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*francisca*

SBMBride406SBMBride406
in Preemies

I was gone over the weekend so I just now read your post below re: bonding. I just wanted to tell you what you are feeling is perfectly normal! I didn't really bond with DS until he was about 7 weeks old and we spent all day every day together, just the 2 of us, in the Pediatric ICU. Before that, I felt like I didn't really "know" him. We only spent a couple hours a day together in the NICU, and there were always nurses looking over my shoulder, telling me what to do, acting like I was incapable of caring for him, etc (I was still really sick, too). Even when we first came home, my mom and DH were there and they had more knowledge on what to do, so they did more with caring for him. It wasn't until I was his sole caregiver (in our PICU, parents have to be there 24/7, nothing like the NICU) that I felt like we really bonded. I think it took up to that point for me to knock out my subconscious thoughts of "what if he doesn't make it?" as well.

There's also the shock of "what happened?" and grieving for the loss of a happy pregnancy, normal delivery...there's a process of letting of go of the way you hoped/thought things would be.

Anyway, I've said it before, but none of this has affected our relationship at all. We are thick as thieves and I am definately his favorite. I think once you have them home and you fall into a routine where you feel more like a mom to them (let's get real, it's hard to feel like a mom in the NICU - it's a completely abnormal situation) the bonding will come easily. You're an awesome person and a great mom! ((BIG HUGS))

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