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Just need to vent

simplegirl226simplegirl226 member
in Blended Families

Ok so DH pays BM $200 a month. There is no court order saying that he owes her anything for child support. We get the kids 50% of the time and pay half of everything. It just irritates me that he pays her that money. Why you ask? B/c he used to give her that money for child care but the boys have no needed child care in like 4 years but he kept giving her the money b/c she said that she runs the boys to Drs appts and picks them up for school so he owes her gas money. Well I can guarantee you that she does not spend $200 a month in gas charges picking them up from school and taking them to appts. It just irritates me b/c we could be using that money to pay some bills.

I do realize though that we have it good considering what some of you have to pay but I just wanted to get this off my chest.  Please don't flame me!

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Re: Just need to vent

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    SaranSaran member

    No flames here. We pay $250/mo (Mediator let DH pick an amount out his butt that he felt was fair cause we have joint 50/50. It's unheard of but true) I wanted to kick him like, give her butt $50 just to say she gets something and lets call it a day. DH felt that even though he didn't feel he owed a dime to her, he loves his kids and wants the best for them so give her some money to cover afterschool care with the babysitter and lets move on.

    Your DH obviously feels for whatever reason that he wants to give that for his kids and if he doesn't seem bothered by it and it's what he wants to do, then let him. I'd love to use that $250 to put away for family vacations or to put the kids in music lessons but it is what it is and because those are his kids, I have to be ok with it.

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    Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    Do you think there is any chance that DH and BM would agree to put that money into an account for the kids?  Like a Roth IRA so that no one but the kids could touch it?
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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    MrsBPOMrsBPO member

    imageLittlejen22:
    Do you think there is any chance that DH and BM would agree to put that money into an account for the kids?  Like a Roth IRA so that no one but the kids could touch it?

    It can't be a Roth IRA unless the kid is working and making a salary.  However, a UGMA savings account would be proper.  Online savings such as HBSC, ING and others, or a savings and loan will have excellent rates.  One of our local ones (Boeing) has a UGMA at over 6% for "super savers."

    Maybe they can think about it and come to some sort of compromise.  The kids can have first car or college funds started with it.


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    J+RJ+R
    I think that it is completely unnecessary... I think that YOU guys should keep the $200 (maybe open up a bank account) and use that money when you guys want to do fun things or go on a vacation together as a family... Also, if you guys could use that money - by all means you should be. I imagine when the kids are there, they are adding to the utilities costs, etc. therefore you should have that money.  I would have a serious issue if my DH was giving his ex money that he shouldnt.
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    DREWLILYDREWLILY
    No flames here! I'm with you! We pay a little more than you do per month and we also have SD 50% of the time and I don't agree we should be paying anything. I would take SD to school if her BM would let me, but she refuses to let me do anything like that, and other than that, we drive SD around places when we have her. We don't go asking for gas money from BM, that's a ridiculous notion. If she needs money for specific things, she can ask and your DH can decide then if he wants to pay for those things, he should help her out for activities and things like that. How did he not end up with CO'd CS???
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    kdiaisflykdiaisfly
    The laws in all states really need to be re-evaluated. My man pays his BM $4000/month. Granted he does make good money but still, 4000 for a 3 year old, c'mon! oh and she lied to the courts said he threatened her life and his childs (completely false) so now there is an order of protection, he can't even call his BM's house to talk to his daughter. Hasn't seen her since May because of his BM's craziness and he STILL has to pay her this money even without getting to see his little girl. it's a sad situation for all involved
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