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Bedsharing help... holding baby safe while sleeping?

Traycee1242Traycee1242 member
in Attachment Parenting

The last few nights DS went from the sidecar to sleeping on my chest... basically all night.

I would nurse him, then put him on my chest (my head was propped on 2 pillows) with the intent to burp.. but I would fall asleep and wake up hours later when he stirred to feed again.

I never feel like this is unsafe while I'm doing it. It feels natural and wonderful actually. But the next day I think about it and kind of freak out if it's safe or not..

Any advice would be appreciated!

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Re: Bedsharing help... holding baby safe while sleeping?

  • soon2Bclcsoon2Bclc
    I'm not usually on this board, but I have to say, I think it's VERY unsafe.  I don't understand how people can sleep with their babies in thier bed.  The danger of you rolling over on him or him rolling off of you or a blanket smothering him, ahhhh! Scares me to death.  Keep him in the side car if you need him in bed with you! My mom has done daycare for 27 years and goes to SIDS classes all the time so I know about all the precautions that should be taken, fan in the room, sleeping in thier own crib/bassinet, no blankets, no bumpers, etc....Why take a chance in my opinion? I know that AP is very different from my views, but I just hope that everyone is educated on SIDS and other consequences of co-sleeping.  I feel very strongly about this subject and I just had to respond, but obviously, t's just my opinion.
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  • Mrs.TeddyMrs.Teddy member

    I am not sure if that is safe or not....I guess it depends on how deeply you sleep as well as if LO could fall out of the bed...

    We bedshare as well and I believe it can be safe. We follow all the "rules" we have a  bedrail up on the side of the bed, L sleeps beside me, not between DH & I as he is a deep sleeper. We use seperate thin blankets. Only one thin pillow each. We have a fan in the room and would never have him in the bed with us if we were drinking etc.

    From everything I have read bedsharing with a breastfeeding mother is very safe.  Some research actually suggests it decreases SIDS as mom is in tune with LO & LO regulates their breathing to mom's etc. I believe that unsafe bedsharing (with smokers, heavy blankets, other children) can increase the risk for suffocation but not SIDS-they don't even know the real cause of SIDS. I have done a lot of reading on this as L sleeps so much better with us and it allows me to sleep while nursing in sidelaying position. It goes against everything I have been taught in nursing, and yet we are doing it & I am very comfortable with it.

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  • manda_mullinsmanda_mullins member

    We did that for a month...it was THE ONLY way LO would sleep. I however did not sleep very well lol. 

     

    If it makes you uncomfortable, maybe you could stand up or sit up to burp so you won't accidentally fall asleep. 

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  • coconuthoneycoconuthoney
    I know what you mean- we did this a lot in his first month. I never felt like he would fall or I would roll on top of him or anything. Now he is too squirmy to sleep on my chest and he is in the co-sleeper full time. I kinda miss it.
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  • liongish119liongish119
    imageMrs.Teddy:

    I am not sure if that is safe or not....I guess it depends on how deeply you sleep as well as if LO could fall out of the bed...

    We bedshare as well and I believe it can be safe. We follow all the "rules" we have a  bedrail up on the side of the bed, L sleeps beside me, not between DH & I as he is a deep sleeper. We use seperate thin blankets. Only one thin pillow each. We have a fan in the room and would never have him in the bed with us if we were drinking etc.

    From everything I have read bedsharing with a breastfeeding mother is very safe.  Some research actually suggests it decreases SIDS as mom is in tune with LO & LO regulates their breathing to mom's etc. I believe that unsafe bedsharing (with smokers, heavy blankets, other children) can increase the risk for suffocation but not SIDS-they don't even know the real cause of SIDS. I have done a lot of reading on this as L sleeps so much better with us and it allows me to sleep while nursing in sidelaying position. It goes against everything I have been taught in nursing, and yet we are doing it & I am very comfortable with it.

    This for our family too. Yes

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  • CalinsBrideCalinsBride

    Bed sharing is actually very safe as long as you follow the safety guidelines. BF moms are incredibly in tune with their babies and research shows its actually a safer option when done correctly. Author of Happiest Baby on the Block believes that having a baby sleep on your chest, as long as you are not a deep sleeper, overweight, a smoker or intoxicated, is totally safe. It's also the way that nature intended things, and the way they do things in MANY other cultures. Don't listen to pp who tell you that "its not worth the risk." The risk of getting into a car accident with your LO is MUCH higher than the risk of bed sharing, are you never going to drive? No, you are just going to make sure you do it safely--with a carseat, LO in the back, etc. That kind of ignorant comment really pisses me off. I'm a fantastic mom and would never do ANYTHING to hurt my baby. I take the necessary percaussions to make sure that he's safe, and firmly believe that my son is safer with me than anywhere else.

    https://safebedsharing.org/safetyguidelines.html

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  • CamiejaeCamiejae
    imageCalinsBride:

    Bed sharing is actually very safe as long as you follow the safety guidelines. BF moms are incredibly in tune with their babies and research shows its actually a safer option when done correctly. Author of Happiest Baby on the Block believes that having a baby sleep on your chest, as long as you are not a deep sleeper, overweight, a smoker or intoxicated, is totally safe. It's also the way that nature intended things, and the way they do things in MANY other cultures. Don't listen to pp who tell you that "its not worth the risk." The risk of getting into a car accident with your LO is MUCH higher than the risk of bed sharing, are you never going to drive? No, you are just going to make sure you do it safely--with a carseat, LO in the back, etc. That kind of ignorant comment really pisses me off. I'm a fantastic mom and would never do ANYTHING to hurt my baby. I take the necessary percaussions to make sure that he's safe, and firmly believe that my son is safer with me than anywhere else.

    https://safebedsharing.org/safetyguidelines.html

    This. 100%. 

