let the cashier know so that we don?t get double items . Also please accompany gift receipt with item in case we get doubles."

If it's big sorry... I did a copy and paste... didn't feel like rewriting it!

WearingRed · September 2009

JenyM:
i would probably say nothingand just return the items.

this!

momagain2009 · September 2009

I would just return them if they were purchased for me. No need to hurt feelings. Some people are really sensitive to suggestions. Hmm

megjr8 · September 2009

I will let people know my specifics - for example, I'm going to use gdiapers & would rather people buy those than the regular diapers and then I'm stuck with store credit.

MrsMoher · September 2009

OregonMama:
It's probably not the correct thing to do but I will probably let the person throwing me the shower know so she can pass the info on. Because I really have no desire to have plastic diapers or pacifiers at all. I will just end up returning them and really, you don't often get gift receipts with diapers and pacifiers. People expect you want them.

This exactly and to be honest, even if you register for specifics people will get what they want. Especially for someone wanting to CD, the diapers would be a total PITA to return. Personally I don't mind at all if they put something on the directions or bottom or the invite or even the "notes" section of their registry (like BRU has) that says they will cloth diaper or that they will be breastfeeding and won't need diapers/pacis.

I would much rather know that the mom to be gets something she can use and won't have to waddle to the store at 40 weeks to return stuff or worse try to go right after birth when she still feels like poo and don't even get me started on the return policies of the most popular stores for registries! UGGGHH.

But then again I am by no stretch of the imagination Miss Manners.

bostonfingerlakes07 · September 2009

We pretty much just registered for what we wanted and honestly most people really stuck with our registry. The handful of things we got we didn't want or need we just returned. A lot of our friends are older, have kids and knew to do things like include gift receipts. I didn't want to put annoying notes on my registry like "we plan to cloth diaper, please don't buy us Disney".

nicobean1 · September 2009

WearingRed:
JenyM:
i would probably say nothingand just return the items.
this!

I second that!

And I agree with SomeFlower that one should not EXPECT gifts. Are people going to buy them? Yes, but what about the old saying that it's the thought that counts?

nicobean1 · September 2009

softskate31:

I think it is rude to proactively tell people what you don't want b/c it assumes they were going to give you a gift in the first place.

I think it is ok to have a registry of your desired items so that people can choose things that you need if they desire to get you a gift.

If a mom gets items she refuses to use with her child and the store won't take returns - that mom should donate those unwanted items to a family/agency that would be very grateful to have those items even though they aren't the "greenest" options for a baby.

This!

Rosebud26 · September 2009

You have to be really careful about what you say because many people get overly offended if you have any preferance about anything. I had a friend who said she hoped she didn't get too many hand made quilts because while beautiful she figured she'd get a lot (we know a lot of quilters who regularly give beautiful handmade quilts at showers) and she didn't know what she would do with a lot of quilts. Somehow this got back to some of the quilters and they all got offended and didn't want to buy her anything because they thought she was greedy. I felt bad for her.

jumagirl · September 2009

I wouldn't be offended if someone specified no pacis, diapers, etc.

Me personally, I wouldn't specify simply b/c I don't want to hear people preach on about, "oh, just you wait and see. Cloth diapers will get real old real fast and you'll be begging for disposables." I'd rather not invite that "wisdom" and just return anything unwanted later on.

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