Birth Stories

Marlie's arrival (super long)

The day before I went into labor, I was restless and wanting so badly to meet my daughter. I did some jumping jacks and then went for an entirely too long walk around the neighborhood.  On the last block, my stomach started aching terribly and I thought I wasn?t even going to make it home. When I finally made it, I layed down and did my kick counts because I was afraid that I overdid it and something would be wrong.  Everything was fine and I waited for Ryan to get home.  When he did, we ?reset the clocks? and since we had been doing that all week and nothing had happened, I didn?t think anything would this time either. Afterwards, Ryan had a talk with Marlie and told her all about her room and that we had everything ready for her. He told her it was okay to come out and that she didn?t have to be scared and that we were so excited to meet her. Again, I didn?t get my hopes up into thinking anything would happen because of it. I went to sleep thinking of what I would do the next day to try to pass the time.

I woke up several times throughout the night to go to the bathroom. After about the fourth time around 7am, I started to walk back to our bedroom to go back to sleep and I felt something leaking. I took a few more steps, thinking it was normal third-trimester fluid loss, and I felt it again. I stopped dead in my tracks and went back in the bathroom to investigate. Every few steps a little more would come out. I checked it out and it was clear and odorless?definitely not pee. So I stood in the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror for a few minutes thinking ?Oh my! Could this really be happening?!?? I knew that the odds of a pregnant woman?s water breaking before labor or contractions began was something like one in ten, so I couldn?t believe it would be happening to me. I walked back into our bedroom and said Ryan?s name a few times. He awoke startled, thinking he had overslept and was late for work. I laughed and asked him if he wanted to have a baby today. I told him what was happening and that I thought my water was breaking. Within a few minutes, I was on the phone with labor and delivery who confirmed that it sounded like my membrane had ruptured. They told me to come on in and get ready for a birthday party! After calling our parents and a few other close friends and family, we were on our way to the hospital.

When we arrived at the hospital and got checked in, the nurse, Kevin, did a test for amniotic fluid that confirmed that I was leaking fluid but my water bag was not yet broken. I was a little nervous about having a male nurse because I had only dealt with female doctors and nurses so far. He explained everything he was doing as he did it, which I really appreciated. He said that he always tried to treat patients as if it were his own wife that he was taking care of. He was wonderful and in the end, my only complaint with having him as my nurse was that his fingers were the size of sausages, which I jokingly told him during one of my internal checks. He even came to check on us the next day in the post-partum ward, even though his shift ended before Marlie was born, but I digress. After being monitored for the light contractions and Marlie?s heartbeat for a little while, Kevin suggested we walk the halls to try and get things moving. At this point I was dilated to 4cm and after my first walk I was 5-6cm dilated! It was working and I was over halfway there. The doctor suggested they break my water to get things going even more since after my water started leaking, there was about 24 hours before Marlie would be at increased risk for infection. I agreed to let them break my water and oh my goodness. I laughed at myself for thinking that my water had broken before. This was insane. I knew from my ultrasounds that I had an abundance of amniotic fluid but this was ridiculous. After soaking three giant pads, we went for another walk and before I had even made it all the way down the hallway, my next pad was full, pooling and puddling. I cannot imagine what might have happened if my water had actually broken in public. Luckily, we were right next to a bathroom and poor Ryan being such a trooper, ran to the nurse?s desk to get me another pad. Before all this, I knew that he could tolerate some level of T.M.I. girl talk, but I guess I had underestimated his ability to not be squeamish in situations like these. He totally proved me wrong and handled all of the ?gross? moments with such sympathy and grace. I kept thanking him and apologizing as he helped me, uh, clean up and he just kept reassuring me that it was fine and he could totally handle it. I was so grateful to have such an amazing husband at this point and he only got better as the day continued.

