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2nd Trimester
Disappointing U/S (kinda long)
Hey Ladies,
So I've been mostly a lurker so far but I am really feeling the need to vent after my U/S today. I'm 20 weeks now so this was the "big" ultrasound and probably the last one too. So needless to say I had been anxiously awaiting today and really excited to see how the baby was progressing. I was pretty sure that i didn't want to find out the gender but I had been going back and forth about it a lot because quite a few people were trying to convince me to find out. So I went to the appt with the thought that if the tech asks I'll decide then. Well the tech that I got today was really unfriendly and never really mentioned anything plus kept the monitor to herself for the majority of the appt. My DH could see but I got nothing. At this place they tell you you can only have one person in the room for the exam but other family members can join after to get a look at the baby for a couple minutes. My mom of course knew this so she stopped by with my Nana. When they were told they could come in the tech just seemed so annoyed that I felt guilty for having them there. So instead of enjoying the small tour of our baby I was worried about the tech being mad at us. I was also really disappointed b/c we didn't get to see any 4-d images this time where as last time we got to watch for a while. I just felt like the whole thing was blah, the pictures sucked compared to last time, the lady was really unfriendly and made me feel bad just for being there, and I think I am regretting not finding out the gender. To top it off my mom made me feel extra guilty and dumb after it was over for not asking about the gender. She even tried to make me go back in to ask and then left mad when I wouldn't. I know that maybe this is just the hormones talking but now I feel like crying about the whole thing even though it wasn't a big deal.
Sorry for the long complaining post but I just needed people who might understand how I feel
ps - anyone else regret not finding out when they had the chance?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Disappointing U/S (kinda long)
Call, ask for someone in charge, complain about the service you were offered and find out what you were having - I'm sure they know. I'm so sorry that this was the experience you had - that's just awful. Call them or have your husband call them if you don't feel up to it and get firm wtih them.
You're paying them - you're paying his paycheck by needing that ultrasound, whether it's through insurance or not.
I do not agree with this, at all. Most other people get to go in and have "fun" ultrasounds while still getting all of the important, health-related information about baby, too. This guy or girl is obviously in the WRONG line of business.
Sorry! Call and complain about the tech bedside manner.
As far as them asking if you want to know the sex, an u/s is really for medical purposes, so maybe if you don't ask, they assume you don't want to know? I think it's great that they let your DH in there while they were doing the medical stuff. No one else is allowed in the room at our hospital till after they have all the shots they need. I do know that our hospital doesn't do any 3/4D images till 30-32 weeks.
Your mom shouldn't have made you feel guilty about it, either. This is YOUR baby, not hers.
I don't regret not finding out this time, and I'm enjoying the suspense, but we also have it written down so we can find out if we want to. Is going to one of those elective places an option? You could always tell your mom if she wants to know so bad, she has to pay for it!
This isn't necessarily true. I know at our hospital, it's not standard to include that in the report. My doctor told me before hand that if I wanted to know, it's not included so I had ot ask the tech becase she wouldn't know at all.
They may get the fun shots, but that's not the purpose of the u/s. The purpose is purely medical. Anything else is an added bonus.
Right - didn't mean to imply that they would know, for sure. However, if the Ultrasound was just done today, whether it went into a report or not, the Ultrasound Tech probably remembers his Ultrasounds today. He would have seen a penis, or lack thereof, even if not looking for it.
Also, my whole point here is that if she is feeling just sick over not asking whether it was a boy or a girl, it's worth contacting the office as soon as possible to find out if they do know.
I know I may sound harsh but in my line of work I see babies die. I am thankful each day that my ultrasound showed a healthy baby. Its just something to remember. If you ask the mom of our 5 month old who has spent her entire life in the PICU waiting for a heart and possibly not going to make it she would give this same speech. The gender doesnt matter. The "fun" of the ultrasound doesnt matter. The health of the baby is all that matters.
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I agree that the health of the baby is what really matters but she wouldn't even really tell me anything about that. I asked how things were looking and she just brushed me off which made things worse because now I'm paranoid that something did look off and I know it's not her job to tell me but at little reassurance would have been nice. As well as knowing that my presence there didn't annoy her.
I think when I go see my doc I will ask if it says anything about the gender in what they sent her if not I guess I will just suck it up because I should have asked and not assumed that they would ask me if I wanted to know.
I'm also not sure that booking extra ultrasounds is an option here since to get an appointment it has to be made through your doctors office.
Our ultrasound was quite disapointing too wasn't excatly the tech's fault- the baby just wouldn't move at all. I couldn't see the screen and so I could only see the pictures at the end, and they sucked. A picture of a ball (back of head) and a spinal cord. That's it. She didn't really try hard to change it either, just let it be and wasn't apoligetic. My husband was very disapointed too, but the tech said everything looked good and normal and that is the purpose of the exam- not getting pictures! I know I should have been grateful, but it is disapointing after hearing everyone's cool stories and it was my only ultrasound
I am happy for good baby health, but I think it is okay to be disapointed with a lacking visit.
Mine was long too. And a lot more technical then I thought. The tech (male) I had a twenty weeks was serious, but he talked to us through out about what he was doing and what he was looking for. He did save the sex for last and said he saw a testicle. In Korea they normally don't reveal the sex to prevent abortions based on sex.
The second one was a few days later because the tech could not find all the vessels on the umbilical cord. They were still having trouble finding it or getting it photographed. This time the techs (two females) did not seem as friendly and did not want to answer my husbands questions. And briefly confirmed the sex again and stated she has never been wrong in 15 years.
I did do the 3D on Monday. The pictures were OK, but the Dr said the baby was not in the best position. Not to mention the baby was tired and sleepy/sleeping. 250,000 won but still worth it to know he was OK after not moving much for two days.
I feel for you. Sorry the experience was so lousy for you. If you don't call and speak up about it, I agree that you should consider paying for a 4D scan later. They can still tell you the sex and you'll probably get a DVD of everything as well. I'm booking mine soon and I think they give you a better idea of how the baby will look as well.
I know at my 20-week appointment, my husband casually asked me (in front of the tech) if we wanted to have her tell us the sex. I could see he was doing this so she would hear that we were interested as she was running all of her checks first. I casually commented back to him that once she had all the measurements she needed and if she would be willing to tell us that yes, I thought we should know. I could see her smiling out of the corner of her eye...cause I think she knew what we were getting at.
Ultimately they do have their job to do first and foremost. It doesn't help that the tech made you feel uncomfortable and if I was in your position, I may have clammed up too. But I think with it being the "big" ultrasound for many people, any experienced tech should appreciate that people may want to know and it's worth asking if they do want to know once all their measurements and checks are finished.
Try not to worry. Usually techs aren't allowed to tell anything. Mine could tell me this is the heart, this is the brain, but other than that, she couldn't tell me if things were looking "fine" or not.
My dr asked ME if we found out what sex our baby is...I was SHOCKED that she didn't know either from a report or from the pics themselves....I thought that was soooo weird but she said its not something that they tell her....lol...still too weird to have to tell your OB the sex of your baby...hahaha
Keep in mind that with many facilities the policy is that the u/s tech is not permitted to give you information about what they are seeing. It is their job to get the necessary shots/measurements and provide them to the doctor to interpret. Sometimes you may get an u/s tech that is happy to take you on a tour of the kid and tell you that everything is just as it should be, but many hospitals and facilities have strict policies against that and then your doctor or their nurse is the one to review the results with you either over the phone or at your next appt.