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Baby Showers
Please look at Registry! (vent)
My inlaws had a very small baby shower for us this weekend (they live 6 hours away) which we got up WAY too early to get to and we were still an hour late. I opened all our stuff which was all very nice and cute but please when someone includes a thing in your invite that they are registered somewhere take a minute and check out the registry. Two people got stuff from the registry person 1 bought two things from the registry and person 2 got us a gift card from the place we were registered. Every one else just bought random stuff. Yes a picture frame that says something about having a boy is cute I don't need a frame or a dozen frames really. Same with photo albums that are blue. Clothes are great but again please think, "NB" size is UP to 8 pounds... some babies are born over 8 pounds... meaning the kid may never wear that stuff.
Sorry I'm a little annoyed by people and needed to vent somewhere, DH can only take so much bad mouthing about his family. Although he commented on how annoying his mom was being.LOL
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Re: Please look at Registry! (vent)
A registry is just a guideline. I truly do not expect all of my shower guests to buy stuff off my registry. People tend to buy what they want, so just be happy that they cared enough to spend money on you and show up for your event. It will save you a lot of stress and irritation in the end.
Kind of sucks for your guests that you were an hour late to your shower too......
Awww, I am sorry you didn't get what you needed/wanted, but as pps said, a registry is just a guideline or wishlist AND no one has to buy you anything, let alone anything off the registry.
Also, it is too late now, but anytime you reveal the sex of the baby, you are (in my experience) going to get more clothes and stuff that people think is "cute" versus the stuff you really need.
For the life of me though, I don't know why people insist on buying newborn clothing. I NEVER buy newborn clothing for a shower. Ever. I just bought a friend some NB stuff because they had a preemie.
Had MIL bothered to ask us when we could get there we wouldn't have been late. She went ahead an planned a shower knowing we'd be there but not when. Like i said we live 6 hours away, we left our house at 6 am to attempt to get there near noon. Didn't happen being pregnant you do need to stop a 6 hour no stop ride doesn't happen anymore.
And yeah i get it i should be happy people bought me stuff to begin with. You people miss the point of a vent.
First thanks for understanding my vent. Clothes are great we need them I'm fine with that and like you said NB stuff is more for preemie's. People there said to us, "I didn't know what you needed so i got you..." Sorry I forgot to mention that.
A registry is a guide not requirement. Be grateful you had a shower and people cared enough to give. Stop whining.
ETA - and no we didn't miss the point of your vent. You sound very selfish and self centered complaining about not getting gifts you wanted, no matter why you didn't want them!
After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
I'm sorry you didn't get stuff you needed! I can completely relate. At my shower, all we got were clothes--and then they weren't even the right sizes (my LO is not going to wear a tank top/short outfit at 12 months because it'll be freezing where we live!)--and we didn't get gift receipts. Yes, we were grateful for people buying us stuff, but we were annoyed as well.
Unfortunately, people here on the bump are very sensitive about complaining about baby showers, calling you ungrateful or a brat if you dare mention how you would have preferred stuff off the registry. However, in my experience in real life off the boards, my friends were completely shocked and also annoyed to learn that we have just received two items off our registry. I know we can't tell people what to get us, but I know I try to get people stuff they actually need instead of stuff I think they might want or is cute. .
Thank you. And I must say WOW summer stuff for cold months huh? Some people just pick things up and don't think about time of year. That makes me think they found a sale and just picked up some random cheap thing. Which I'm not against but think about how old the kid will be when it's warm again and get the size they "should" be in by then. I think we got two gift receipts out of all the stuff we got, I always include one even if it's something i 'feel' shouldn't need to be returned.
This, and if it is a 6 hour drive and the shower started at noon, you should have left before 6am or gone the night before.
I used to work in the children's section of Macys in college and people make this mistake ALL THE TIME. I used to always ask when the baby is due to help people pick out clothes. It doesn't necessarily mean that they picked up some random cheap thing. People just pick up whatever they think is cute, then they are in this mindset that they are shopping for a baby that is just born. A lot of people don't automatically do the counting the months thing and lining that up with the outfit.
My friend's 10 lb baby is in newborn gear.
The only thing that I really felt "bad" about w/ people buying my clothes too small or too big (for the wrong season) is that I felt they were wasting THEIR money.