Shortly after we got back to my labor and delivery room from our second walk, my mom had arrived and I was so happy to see her. While Ryan was doing a great job, I knew that he was counting on her as much as I was for support. The contractions were getting quite a bit stronger at this point, so my mom and I went for another walk while Ryan went to go get something to eat.  Around the time he got back, my contractions were getting much stronger. At about 6pm, I was dilated 6-7 cm and ready for an epidural to be followed by a low dose of Pitocin in order to speed things up in time to deliver within 24 hours of my water leaking. Getting the epidural was a really weird, icky feeling. I expected relief within 10 to 20 minutes, and after a half hour went by with little effect, the anesthesiologist was called back in to up my dose. Once it kicked in, I felt none of my contractions that were steadily climbing the charts. This relief was short-lived. I had to be constantly turning from side to side and after one turn, my new nurse Tanya checked me to see if I had dilated any further. It was like the epidural quit cold turkey at that moment and from that point on I felt everything. I believe they attributed it to the fact that Marlie was still sunny-side-up and tilted to the left, so basically I went the rest of the way with no pain relief?something I had not planned on at all. Sometime shortly before the epidural stopped working, my mom had left to go get some food and had to be called back in because things had begun to move very quickly at that point. I was not really a fan of my new nurse and was relying heavily on Ryan and my mom to help me through each contraction. I remember saying at least one thousand times how badly I wanted to and had to poop, but it was just the pressure of Marlie?s head. When it came time to push, the nurse was most pleased when I pushed like I was pooping, so my mom?s new chant during each contraction became ?Poop, Annie! Poop!? It sounds funny, but at the time, it really helped! The contraction monitor kept losing track of Marlie?s heartbeat during pushes, so I had to get an internal monitor attached to her head. This was something that I was against in my birth plan, but it?s amazing how my feelings changed when it came down to making sure my baby girl was okay. Ryan kept asking me if I wanted ice chips or a cool washcloth on my forehead but I couldn?t answer him, so he would just give it to me. It was like I went into a trance-like state at the end of each contraction and I remember the nurse saying how good it was that I was relaxing in between pushes, but I literally couldn?t have done any differently even if I wanted to. The worst part of all the pushing was when I had to be in the doggy-style position because I felt the pressure the most and my physical, emotional, and mental energy was definitely wearing thin. The doctor came in several times and tried to ?turn? Marlie out of her sunny-side-up position, and although she dropped enough for Ryan to see her head, she was just not having it. Finally, after two hours and forty minutes of pushing, the doctor said I could keep pushing for another half hour or go with a c-section. I never thought I would be so eager for major surgery in my life. Before he could even finish his sentence, I was saying ?Yes, yes, yes. C-section.? I stopped pushing during contractions after that, and my mom stayed dutifully by my side while Ryan quickly changed into scrubs. I was somewhat sad that after as far as we had come, my mom wouldn?t get to be present for the actual birth of her granddaughter. I really wanted her to be there, but it was time to get to the operating room and I took solace in the fact that I?d had such an amazing support team there throughout my labor. Together, Ryan and my mom were so completely amazing and I couldn?t have done it without either of them. Every time I said ?I can?t do this anymore,? both of them were so encouraging, telling me ?but you are doing it Annie!? I am so grateful and thankful to God for putting them by my side.

They started to wheel me away to the operating room and it was hard because I felt alone and had no one to hold my hand during contractions. The anesthesiologist was asking me questions about what I could feel below my waist and I couldn?t answer him because I was in so much pain. I was poked in the back again but this time barely felt it. Soon the pain was gone and I felt rather euphoric to my delight. My hands and arms were shaking violently because of all the medication and adrenaline coursing through my body and they strapped them down while my legs were straight out. I joked about feeling like Jesus on the cross and after what seemed like forever, Ryan was finally by my side. The doctor began the operation and within minutes, I heard it: the most beautiful cry in the entire world.  I knew at that moment, my life was completely over, and I knew I would never ever be the same person again. It was instantaneous, self-sacrificing, and all-consuming. The cry was that of my little daughter Marlie. Ryan and I immediately broke down into tears and he left my side only to go see her. When he brought her over to see me for the first time, a feeling washed over me that I could never have imagined feeling no matter what anyone said. Nothing I had ever done in my life mattered up until this moment, and as she stared into my eyes, I felt my entire heart and soul leave my body and become entirely encompassed into this little life that Ryan and I had created together. It was the most amazing experience of my life so far. I love my little girl so much that it hurts, and seeing Ryan with her makes me fall in love with him all over again. I?m very excited to see what our future holds for us as a family. Marlie has made us a family instead of a couple, and she is the joy of our lives.

Marlie- I love you sweet baby girl. You are so precious to me and I am so happy that you and I are going to be a part of each other for the rest of our lives. Please know that you will always have a safe haven here in mama?s arms, as I do with my mama, and that I will always be here to love you and dry your tears and want you no matter what.

Re: Marlie's arrival (super long)

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