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I have an awkward'ish question

BonzerBonzer
in Attachment Parenting

so, we have been cosleeping, bedsharing whatever kitchy name you want to give it since birth.

I've tried a few times to put him in his room ( 19 months old now) he does nap in his room, but he comes straight in our bed at night. The issue isn't him not wanting to sleep in his room, it's me not being able to sleep when he's in another room. Its almost like I have anxiety and check on him constantly and panic with him out of sight at night. 

Anyone else have this problem? Anyone else need to sleep train themselves, not their kid/

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Re: I have an awkward'ish question

  • BetchySproutBetchySprout member
    Maybe try co-sleeping but not bedsharing? You could try to wean yourself off that way...
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  • webMistress0609webMistress0609 member

    I can't sleep if DS is in his co-sleeper. Which is attached to the freaking bed. I'm going to have panic attacks when it's time for him to go into his own room. 

     

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  • KKMMexKKMMex
    My friend was a little like this and she ended up getting a video monitor.  It really helped her a lot to be able to see her child in his room.  Maybe that would help?

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  • jen_and_tomjen_and_tom
    I definitely think that I'm as much attached to it as DD.  I do sleep better if she's right there.  We start her in her crib most nights and she usually moves to our bed around 11.  But, there have a been a few nights when I was super tired and wanted to really stretch out and she didn't call for us.  I was a little bit happy that she was still in her crib.
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  • goodheartedmommygoodheartedmommy member
    That's the #1 reason I still have my kids sleeping with me. I don't sleep at night, I'm up every 30 minutes checking to make sure they're still there. I literally have nightmares when they're not with me. I'll be glad when we own our own home in the next few months so we can have a layout I like and an alarm system!
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  • IselaCidIselaCid member
    We tried at about a hear and a half too and nobody was getting any sleep.  Neither DH or I were comfortable with him in his room and neither was he...so we decided why fix something that wasn't broken.  We'll try again in a few months.
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  • AzaleaMAzaleaM

    I was like that.  I knew that DD could get through most of the night by herself in her own bed, but *I* wasn't able to sleep like that.  The only thing that cured it was having a second baby ;)  Seriously, as soon as I got home from the hospital, she was suddenly my "big girl".  I guess it's because I had a new LO in which to manifest my mommy anxieties :)

    I also want to ditto pp, though:  Having the video monitor for this baby has been absolutely wonderful.  I don't feel like I I have to run and check on him at every peep like I did when DD was little.

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  • Jelliebean1982Jelliebean1982
    Yeah, sometimes I bring DD in the bed just 'cause I miss her. 
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  • Princess_ArielPrincess_Ariel member
    DH is - he feels better knowing that DD is safe with us.
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  • Sally JSally J member
    At first I was like this and gradually I adjusted.  The video monitor is great, although I still find myself waking up at night just to make sure they are still there.  I don't use the video quite as much, or for naps, since I can figure out what they're doing by sound.  I love watching them wake up in the morning and see them sit in their cribs and entertain themselves...so cute!
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  • EcoBabyEcoBaby
    This is one of the main reasons I co-sleep.
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  • cateyecateye

    Could you try a mattress on the floor in your room?  That ishat we dud with DD; so I can see her if she or I wake up. 

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  • brandonsfuturewife07brandonsfuturewife07 member

    i had to do that.  my DS had surgery when he was 5 months old, and went into cardiac arrest during it due to a reaction to the anesthesia.  after a short stay in the PICU, i could not let him sleep by himself.  i was scared he was traumatized and that something was going to happen to him every time he cried.

    he slept in our bed until about a month or two after i found out i was pg (so about until he was 8-9 months).  we had to do ferber, and it worked well.  one night of hardcore crying (intervals didn't work--just made him more upset and cry harder), and 2 nights of less than 3 minutes.  now he goes down without a peep unless he is teething or sick.

    edit: we had to quit cosleeping, because i have nocturnal seizures, and it is too unpredictable when i am pregnant.  it is extremely well controlled with medication when there's not a baby in me. :)

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  • AlirebcoAlirebco
    Video monitor has helped me with my anxiety about him being in another room. 
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  • mrs.baummrs.baum
    Why not just continue co-sleeping?
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