I got a couple photo albums- some that I won't use. Same w/ clothes. My only "annoyance" was just that I felt bad for them that they wasted their money when there was plenty of stuff they could have bought that we would put to good use.
But otherwise- I apprecaited the thought. Which it doesn't really sound like you do.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I understand you would have liked things off your registry. They are a guide though and you just have to "know" your guests. If the people at the shower are a bit older they will mostly like NOT buy off the registry because that was never heard of (even when I had my first 2 kids). I buy off the registry for one gift but if I know the sex I always buy a cute outfit as well (or if the registry item is expensive I'll get the cute outfit after the baby is born). Also, like the other pp said...if you announce the sex of the baby people will want to buy the cutsie outfits (they are way more fun). BTW...my DS weighed 9.7 and wore newborn size for at least a month. It's possible you can return some for larger sizes. As for the pp getting clothes that are the wrong season...she may be surprised. Just because something is a 12 month summer dress and it is November...her DD might be in that size come summer.
I know people said you should just be greatful people came and bought you a gift because they didn't have to. Actually, that is not true. If they attend a shower they ar required to bring a gift. Now...obviously they can opt out and decline the shower invite and no gift is required...but a shower IS a gift-giving event and one is required. Obviously your greatful people came...but you need to just accept that many people do not buy off the registry. BTW...if you are having another shower near your home...expect the same (then you'll be pleasantly surprised if you get a lot off the registry).
Also, as for being late for your shower...you should have driven up the night before even if you had to stay in a hotel/motel. You would have been much more rested and not tired from a 6+ hour drive (and been on time for your shower).
I look at registries all the time and sometimes, I won't buy off of it because there are some ridiculously overpriced items on it and you (in general) won't use it but once.
My ds is 10 and I didn't register with him. Whatever I was given, I was grateful for, and what I wasn't...I bought myself.
It sounds like they went to some trouble for you...be appreciative at least, and remember this was a gift!
One of my best friends had an 8 lb 5 oz baby seven weeks ago...NB clothes were swimming on her then and she is still wearing them with no signs of them being to small yet. So don't automatically count out NB's.
I agree to with PP's about how if you knew the shower was at noon then you should have left earlier, especially knowing you'd have to stop more. I don't see where that is your MIL's fault.
I would have to say that I feel your pain about getting NB sizes. I think that it is just common sense not to buy that size. Especially b/c people can safely assume someone will. I don't know why people are being so rude about your vent. Yah you got gifts and YAH you are thankful but who wouldn't be disappointed at getting things they didn't need. I often times don't follow a registry but I do look at it and make sure I see what kind of things they needed.
But seriously you can't be late for your own shower you def should of thought about having the time be at 2 or 3 pm instead of 12.
Hey, there is a registry for a reason. People should stick to it.
Uh yeah good luck with that one. Report back when you have your shower in a few months and see if people followed that logic.
wow--not missing the point--
you sound absolutely ungrateful-- a gift is a gift
first i would have been in a bad mood to start with if I had to get up super early to go to a party for me too, your mil should have asked what time would have worked best for you or offered to have you come the day before, if you could have.hopfully you can exchange whatever you dont think will work for you, i dont understand people that say they Never buy off registries that is rude you Never buy off of them ? why not . you know that people took extra time to create it in the first place,
good luck mabey you can get store credit.
I do agree with your vent. At least some of it. Sure, we should be grateful for whatever we get, etc. But it's not very nice for you OR the gift givers if you can't use the items bought. If you got half a dozen frames and a bunch of photo albums and items that don't match the nursery or your 3rd baby bathtub, it's all going to end up in good will. Especially if it can't be returned.
The registry isn't just to show what you want - it's to help people to see what's already been purchased.
This would be especially upsetting if you can't afford to purchase all of the items that your baby needs. I had a relative who lost her job while she was pregnant and was very short on cash. She was struggling to get the basics. Someone gave her a Tiffany rattle.
Generous - yes. Helpful or useful - no.
People are also being a bit over the top suggesting that you should have stayed in a hotel for the shower. Maybe you can't afford that? Maybe your mother in law didn't offer accomodations. Maybe you weren't given a choice about the time.
It doesn't sound like a very fun time - after six hours in the car, you must have been exhausted. If you had a great time but didn't love your gifts, that would be fine. But to have an exhausting time and not even get what you needed must have been a bummer.