The SAH Survival Guide- Chapter 5 Discussion

Re: The SAH Survival Guide- Chapter 5 Discussion

• KL777 member

  September 2009

  I try not to live in fear.  I am mindful however about money.

  The money that comes into our house is OUR household money.  There is no "his" money/ "my" money---it's our household's money.

  I haven't read the book (social security question), again, I aim not to live in fear.  I'm vested from my previous employer and I will re-enter the workforce part-time when DS gets in elementary school.

  Life insurance is fine, retirement looks good.  Yes, we're prepared for financial disasters.

  "How nice would it be to be independently wealthy and live off a trust fund?!?!"  Ooooh!  That sounds nice! ;-)

  
  
  
  

   

  
  
  
  
  
   

   

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• MainelyFoolish member

  September 2009

  What is your greatest money fear as a SAHM?  Saving enough money for retirement and to pay for DD's college education. 

  What issues have you run into in regards to money and how have you handled them?  No issues that I can think of.   

  How do you cope with not having your "own" money or how do you go about making some for yourself?  I make a little money working part time, but it just goes into the joint checking account like DH's paycheck.  I really have no problem at all spending our money! 

   Did the part about Social Security freak anyone else out?!?!  A little bit, but I'm not planning on Social Security being a major part of my retirement income.  If I don't ever return to work in a lucrative position, I'll probably do better financially to collect based on being DH's spouse than my own earnings history.  I do make sure we save $5000/year in a Roth IRA in my name, on top of DH's retirement savings.

  Do you feel you are well prepared for any financial disasters that may hit (life insurance, disability insurance, retirement)?  What is the one thing you feel you should do in order to be better prepared?  I think we have adequate life insurance in place.  We looked into getting disability coverage for DH once but they told him he wouldn't be able to get much better than what he has through his employer (it's not technically disability insurance but if he becomes permanently disabled he can retire and get a disability pension).  We're saving what we can for retirement; it's not the max, but I think it will eventually get us to where we need to be to retire at 67.  What we really need to do is change our will -- we currently have custody of DD going to a divorced couple! 

  How nice would it be to be independently wealthy and live off a trust fund?!?!  Sign me up! 

  

  

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• Princess_Ariel member

  September 2009

  What is your greatest money fear as a SAHM?
  Too much free time to spend too little money.  Really, getting pregnant again, b/c not only do I feel I'd be seriously stressed out physically and emotionally, our financial accounts would be drained more so than they already have.

  What issues have you run into in regards to money and how have you handled them?
  DH finished his master's this summer, and every single expense was put on a credit card, most of which still needs to be paid off. Not only do we have our normal expenses compounding to our credit problems, but now nearly all our cards are a) tied up in minimal interest specials (so we don't want to charge anything to them), b) nearly maxed out, or due to the recession, c) limits have been decreased, d) cards have been canceled completely. I'm hoping to tap into a CD I have to pay these debts off so we can pay ourselves rather than credit card companies, but part of me hates to part with that money.

  How do you cope with not having your "own" money or how do you go about making some for yourself?
  I lucked out - my grandfather gives me a monthly stipend (equal to my last job's paycheck plus health insurance), so it's basically my money, though most of it goes to bills.

   Did the part about Social Security freak anyone else out?!?!
  Somewhat. I wish they'd let people opt to put their S.S. in their private 401(k)s, and if they get taxed for early withdrawal then that money is put in the giant pot. I almost always made more $ than DH, but I guess with me not working now it won't matter 30, 40 years from now. However, I also don't see us living on our S.S. (if it's even around), so I'm not losing any sleep over it (but I am over plenty of other stuff).

  Do you feel you are well prepared for any financial disasters that may hit (life insurance, disability insurance, retirement)?  What is the one thing you feel you should do in order to be better prepared?
  We really should get all of the above, but I feel confident that my family would help me (or at least DD) out if anything disastrous happened.

  How nice would it be to be independently wealthy and live off a trust fund?!?!
  I'm waiting for mine to come due...once the stock market bounces back, that is. (Yes, I'm one of the "Monied Moms," but I do NOT spend frivously, well, except for my Gymboree habit.)

  Do you have any questions you'd like to ask the group?  Any comments about this chapter or the book so far? 

  How'd you score on the quiz? Without looking to see how many cards we still have opened, I scored an 89. I see DH scoring a 50, can't wait to give him the quiz.

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• Jerseygirl16

  September 2009

  Read2Me:

