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2nd Trimester
avbliss
member
Happiest Baby On the Block VS. Baby Wise
avbliss
member
Which technique are you reading up on? And which one are you going to try first?
I had a friend HIGHLY recommend Baby Wise over Happiest baby on the block, and I have yet to read either. I plan on reading both though and try a mix. I do however think it's really important for baby to learn how to put themselves to sleep, and not rely on music, motion, or me.
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Re: Happiest Baby On the Block VS. Baby Wise
6/20/11 mc @ 5wks
10/19/11 mc @ 17wks- Trisomy 18
IUI #1 4/26/12 BFN
Moving on to IVF in July
37 with DOR...fabulous
ER 7/14/12 6R 5F, ET 7/17 3 embies, beta #1 7/26: 147, beta #2 7/28: 326, beta#3 7/30: 422...ugh, beta#4 7/31: 607...hopeful, beta #5 8/2: 1280, beta #6 8/7: 7184 and u/s shows 1 possibly 2 sacs! 8/14 2 beautiful heartbeats! 9/24 we are TEAM BLUE!!!!!
After rocking my 1st son to sleep everynight for what seemed like FOREVER, only for him to wake up when I would put him in his crib, I determined when my 2nd came around that I had to make a change!
Several friends recommended Baby Wise so I tried it. It worked wonders for us. My 2nd son was sleeping through the night by the time he was 6 weeks old and always went to sleep on his own.
I'm not saying Baby Wise is for everyone, but it worked for us so I'll probably give it a try again this time.
Babywise is super controversial. There have been reports that people who follow the plan with their newborns end up with under-nourished children, b/c newborns should be fed on demand. Babywise says to feed baby ONLY every 3 hours. Ridiculous, in my opinion. I nursed my son when he wanted to eat.
I'm sure if you use common sense, and follow pediatrician's recommendations, you'll be fine.
I have read and done a lot of research on Baby Wise for my childhood and developmental psychology classes, and I personally strongly disagree with it.
I would really recommend reading Bright From the Start by Jill Stamm, PhD.
FWIW, now having two babies with completely different tempraments, I would probably take each book with a grain of salt. I read Baby Wise and there was no way I was going to do what they told me - especially with the feeding.
I eventually used "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Mark Rosenbluth (I think). It isn't one specific method on getting your child to sleep, and it explains temprament a lot better than ANY other book that I read - and I was that crazy mom who read every book. I had PPD with DD#1 (Zoloft for DD #2), and I think that reading all of those books contributed to my anxiety. I felt like there were so many conflicting opinions on newborn care, and that doing any I was doing harm. HSHHC was the ONLY book that made sense and made me feel better.
Oh, and using HSHHC for DD#2 (not crying it out, feeding on demand, a lot of attachment parenting, nursing as a sleep cue), she NEVER fell asleep by me, pretty much always fell asleep by herself, and took (and still does take) great naps. All my friends call me the sleep nazi because I am so committed to my kids' sleep.
Good luck.
I've seen the HBOTB DVD, and read Babywise.
They're really talking about very different things. HBOTB is about soothing your baby. Not so much about getting them to sleep, or keeping them asleep, just about keeping them from crying all. the. time.
I found the techniques to be extremely useful in the early weeks with DD, and I think they would fit in well with just about any parenting style.
Babywise is more about how to structure your baby's days, with the major goal being to get them on a predictable schedule and to get them sleeping through the night at an early age (3 months or so). Honestly, I think that ALL of those types of books tend to work well for certain babies and not for others. For example, DD put herself on an every-3-hour eating schedule by about 6 weeks of age -- so the schedule recommended by Babywise was nothing crazy for her. I know other newborns need to eat much more frequently, and then yes, sticking strictly to Babywise's schedule could absolutely cause harm.
I recommend HBOTB highly. I don't recommend Babywise, but I don't not recommend it either, if that makes sense. It's worth reading and seeing whether you think it'll work for your family... but don't take it as gospel, because it's not.
Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)
EDD: 03/01/13; DD: 10/26/13
Mourning the loss of Amarine Stella, born at 21 weeks, 6 days.
