2nd baby and shower.....

isithereyet? · September 2009

If my friends ask to have one for me should I say no? I DON'T expect one at all but just curious if you would if your friends wanted to! What do you ladies think about the situation???

kates2480 · September 2009

etiquette would be no.

Alexandra*sMom · September 2009

I would say that I do not want a shower, but being treated to a pedicure and dinner before baby is born is another story!

kpt · September 2009

we do a 2nd shower in our mom's groups. i think its fine. we dont go as crazy as the first shower. but we have bagels/fruit at a playgroup and bring small gifts- clothes if they know the sex, especially if its the opposite of the first child. or just small gifts. its really nice and fun.

Alexandra*sMom · September 2009

kpt:
we do a 2nd shower in our mom's groups. i think its fine. we dont go as crazy as the first shower. but we have bagels/fruit at a playgroup and bring small gifts- clothes if they know the sex, especially if its the opposite of the first child. or just small gifts. its really nice and fun.

I guess our Moms Club does 2nd, 3rd showers too. It is always during the Lunch Bunch though.

isithereyet? · September 2009

I know, nothing big. I think little ones are nice.

michellejdent · September 2009

If your friends initiate it and it's small and is a gesture of love and friendship to you, why would you say no?

I don 't think it should be over the top.... but I don't think you should tell them no if they offer because they are wanting to do something nice for you.

SevenThree2004 · September 2009

I would say no. Unless it has been a LONG time since you had your first child.

If they insist you could recommend a lunch to go out with friends?

adcffaa · September 2009

I don't know that I'd have a full blown baby shower but maybe just a party with friends and family and should they feel they want to give a gift then thats fine. So rather than sending out Baby Shower invitations have them be Party invitations and just mention somewhere that gifts are not necessary. That way your friends can throw you a baby shower like they want and you wont feel weird about accepting gifts for a second child.

I know its not etiquette to have a baby shower for any other child except the first but I feel every child should be treated the same. They should all be "showered" with gifts when they come into this world. In my opinion the baby shower is for the baby, not so much the parents. I mean, does a couple not have an engagement/wedding shower if its their second marriage?

g8trkim · September 2009

Since your other child is still young, I would say no. Maybe they could just have a get together for you and hubby to celebrate the baby, rather than an actual shower.

kawanders · September 2009

We always do baby showers for every baby....just for the 2nd and 3rd ones we all give diapers (of all different sizes) and wipes and call it a "diaps and wipes" party :-) It will save you a fortune and girls love a chance to get together and eat cake :-)

LisiLynn · September 2009

When I was pregnant with #1 it came up on the boards that this seems to be a bit of a regional thing. Here in the Pacific NW we seem to do showers for every child. They are smaller of course for subsequent children especially if they are the same sex, but people still need things, a child is still a great blessing and why not shower the Mom with new things for the new baby? If its a child of the opposit sex, of course lots of clothing and toys geared toward that gender, dolls vs. trucks etc. Or we pitch in for gift cards to help the new parents out with the more expensive items like the double stroller, 2nd car seat and what not, if it is the same sex, personalized items for the new baby are always a hit as are cases of diapers and wipes even more so if the children are so close together that #1 is still in diapers.

jme0654 · September 2009

kawanders:
We always do baby showers for every baby....just for the 2nd and 3rd ones we all give diapers (of all different sizes) and wipes and call it a "diaps and wipes" party :-) It will save you a fortune and girls love a chance to get together and eat cake :-)

This. I think the diaper party is a great idea!

Lisa10e · September 2009

My DD is almost 7, she will be 7 1/2 when LO is born. My family and friends already told me I have to register because we are getting a shower. I told them I totally dont expect it but they say when its been 5+ yrs between babies you get another one. I know they dont have to do it but I am so thankful, all we kept from DD was her crib!

butterbeansmama · September 2009

We celebrate every birth, so we would have a meet the baby party. Nobody gave me a shower for our first, but we had a meet the baby party (1 month after he was born) and we will do the same this time.