  Hi everyone!I just picked up the book and read Chapter 5 last night so I can jump in.   I hope to be all caught up by the time next weeks chapter is up for discussion. 
   Chapter 5 Discussion QuestionsWhat is your greatest money fear as a SAHM?  DH losing his job.
  What issues have you run into in regards to money and how have you handled them?  We were doing really great by budgeting and following Dave Ramsey's advice.  We had all credit cards paid and only one car loan and one mortgage.  Then last fall DH found out his job was being eliminated.  We were very fortunate that he was able to find one with the same company and at the same salary but it was in PA and we lived in NJ.  We sold our house at a $30k loss which we had to finance and his new position did not come with a car so he had to turn his in and we financed a used one.  So now we find ourselves with $30k in credit card debt and $8k in car loans that we were not expecting.  Thankfully it's much cheaper where we are living now so we have about $1k a month to funnel to paying off debt at the end of each month.  Now though they are re-organizing his new area of the company and they just let a whole lot of people go.  His boss says that the next boss up assured them it won't affect their specific building but you never know and it's making us both very, very nervous.
  How do you cope with not having your "own" money or how do you go about making some for yourself?  Like they mentioned in the book we have the system where DH makes it and I manage it.  It's our money and I really have the control over it so I don't feel like I don't have my "own" money.  I've also done some things on the side.  The most lucrative of which was post close mortgage audits which I could do around the kids schedule and brought in a lot of money.  But, that money like anything DH made went to our joint accounts and was not just mine. 
   Did the part about Social Security freak anyone else out?!?!  It did a little but honestly our retirement is not based on SS.  I don't expect it to be around so anything we do get from it (if anything) would be a bonus.
  Do you feel you are well prepared for any financial disasters that may hit (life insurance, disability insurance, retirement)?  What is the one thing you feel you should do in order to be better prepared?  I do as long as DH continues to be employed by his current employer.  This is the big thing that scares me if he does lose his job again and this time for real.  He had a heart attack when he was only 28.  Nobody will give us life insurance on him so we have it through the employer.  He is covered at 5 times his salary so at least it's something and would give us enough to be debt free, fully fund the kids college funds, and give me some savings.  But, if he loses his job we lose that insurance and if he went to another employer they likely won't approve it above the first level that is usually offered. 
  How nice would it be to be independently wealthy and live off a trust fund?!?!  It would be awesome!  I really wish both DH and I could be home with the girls. 
  Do you have any questions you'd like to ask the group?  Any comments about this chapter or the book so far?   Not yet but I'm sure I will as I get more into it.
  

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• gatogrrl member

  September 2009

  What is your greatest money fear as a SAHM?  Buying a house that is beyond our means (and that's why we're still renting!)
  What issues have you run into in regards to money and how have you handled them?Because DD had some health issues, we had to spend a lot more on medical last year than we expected.   Thank goodness we'd been saving my salary while I was pregnant; that took away some of the sting.
  How do you cope with not having your "own" money or how do you go about making some for yourself?Well, I have a bunch that was saved while I was working.  This will be going into the down payment for our house, and then I don't know how I'll feel.  But I agree with the statements on p. 148, "I earn at least half of his income by raising our children" and "What I'm providing is infinitely more important than whatever my paycheck was."
   Did the part about Social Security freak anyone else out?!?!Yes!  My aunt had to take a crappy job in her 60's and explained it was something to do with Social Security; now I understand what.  I've got 22 years of work under my belt, but guess I need to put in 13 more.  Do you feel you are well prepared for any financial disasters that may hit (life insurance, disability insurance, retirement)?  What is the one thing you feel you should do in order to be better prepared?We're very good savers.  We need to make a will.
  How nice would it be to be independently wealthy and live off a trust fund?!?!So true!  But at the same time, you appreciate what you have more if you have to work for it.  At least, I think you do.  I wouldn't know what it feels like to be on the other side. I'm still liking the book.  Although it still annoys me that she seems to value busy-ness so highly.  Like in this chapter, she quotes a mother saying that keeping on top of finances "takes an immense amount of time and energy."  No it doesn't!  For me, it's just a few hours a month, if that.ETA: I got an 88 on that quiz.  I didn't even ask DH to take it... he leaves all the financial stuff up to me.
  
  

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• aspade member

  September 2009

  What is your greatest money fear as a SAHM?  That I'll have to return to work earlier than I'd like due to unforeseen circumstances. How do you cope with not having your "own" money or how do you go about making some for yourself?  Like a lot of other families, we saved most of my salary after we got married and were planning for me to SAH.  So that feels like I'm contributing.  Then I'm really savvy with money, so I stretch our dollars pretty far; I feel like it's part of my job.  DH and I did talk about how it might work better for keeping to a tight budget if there's a separate account for all the household needs that I'm the keeper of (we talked about this after I read the chapter). Did the part about Social Security freak anyone else out?!?!  It didn't freak me out, but I just didn't know any of it beforehand.  It was eye-opening.  Of course, we're not relying on that money being there in 30 years, but it'd be nice if it were.  It made me feel better to realize that I've already worked 22 years and that when I go back, I probably won't have taken too large a hit salary-wise. Do you feel you are well prepared for any financial disasters that may hit (life insurance, disability insurance, retirement)?  What is the one thing you feel you should do in order to be better prepared?  We have a nice savings, but we keep talking about life insurance without actually buying it.  We've got to do it soon.  Also, we need to have a will and probably disability insurance. Do you have any questions you'd like to ask the group?  Any comments about this chapter or the book so far?  I thought this was the best chapter so far.  It was long and complex and made me think a lot about our money style as a couple.  I'm a new SAHM, but so far DH is being great about the money being "our money."  The best thing we've done as a couple (other than DD) is to go to financial counseling at the beginning of the marriage to learn to budget and discuss money.  Now, it's a big part of what makes us work as a couple.  DH even designed a website that we use to manage our money and keep track of spending.  We're a good money team.

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