We will always love you, our little angel.
I haven't read Happies Baby on the Block, but I have read Baby Wise cover to cover because it was given to me as a gift and I've had several friends recommend it. We'll probably try the method as it seems to make sense for us and all of our friends who have used it have extremely well behaved children who stick to their schedules well. So while I can't compare, I will recommend Baby Wise.
Corporal punishment? Wow. It was 10 years ago when I used Baby Wise but I must've missed that part.
This was my experience with BabyWise. My DH and I studied up before DS was born. We followed the rules (which I agree with) and we happen to have a horrible sleeper. Both my DH and I agree that the book really got our hopes up and gave us unrealistic expectations on what DS would do. He didn't end up sleeping through the night until he turned 1.
So just be careful. Nothing is a sure-fire way to guarantee a perfect, sleeping baby.
This time around we are not reading up on anything since it didn't serve us well the last time and just made for two upset parents and one confused baby.
I read Babywise, and frankly, it pissed me off. In the introduction, it basically stated that if you feed your child on demand, s/he is going to grow up to be a self-centered, demanding, spoiled human being that no one will want to be around. On the flip side, if you make a child follow YOUR schedule and 'work them in' to how your family works, they will see that it is more important to put the good of the family first and will be a joy to be around.
Personally, I think it's developmentally inappropriate to make that expectation, and the idea that an infant, who doesn't know anything other than its own needs should NOT come first when they're helpless and completely dependent on others for care is just ridiculous. FTR, I demand fed (most kids fall into a fairly regular schedule on their own anyway), DD slept up to 7 hrs at a stretch by a few months old (though didn't completely STTN until probably 18 mos), and I'm constantly being told how well-behaved she is, and she doesn't have a selfish bone in her body. Truly that has much more to do with temperament and the examples and expectations you set for them than it does how you structure their day when they're newborns!! I'm not saying that schedules in themselves are bad... we follow one fairly closely and have since DD was probably closer to 6 mos on, but it's simply designed to give HER a sense of security so that she knows what's coming next and is designed to be flexible to fit whatever situations may arise. I just don't think you need to force a newborn to bend to your will and your schedule... life is SUPPOSED to change when you add a baby to your life!!!
Additionally, there are a LOT of doctors, nurses, professionals and parents who have criticized and advised people NOT to use their methods b/c of the unsafe and unhealthy outcomes for some of its users. It has been GREATLY modified in the last several versions, but the old ones are still out there in libraries and whatnot. Most of the time if you use common sense, you won't be damaging your child, but there are many parents who just want to do things 'right' and don't want their child to end up being that spoiled, selfish kid who ::gasp:: doesn't sleep through the night by 12 weeks.
HBOTB?? I really liked the concept, but it didn't all end up working for DD. We used some of the concepts, but she hated being swaddled... I had to wait until she was mostly asleep to do it b/c she'd be perfectly content without it, but would scream bloody murder with it! It just wasn't worth it, and we ended up all sleeping better when her arms were free. But other than that, I did like it, and do wish it'd worked better. I think it would've been really helpful had DD had 'colic' or been high maintenance, but she wasn't.
I recommend some reading by Dr. Sears. I tend to lean toward attachment parenting, and his books give some really good, practical and neutral advice. It's also important that it was written by a PEDI who had a passel of children who must've felt close to him, as 3 of his sons work with him now, as opposed to Gary Ezzo, who has no medical degree, nor any degree that involves children at all, who had two children with whom he has a tepid relationship. The doctor that he supposedly worked with will not comment on his degree (if any) of input into the book, either.
(Sorry if I repeated what others have said... I've been writing this in fits and starts all day, and haven't gotten a chance to see if anything new has been posted...)
Here's a link to some info as well... there's a rebuttal site written by the Ezzo's, but it ends up attacking the critics, not addressing the issues that said critics have a problem with...
https://www.ezzo.info/
I know a lot of people have had success with it (I got it after a friend of mine highly recommended it), but in light of how absolutely different I felt about such things, the fact that it literally made my stomach tie in knots reading it, AND the fact that it's been denounced by so many different sources led me to go a very different route.