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Other people's kids holding your LO

kcbrandlekcbrandle
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

How do you feel about this?  We have two nieces that are 7 and 8.  They have never been around babies.  We always have the boppy around and place it on their lap, then lay DS on his back on the boppy.  The girls have asked if they can prop him up, burp him, walk around with him, etc. and I always say no, thanks.... he is really happy how he is now and his neck isn't very storng...etc.

Well, MIL was sitting with nieces and went against our wishes and propped up our DS on the girls and they were burping him.  His head was wobbling everywhere.  Now I am concerned that the nieces will try this every time they hold him.  They act like he is a toy (want to put him in their doll furniture, use doll bottles with him, etc).

I know I am over-paranoid.  Anyone else feel this way about children holding your baby? 

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Re: Other people's kids holding your LO

  • D-lightfulD-lightful

    oh gosh, hes so small, I would be worried too. Especially about them putting things in his mouth! what the heck.

    I would make sure you give them lessons on how to hold the baby. They are definately old enough to hold him while sitting, maybe feed him, burp with supervision and assistance, but they shouldn't be left alone.....

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  • Lesley0228Lesley0228 member
    It makes me very uncomfortable too. I grin and bear it through holdings though and they are closely supervised. I would be upset with MIL, if she knew your wishes.
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  • mamaofliammamaofliam
    I am more laid back with this one than with my first, but I still am careful, obviously. I don't want young kids walking around with baby but I will let them hold him if they are sitting down and I show them how to hold his head. I don't have any kids wanting to play dolly with him but think I would wait until his head is stronger for that, if I were in your shoes.
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  • MamiJamMamiJam member
    I don't like or let little kids hold DS.  Even though he has very good head/neck/torso control, I'm just not comfortable with it.  MIL needs to respect your wishes especially since LO's head was wobbling!  If you feel comfortable with them holding LO while you're there then show them how to properly hold a baby otherwise just tell MIL you're not comfortable with it and don't want her to let them hold him when you're not there.
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  • mjlx207mjlx207
    My cousin's daughter is 7 and has a little sister who is 4 months older than MJ.  They came over one day and were playing with MJ on the floor when she was about 2 months old.  I went to the bedroom to get a diaper and when I came back the 7 year old was holding MJ and walking with her.  My cousin was like "oh she holds her sister all the time! No big deal!"  Uh, big deal to me.  I just said "oh, my, well Mady was pretty happy on the floor let's just put her back there..."  So yes, you have every right to be uncomfortable and you need to set limits.  If anyone has a problem, don't forget it's your child!
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  • beckytrbeckytr member
    I let neices and nephews hold DS (youngest is 7) but only sitting still in a cradle hold with an adult right next to them.  I would not be comfortable with anything else and I would certainly not feel bad about saying no, he's too little right now.  I wouldn't leave MIL and the baby alone with your nieces again.  
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  • 2bulldogmom2bulldogmom member

    imagebeckytr:
    I let neices and nephews hold DS (youngest is 7) but only sitting still in a cradle hold with an adult right next to them.  I would not be comfortable with anything else and I would certainly not feel bad about saying no, he's too little right now.  I wouldn't leave MIL and the baby alone with your nieces again.  

    Ditto.

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  • erinmserinms member
    image2bulldogmom:

    imagebeckytr:
    I let neices and nephews hold DS (youngest is 7) but only sitting still in a cradle hold with an adult right next to them. ?I would not be comfortable with anything else and I would certainly not feel bad about saying no, he's too little right now. ?I wouldn't leave MIL and the baby alone with your nieces again. ?

    Ditto.

    I agree. ?He will be bigger and stronger every day and there will come a point where you are not as concerned. ?But until then I would try to avoid the situation if possible.?

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  • raisbaibraisbaib
    Yes. I absolutely hate it. My neices are 12 and 14, my step-kids are 10 and 11. I do not feel comfortable with any of them holding DD. My mom thinks it is fine for my oldest neice to feed her and I am not comfortable with that either. None of the family sees a problem with this except me.
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  • PeskyPesky member
    No, you're not over-paranoid.  Would you really trust your child's life with a 7 or 8 YO?  Here's the thing, it's fine to sit the baby on their laps and let them try to burp him but your MIL should be holding his head and supporting him more than their little hands can do.  And your MIL should be following it up with the burping.  It's great that they want to help, but I would just encourage side by helping rather than active.  So no walking around with him, no burping them by themselves, etc.  I would encourage them to show him a rattle or a toy, etc.  That's it.  And would force them to wash their hands a lot too.  FWIW, I don't even let the 11YO next door hold or walk around with DS at that age and her mother doesn't want her too either.  Now I would let her hold him sitting down but that's it.


    image
    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

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  • kcbrandlekcbrandle
    image2bulldogmom:

    imagebeckytr:
    I let neices and nephews hold DS (youngest is 7) but only sitting still in a cradle hold with an adult right next to them.  I would not be comfortable with anything else and I would certainly not feel bad about saying no, he's too little right now.  I wouldn't leave MIL and the baby alone with your nieces again.  

    Ditto.

    This is impossible because MIL has adopted our nieces (long story).  I think I'll just have to have a confrontation- a polite one, of course.  At the end of the day... you have to do what you think is best for your LO and yourself.  Thanks for the reassurance everyone!

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