I like the idea of the diapers and wipes party. This is what costs the most and is the most needed (especially right away).

witoga · September 2009

I know my friends will offer but I will decline...I dont think it is necessary, given the economy being as it is I would feel greedy...there is nothing that we need for baby #2 that we cannot provide ourselves.

michellejdent · September 2009

witoga:
I know my friends will offer but I will decline...I dont think it is necessary, given the economy being as it is I would feel greedy...there is nothing that we need for baby #2 that we cannot provide ourselves.

I'm not sure how greed can be associated with a shower that is meant to celebrate the mom and her upcoming baby.

Showers aren't initiated and hosted by the mother to be, so how can she be accused of being greedy when others have offered to celebrate her?

witoga · September 2009

michellejdent:

witoga:
I know my friends will offer but I will decline...I dont think it is necessary, given the economy being as it is I would feel greedy...there is nothing that we need for baby #2 that we cannot provide ourselves.

I'm not sure how greed can be associated with a shower that is meant to celebrate the mom and her upcoming baby.

Showers aren't initiated and hosted by the mother to be, so how can she be accused of being greedy when others have offered to celebrate her?

Yes, I know all that. I said that I would "feel" greedy. Personal feeling. I did not associate it with showers. We were incredibly blessed with an abudance of gifts with DS and honestly we don't "need" anything. I and my baby will be celebrated by my friends and family without a shower...

witoga · September 2009

michellejdent:

witoga:
I know my friends will offer but I will decline...I dont think it is necessary, given the economy being as it is I would feel greedy...there is nothing that we need for baby #2 that we cannot provide ourselves.

I'm not sure how greed can be associated with a shower that is meant to celebrate the mom and her upcoming baby.

Showers aren't initiated and hosted by the mother to be, so how can she be accused of being greedy when others have offered to celebrate her?

Yes, I know all that. I said that I would "feel" greedy. Personal feeling. I did not associate it with showers. We were incredibly blessed with an abudance of gifts with DS and honestly we don't "need" anything. I and my baby will be celebrated by my friends and family without a shower...

Mrs. J · September 2009

I understand that a lot of people don't agree with having a shower for a 2nd baby, but I like the idea of all babies being celebrated. My SIL had a boy 4 years ago and just had a little girl recently. We threw her an outfit party which was a lot of fun, but it was obviously on a smaller scale than the 1st one. I like the idea of the diaper party too.

Mrs.M317 · September 2009

IMHO, if it is different guest lists what does it matter? You wouldn't be expecting/getting 2 gifts from people, so what's the big deal?

ETA: I'm a dope. I thought you meant a 2nd shower for this baby, not a shower for your 2nd child. My bad.

IrishBrideND · September 2009

IMO you should turn it down.

It has nothing to do with celebrating the baby. If it was, the baby would be there for it. Its about the mom. You can celebrate the baby without asking for gifts. Have a lunch after the child is born.

miniddev · September 2009

I have already been told I am having a shower if I like it or not. However, this time around most of my friends have all had kids too. If it is another girl, it will be a diapy and wipey party, and if its a boy, it will be a recycle me party. Most of my friends have all kept their clothing from their LO's. This is one way my group of friends can recycle the clothes and not have to spend to much (that and who doesnt love a a good hand me down?)

KaitlynDC6 · September 2009

Personally, I have already turned down the offer for another one. This is mainly because we had a ton of showers (all with different crowds, and nobody would let me turn them down - they wanted to do it, so I let them! ) for dd, so I just can't see myself accepting any more.

However, this is just me personally, and I would never judge someone else for having a second one. It is possible (gasp), that people actually enjoy buying a small gift for a baby...;) Especially a baby of someone who they care about.

NYC_CT · September 2009

I think a "sprinkle" for a 2nd baby is appropriate. You invite close friends and family and gifts are not necessary. It's more a celebration than a shower.

Shsteph4 · September 2009

I agree, in my HUGE family we do more than 1 shower but call it a Sprinkle. It is usually just close family and friends and not overdone. No registry or anything.

IrishBrideND · September 2009

KaitlynDC6:

It is possible (gasp), that people actually enjoy buying a small gift for a baby...;) Especially a baby of someone who they care about.

And it is possible (gasp) for people to buy gifts without being asked to. If someone wants to buy you a gift, they will regardless of if you have a shower.

Want a personalized experience?

2nd baby and shower.....

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