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2nd Trimester
mrs.oz
member
Anyone "Team: We know but we're not telling the gender"?
mrs.oz
member
DH and I wanted to be team green, but I'm getting a lot of diagnostic U/S's and more likely than not, an amnio. ?We were thinking about just finding out the gender but not telling anyone. ?I think it sounds mean...to know what you're having but not share with anyone, but on the other hand the idea kind of appeals to me. ?If we were to find out, DH made the suggestion that we tell people we don't know what we're having rather than rub it in people's faces that we know but we're not telling.
Is anyone else finding out what they're having but not telling anyone?
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Re: Anyone "Team: We know but we're not telling the gender"?
Well, if you're going to keep it a secret, I would definitely go with telling people that you don't know yet instead of telling them you know, but aren't telling. I just think the second option would just open the door for people to harass you about it until the baby is born.
Also, are you planning to register? And if so, are you plannning to go gender neutral for everything? Because I would think that would give it away to people even if you don't tell.
something seems rude and/or immature about saying, "We know, but we're not telling."
If you do find out and don't want people to know then I think you should just lie and say you don't know.
Initially the baby didn't cooperate which was true. We later found out but opted to keep it between us, at least until the shower. I've heard that you tend to get more practical gifts when folks are limited in buying pink/blue clothes and other items.
?
We've gone through a lot of downs in this pregnancy and other than the fact that I am pregnant, we haven't shared anything more with anyone. ?None of our family knows we?conceived?with fertility drugs, no one knows I had a miscarriage earlier this year, no one knows I'm high risk. ?It's a lot to keep to yourself, but we have because of the nature of our families (big mouths and very?unsympathetic...we've learned our lesson in the past). We're still really guarded about the pregnancy. ? So really, it's just one more thing we'd keep to ourselves.
We are! We wanted to find out, but our parents were trying like hell to persuade us otherwise. So we decided to find out but not tell anyone that we're finding out. It's actually kind of fun that DH and I have this little secret to share with each other.
Plus, one of my girlfriends said she wishes she wouldn't have told anyone because at her shower all she got was cute little girl clothes.....nothing from her registry. Don't take that the wrong way, I appreciate anything anyone gives us, but I'd much rather be getting the absolute essentials at the shower. I've already gone out and bought a bunch of clothes anyway.
We're team smug! But we tell people IRL we're team green, and that we asked the tech not to tell us the gender, which is true...but we did see it!
I just didn't want everyone to get all caught up in this baby (first grandbaby on both sides) being a boy or a girl, and I didn't want to get a ton of all pink (bleck) or all baby blue (bleck) stuff! I don't like pale yellow either...but I'm trying to get the word out that I like bolder colors.
Plus I didn't want the extra pressure of picking JUST a boy or girl's name. We tell people we have a list of names we like, but have decided on any yet, which is true.
I didn't know there was a real "team" for this. ?Awesome! ??
Why would you not want people to know if you know????
And do you really want everything to be gender neutral when you know the sex?
Sounds pointless to me.
We know and we are not telling. When people ask, I tell them that we know but we are keeping it a secret. I initially was not planning on finding out the genders but since we are having twins, i felt like I should be as prepared as possible. I, however, don't like the idea of everyone else knowing all the details about our babies and prefer that they wait to find out the sexes. There is really no need for anyone else to know the sexes at this point because there no preparations for them to do. I am also not having a baby shower so no one needs to know in order to buy gifts.
This is our first child, but we're planning on having 4-5, so getting all gender neutral stuff is ideal. We're doing the nursery neutral, and fairly plain. I just hope we don't get a bunch of yellow :-P
I have already had 6+ u/s, NT scan, genetic testing, quad screen etc...and am firmly Team Green. If you do not want to know, you don't have to find out just because you are having tons of genetic tests. I did not do an amnio, but I am guessing that they would respect your decision not to know the gender. We tell our tech at every u/s and remind our oB & MW at every appt that we are Team Green and it has never been an issue.
If you are committed to being Team Green, do it.
Personally I would never find out, but not tell people. It is just weird to me.
I agree, honestly my friends that knew but didn't tell made me think that i really didn't care that much anyway...
We're team Green, but family members for some reason keep harassing us wanting to know why we're 'keeping it a secret'. That 'it's okay they won't tell' (yeah right.)
I don't think it matters what you say or do, someone will have an opinion. I wish I knew the gender, but the baby was uncooperative and the tech didn't care enough to try any harder to see.
Good luck
We know but aren't telling (first guess was at the NT scan, second guess was in the ER last Monday, third guess was Thursday at my follow up with my OB for the ER trip and they have all been the same).
We have been very open with our loss, TTC journey, IF struggles. This is the one fun thing we get to keep to ourselves and we are enjoying it. Plus, then DH gets the fun "It's a _____!" moment in the waiting room.
I have said this before, but it is YOUR baby so you can do whatever makes you happy. You are not obligated to tell everyone everything and as others have said, no matter what you decide, people will still give you a hard time.
We are finding out in a couple weeks but I am not telling my friends and family back home until my baby shower. I live out of state and want to tell them in person and I also don't want to get all gender specific gifts at my baby shower.
We know and we haven't told anyone. Yet. We are going to tell them this weekend at DS's birthday party. Actually, I am making the layer in DS's smash cake blue so he's actually going to be the one to "tell" everyone.
Anyway. We didn't find out DS #1. I wanted to find out with this one for a variety of reasons (long story for another day). DH and I were going to keep it to ourselves, but we found this to be too difficult. We refer to the baby as "him" to each other and to DS. I have found myself slipping and making quick cover-ups all of the time. I know that I can't get through the next 19 weeks w/o slipping big time. This way, we can still surprise everyone (no one has any idea we found out) and I won't have to worry about a slip down the road.