Ask a New Mom

Payne2B2008 · September 2009

Feel free to ask away about anything

BabyMenzel · September 2009

same here! (if you have questions about babies who are older!)

madalynnsmommy09 · September 2009

Oh I have some!!

1. Are the first 2 weeks at home as hard as they say? Any tips to help with this?

2. Did having LO affect your relationship with DH? How have you made sure your relationship stays top priority?

3. What was the hardest part about being a new mom?

4. What are the "must have" items for a new mom?

Janell's Nest · September 2009

adamswife:

Oh I have some!!

1. Are the first 2 weeks at home as hard as they say? Any tips to help with this? No as long as you set your expectations low, don't try to clean your whole house, or cook a gourmet meal, just go with the flow and let the little things go you'll settle into a routine pretty quick.

2. Did having LO affect your relationship with DH? How have you made sure your relationship stays top priority? Not really, it was kind of a natural progression. I sometimes wish we could get away with out Ian for a night but our anniversary is coming up, so I am sure that will happen .

3. What was the hardest part about being a new mom? Doing it all, and alone for me. DH travels for work and is gone from M-Th so I have to do all the night feedings, day feedings, everything...I am thankful when Ian takes a nap so I can get some me time, even if its to get things ready for the next round.

4. What are the "must have" items for a new mom? Ear plugs (just kidding)...I don't really know...I keep a notepad around everywhere because between the lack of sleep, constant remembering of the last time he ate, pooped, etc, you forget where you put your house keys, or that lunch get together with friends...and its nice to write that down

Payne2B2008 · September 2009

sweet we have a taker

adamswife:

1. Are the first 2 weeks at home as hard as they say? Any tips to help with this? I didn't think it was that hard but they did by by fast

2. Did having LO affect your relationship with DH? How have you made sure your relationship stays top priority? our relationship is great, having Aiden helped make it stronger. if you want to know more tmi about this send me a pm & I will tell you all about that part of it.

3. What was the hardest part about being a new mom? having to "plan & pack" just to make a quick run up to the store.

4. What are the "must have" items for a new mom? SO many I could write a book I LOVE my Baby K'tan carrier we have used it since Aiden was around 2 weeks old.

MrsAshley16 · September 2009

1. Are the first 2 weeks at home as hard as they say? Any tips to help with this? I didn't think they were that hard. For us, we just set our alarm and expected to get up every 3 hours for feedings, we (I) accepted that the house wouldn't be spotless, dishes would stay dirty for a while, etc. You have to go into it understanding and accepting these things, and I think you'll be fine. I didn't even leave the bedroom the first 2 days we were home (besides to the adjoining bathroom of course!), and it was great!

2. Did having LO affect your relationship with DH? How have you made sure your relationship stays top priority? At first, it didn't. I felt like we were WAY closer. Over the months, we have definitely drifted. I am 100% focused on Olivia and being with her as much as possible when I'm not working. DH is not the same...he's worried about yardwork and hanging out with friends and all that. I think that's been our biggest struggle...I wish he were more involved with her and everything that goes on. As she's gotten older and mobile and more "fun", he's coming around, so that's getting a bit better. And, he's taken on cooking on the weekends since everything during the week is left up to me, which has also helped a ton!

3. What was the hardest part about being a new mom? For me, it's friends not understanding. A lot of our friends don't have kids, so it's hard for them to understand where we're coming from. For instance, I've never been a big drinker. Since having Olivia, I'll have a couple beers here and there. A couple weeks ago I had MORE than a couple beers, and was SUPEr sick the next day and laid in bed for most of it. I felt horrible not being able to take care of my child, so I've again sworn it off for a while. My friend is PO'd because I won't be drinking/partying it up at her bachelorette party in a couple weeks. She just can't understand where I'm coming from because in her mind, DH can take care of Olivia if I'm sick...well, that's not what I want.

And, it's hard getting used to the idea that we can't just pick up and go whenever we want (shopping, to a movie, out with friends...).

4. What are the "must have" items for a new mom? I agree with a pp...keep a notepad handy! For the first 2 weeks we wrote down every time we changed her and fed her (and I had a c/s so I wrote down when I took my pain meds). I could barely remember by own name with all the changes and adjusting, so it came in WAY handy.

madalynnsmommy09 · September 2009

Thank you girls, I am very nervous about the first 2 weeks because it seems everyone is telling me horror stories.

Did you limit family for the first 2 weeks? (almost ALL our family is in the area and I expect we will have lots of vistors, I have no problem asking them to bring dinner or clean, but will I want alone time?)

Did you prepare any meals ahead of time? How many would you say?