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  • GypsyEsqGypsyEsq member
    imageCalinsBride:

    Bed sharing is actually very safe as long as you follow the safety guidelines. BF moms are incredibly in tune with their babies and research shows its actually a safer option when done correctly. Author of Happiest Baby on the Block believes that having a baby sleep on your chest, as long as you are not a deep sleeper, overweight, a smoker or intoxicated, is totally safe. It's also the way that nature intended things, and the way they do things in MANY other cultures. Don't listen to pp who tell you that "its not worth the risk." The risk of getting into a car accident with your LO is MUCH higher than the risk of bed sharing, are you never going to drive? No, you are just going to make sure you do it safely--with a carseat, LO in the back, etc. That kind of ignorant comment really pisses me off. I'm a fantastic mom and would never do ANYTHING to hurt my baby. I take the necessary percaussions to make sure that he's safe, and firmly believe that my son is safer with me than anywhere else.

    https://safebedsharing.org/safetyguidelines.html

    YesYes and to the OP, DD and I slept like that in the hospital and the nurses never once commented, in fact, skin to skin contact and sleeping was encouraged by both my first overnight nurse and my lactation consultant as a way to encourage DD to breastfeed in that early very sleepy period.

     

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  • cindy453cindy453

    imagesoon2Bclc:
    I'm not usually on this board, but I have to say, I think it's VERY unsafe.  I don't understand how people can sleep with their babies in thier bed.  The danger of you rolling over on him or him rolling off of you or a blanket smothering him, ahhhh! Scares me to death.  Keep him in the side car if you need him in bed with you! My mom has done daycare for 27 years and goes to SIDS classes all the time so I know about all the precautions that should be taken, fan in the room, sleeping in thier own crib/bassinet, no blankets, no bumpers, etc....Why take a chance in my opinion? I know that AP is very different from my views, but I just hope that everyone is educated on SIDS and other consequences of co-sleeping.  I feel very strongly about this subject and I just had to respond, but obviously, t's just my opinion.

    my pedi knows Em has been sleeping with us and didn't comment. I even said, "she sleeps on my chest"

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  • ncbellencbelle member
    imageCalinsBride:

    Bed sharing is actually very safe as long as you follow the safety guidelines. BF moms are incredibly in tune with their babies and research shows its actually a safer option when done correctly. Author of Happiest Baby on the Block believes that having a baby sleep on your chest, as long as you are not a deep sleeper, overweight, a smoker or intoxicated, is totally safe. It's also the way that nature intended things, and the way they do things in MANY other cultures. Don't listen to pp who tell you that "its not worth the risk." The risk of getting into a car accident with your LO is MUCH higher than the risk of bed sharing, are you never going to drive? No, you are just going to make sure you do it safely--with a carseat, LO in the back, etc. That kind of ignorant comment really pisses me off. I'm a fantastic mom and would never do ANYTHING to hurt my baby. I take the necessary percaussions to make sure that he's safe, and firmly believe that my son is safer with me than anywhere else.

    https://safebedsharing.org/safetyguidelines.html

    Another ditto on this.  Bed sharing done safely is thought to actually lower SIDS risks since mama's breathing helps baby regulate his breathing (or so the theory goes).

    I would sleep with kiddo on my chest when he was a newborn - even though I move a lot in my sleep when I sleep by myself (or with DH) I hardly move at all when kiddo is there - I strongly believe in mother's instinct.  When he was smaller (and not on my chest), I would put him between me and the co-sleeper (so not between me and DH as we didn't trust DH not to roll - or rather DH didn't trust himself.  I would sleep facing him.

    Now that he's older, he sleeps on either side of me (I usually move him when I nurse).  I also don't worry about blankets and pillows in the same way (not that I'm loading him up with them but I do use a sheet on us).  He also belly sleeps now whereas I always put him on his back when he was small.

    I guess my final word would be do what you feel comfortable with.  If bed sharing makes you uneasy, don't feel like you have to do it.



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  • jen_and_tomjen_and_tom
    imageGypsyEsq:
    imageCalinsBride:

    Bed sharing is actually very safe as long as you follow the safety guidelines. BF moms are incredibly in tune with their babies and research shows its actually a safer option when done correctly. Author of Happiest Baby on the Block believes that having a baby sleep on your chest, as long as you are not a deep sleeper, overweight, a smoker or intoxicated, is totally safe. It's also the way that nature intended things, and the way they do things in MANY other cultures. Don't listen to pp who tell you that "its not worth the risk." The risk of getting into a car accident with your LO is MUCH higher than the risk of bed sharing, are you never going to drive? No, you are just going to make sure you do it safely--with a carseat, LO in the back, etc. That kind of ignorant comment really pisses me off. I'm a fantastic mom and would never do ANYTHING to hurt my baby. I take the necessary percaussions to make sure that he's safe, and firmly believe that my son is safer with me than anywhere else.

    https://safebedsharing.org/safetyguidelines.html

    YesYes and to the OP, DD and I slept like that in the hospital and the nurses never once commented, in fact, skin to skin contact and sleeping was encouraged by both my first overnight nurse and my lactation consultant as a way to encourage DD to breastfeed in that early very sleepy period.

     

     

    ditto on both of these.  dd was in my bed from day one.

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