MrsAshley16 · September 2009

We decided not to limit anything, but people were pretty respectful on their own. We had tons of visitors in the hospital (I was there for 4 days). The first week we were home, a couple friends and my parents and grandparents stopped by. The first weekend we were home, my MIL came and stayed with us. I thought it would be torture, but it was exactly what we needed. She cleaned up, make us food all weekend and helped with some of the baby care. Once DH went back to work, after 2 weeks, my mom came over for a few hours every day to help me out. Again, thought it would be horrible, but it was much needed. I don't think you'll honestly know how you feel until that time comes, but there's nothing wrong with either way (being alone, or having visitors).

We didn't prepare anything ahead of time. We stocked up on lots of frozen easy to cook/prepare foods and meals. That got us through a couple weeks, along with MIL's weekend of food, which came with lots of leftovers. When the few people came to visit us, they brought dinner with

Megsd721 · September 2009

?Are the first 2 weeks at home as hard as they say? Any tips to help with this? My first two weeks were wonderful and awful! Sooooo tired, but that has to be expected. I felt like we were zombies for a couple weeks but it didn't help that I got sick after my c/s from having retained placenta- a fever of 104, a breast infection, I felt like I had the flu. I ended up in urgent care, then the ER. So that kinda made it worse. Just enjoy your time with your baby, and expect to be feeding, changing and sleeping. Sleep when your baby sleeps!!

What are the "must have" items for a new mom?

I loved the boppy for nursing, extremely helpful and comfortable.?

We did not limit visitors and I got very overwhelmed the first few days. ?We came home and had OOT guests, and I was a basket case. Family and friends are just excited and I think it depends on how you feel after delivery whether or not you should limit visitors. ?The extra help is nice, But all we wanted to do was hold and cuddle our LO.

BabyMenzel · September 2009

adamswife:
Oh I have some!!

1. Are the first 2 weeks at home as hard as they say? Any tips to help with this? I think i might be a bit biased because I am a single parent. Yes the first two weeks at home are as hard as they say imo. DS' dad was living with us at the time but refused to help, especially in the middle of the night. The only thing he did was hold ds and if he needed to be fed, changed or just got bored he handed him off to me. The sleep deprivation is MUCH MUCH worse than you can ever expect. You can't even start to explain it until you experience it
My mom took half days the first two weeks ds was born and kept me company during the day/helping out and letting me nap
The thing that always made me calm (and is weird) was that I have to have an empty sink....dirty dishes in the dishwasher. If I had a sink full of dirty dishes it would make me freak for some reason

2. Did having LO affect your relationship with DH? How have you made sure your relationship stays top priority? We broke up 2m before ds was born but stayed living together (worst decision ever. he only stayed on the lease so he wouldn't be required to pay support)

3. What was the hardest part about being a new mom? Doing it all on my own when it should be a 2 parent thing

4. What are the "must have" items for a new mom? Someone to talk to even if it's just to say hi and see how you're doing. The material things are just that. If I wouldn't have had anyone to talk to, I would've gone insane.

BabyMenzel · September 2009

adamswife:
Thank you girls, I am very nervous about the first 2 weeks because it seems everyone is telling me horror stories.

Did you limit family for the first 2 weeks? (almost ALL our family is in the area and I expect we will have lots of vistors, I have no problem asking them to bring dinner or clean, but will I want alone time?) We didn't have the need to limit visitors. Most of my family lives within a 5 mile radius of us but they had lives too and knew what it was like with new babies around. I would've LOVED if people would've come and visited more often. It got very lonely some days.

Did you prepare any meals ahead of time? How many would you say? I didn't. Meals were simple, nothing that took any time or that you could microwave AND that you could eat with one hand (literally). If I did end up having a REAL meal it was late at night after ds was asleep, and of course, how it always worked, he woke up just as I was ready to eat so I was always eating cold meals.

BabyMenzel · September 2009

MrsAshley16:
3. What was the hardest part about being a new mom? For me, it's friends not understanding. A lot of our friends don't have kids, so it's hard for them to understand where we're coming from. For instance, I've never been a big drinker. Since having Olivia, I'll have a couple beers here and there. A couple weeks ago I had MORE than a couple beers, and was SUPEr sick the next day and laid in bed for most of it. I felt horrible not being able to take care of my child, so I've again sworn it off for a while. My friend is PO'd because I won't be drinking/partying it up at her bachelorette party in a couple weeks. She just can't understand where I'm coming from because in her mind, DH can take care of Olivia if I'm sick...well, that's not what I want.

And, it's hard getting used to the idea that we can't just pick up and go whenever we want (shopping, to a movie, out with friends...).

This too! I am not a big drinker either and rarely drink now. I also used to be "get up and go at the drop of a hat" kind of person. Now I can't.

Spockles · September 2009

adamswife:

Oh I have some!!

1. Are the first 2 weeks at home as hard as they say? Any tips to help with this? The first 2 weeks were tough for us. I ended up having a c-section though, which I think added to things being hard. It really just takes time to adjust to being home with a new little person. Once you start to figure out your babies cues, it gets easier.

2. Did having LO affect your relationship with DH? How have you made sure your relationship stays top priority? Somewhat. It really is just an adjustment getting used to having a baby. It takes a little time to get used to how things change with having the baby at home. Unfortunately, I think my relationship with DH takes a backseat to DS's needs. He is our number one priority now and I think that our relationship was suffering because of that. Things are getting better now though. It was also tough because before we had DS, DH seemed like he was going to be so helpful and once DS was born he was less than helpful, which caused tension. We still have moments where it gets tough, but overall, things have improved. It just takes time to get used to.

3. What was the hardest part about being a new mom? Lack of sleep. Trying to balance taking care of DS and taking care of myself during the day. Not being able to just get up and go somewhere.

4. What are the "must have" items for a new mom? Make some sort of chart to keep track of the feedings (how much, when, etc...) and diaper changes (wet or BM or both). I also love my boppy for BF (if you choose to) and also to prop baby up on and once LO is a little bigger, it can help support for sitting....also good for tummy time to prop them up a bit.

mikeandmonica · September 2009

I'm not much of a new mom at all anymore, but I'll answer anyway! 1. Are the first 2 weeks at home as hard as they say? Any tips to help with this? It isn't that bad at all - I mean depending on your own personal recovery - I found it was much easier at home than in the hospital. And just know that the house isn't going to be all the time clean and be okay with that. People are going to want to come see the baby (have Purell on hand or make them wash their hands and don't feel bad about it), and they are going to accept that that house isn't 100% show perfect. When you get tired and need a break, send people home! DEFINITELY take baths a lot to help any stitches (if you need them) to be able to heal. I would jump in the tub for 15-20 minutes 2-3 times a day (longer at night sometimes to relax and give DH time with the baby). A friend didn't and she wasn't healed at 6 weeks. 2. Did having LO affect your relationship with DH? How have you made sure your relationship stays top priority? It definitely had an impact, but in a good way. We figured out that we really are a good team, we both share in all the kid responsibilities, etc. It is important to make sure you are on the same side in terms of all the kid stuff - things like discipline aren't so important in the very beginning, but the time comes quickly when you will need it and it helps to be on the same side. Same with the CIO/crib/cosleep/etc. - do you agree on the game plan? That is important. To make sure the relationship stays top priority we go on date nights whenever family is willing to keep the kids. We also try to make "date nights" after the boys are in bed - so we'll bring out the candles and eat at the table together by candlelight (even if it is just a frozen pizza) 3. What was the hardest part about being a new mom? The hardest part for me was having to take care of a baby while being in pain/recovering myself. Then, of course, is the no sleep. At first it doesn't seem so bad because you are so excited about the baby, but then after a few days it will hit you and you'll barely be able to keep your eyes open! The other hardest thing was all the advice I got from random people, and the random people that would attack my choices while I was out and about. In Target, random people would ask me if I was bfing or Ffing, and then they would rant about how much better Bfing is (for example). Or when I said I was just on maternity leave and was going back to work - OMG - you would have thought I was bringin my baby to the devil to be babysat. It took a LONG time for me to have the ability to tell those people to shove it. 4. What are the "must have" items for a new mom? Tucks pads (for wiping/cleaning/hemm.if you get them), if you have a boy and are circing, we had a supply of vaseline (the tube kind so it squirts out) and guaze pads (we bought them at target and cut them in half). I know that you are only supposed to have to do that the first little bit, but it just looked so raw and to be safe we kept it on there for much longer than that. Also, the disposable pads that you can buy at BRU are great to put under the sheet between the sheet/mattress pad - so if there are leaks you can just leave the mattress pad and put a new sheet on it. We also use them in the PNP - because I don't know how to clean that little pad in there - you can't really throw it in the wash! So we put down the disposable pads, then the sheet. If you have a boy, we found Huggies worked best for us (they both leaked out of pampers/luvs every time). Also, be sure that he is always pointing down. Seems obvious, but we didn't even think of it at first and couldn't figure out why he was leaking out the top of his diaper (duh)! As for limiting visitors - no, we didn't limit who could come visit. If people were excited, they came to visit. We just made sure to tell them when it was time to leave and not feel bad about it.

Want a personalized experience?

Ask a New Mom

Re: Ask a New Mom

Choose Another Board

Search Boards