Do you get mad when DH goes to the bar??

Baby428 · September 2009

I am just feeling fat and ugly and don't feel comfortable with husband going to the bar with other guys who are terrible husbands to their wives. Of course DH went anyway even tho I'm feeling like this. UGHH - would you be mad?

whit022109 · September 2009

are you mad about him going to the bar, or mad about the guys he hangs out with? if DH were hanging out with guys who were "terrible husbands" i dont think id like the idea of him being at a bar with them either.

Baby428 · September 2009

whit022109:
are you mad about him going to the bar, or mad about the guys he hangs out with? if DH were hanging out with guys who were "terrible husbands" i dont think id like the idea of him being at a bar with them either.

I never cared before pregnant but now I just feel gross and don't feel comfortable with him going. The people he is with doesn't help the situation. I know I am being insecure but I guess that is what this pregnancy is doing to me....

Pickle123 · September 2009

in short...no.

KB1001 · September 2009

I wouldn't be mad.

Desmond&MollyJones · September 2009

No I wouldn't be mad.

What's the issue though? Is it because you don't trust your H? Don't like the guys that he's with? is it because H will be drinking? Or is it that you just don't want to be home alone tonight?

Baby428 · September 2009

Desmond&MollyJones:
No I wouldn't be mad.

What's the issue though? Is it because you don't trust your H? Don't like the guys that he's with? is it because H will be drinking? Or is it that you just don't want to be home alone tonight?

I don't like the guys he is with - they go to the strip clubs and one has cheated on his wife. Not sure why my husband likes them so much....

NYTXbride · September 2009

I don't usually get mad ~ depends on how late he stays and what condition he's in when he gets home...

swimrbride · September 2009

No because he doesn't go to the bar often and when he does I am usually with him and if I'm not it is with guys I like. Sounds like you need to have a conversation with your DH.

oohgrrl11 · September 2009

Thankfully DH doesn't like the bar scene. He was going to his friend's house who lives a 2 miles away every Friday night for a month or so. I was working Saturdays and in the first tri and not feeling up to going with. I didn't like it because I think he was drinking too much to be driving home. One night he tripped over something in the bedroom and I was yelling at him for driving when he couldn't even walk and then he said it was ok because his friend had followed him to make sure he got home ok. Great, 2 drunk guys on the road. Idiots. I was glad when that phase was over.

adriennevla · September 2009

Simple answer - no, I would not be mad.

OregonPachey · September 2009

Nope. DH goes every Thursday to hang out with his friends. I don't get mad.

Shell24 · September 2009

No, not at all. I would only get frustrated sometimes if he was going out so many times and I wasn't getting time away with my friends.

larsos · September 2009

As another poster clarified, I don't think the question is: "Do you get mad when DH goes to the bar?", but rather: Do you get mad when DH hangs out with friends you don't like?"

You mention they go to strip clubs and one of them cheated on his wife. I assume that him being around them makes you feel insecure, especially when you aren't feeling 100%. I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship, but I can say that I personally have a friend who cheated on her husband and never once has it influenced me to consider cheating on my FI.

So no, I don't get mad because I completely trust that he will act like an adult, regardless of who he is out with.

cma1989 · September 2009

My DH works in a bar two nights a week, then some nights will hang out for awhile after he gets off. That I don't mind. It's when he wants to go out to the bar on his other nights off that can frustrate me. Same as you, his friends are kinda shady husbands/boyfriends. I empathize.

laureneyoung@hotmail.com · September 2009

i probably would be mad. lucky for me, dh doesn't drink. if he were going out with friends you approved of, would it be different?

jenny1980 · September 2009

I would be upset with my husband's choice in friends, not going out for beers.

goldenleaves · September 2009

I don't get mad at all, but it's not like he goes every night.

kob227 · September 2009

I would be mad with the friends issue...it's not about cheating at all, just about him getting in trouble drinking. Some of my dh's friends have a tendency to act like they're still in college and dare each other to be idiots. Of course my dh can't back down from a dare. So I would be mad and worried if I didn't go to be the referee.

Case in point, we went out for his 26th bday last Friday and he proceeded to have 7 car bombs (along with various beers) in a 2 hour period. I just sat back and watched the show until he started a fight with an Eagles fan (we're outside Philly), dh and his brothers being Cowboys fans. We got kicked out of the bar. So it's entertaining when I'm there, nerve racking when I'm not.

I agree that you should have a talk with your dh, it may make you feel better.

MrsRebecca · September 2009

Not sure what you're mad at....but, no. I don't care if my husband goes to a bar. I went to a bar myself Saturday night for a friend's birthday while DH was at work.

MrsJJC · September 2009

jenny1980:
I would be upset with my husband's choice in friends, not going out for beers.

This.

Califlorida · September 2009

i'd be annoyed with his lame friends. my dh is home 99% of the time with me and DD. when he does go out, i like his friends, so it's never been an issue.

S/Cambio · September 2009

I don't get mad at all. I completely trust him. The group usually has married and single guys in it. He barely goes though, has been once since I'm pregnant.

ShannonLK · September 2009

No, I don't get mad. I trust DH and I'm also very good friends with the guys he hangs out with, even though they are all single.

You should talk with him and let him know what you are feeling.

ShannonLK · September 2009

Missy42807:
Desmond&MollyJones:

No I wouldn't be mad.

What's the issue though? Is it because you don't trust your H? Don't like the guys that he's with? is it because H will be drinking? Or is it that you just don't want to be home alone tonight?

I don't like the guys he is with - they go to the strip clubs and one has cheated on his wife. Not sure why my husband likes them so much....

If my DH had friends like that, then no, I wouldn't want him going out with them.

LittleMamaB · September 2009

No. I don't choose my husband's friends. He's a big boy.

noangel293 · September 2009

My boyfriend goes to the bar usually twice a week... I don't mind as long as he stays in contact with me (letting me know he's okay because he mostly walks everywhere)... I get jealous because I miss being able to go with him... I feel like I'm missing out on that part of my life that we used to share... but I know it's only temporary and once the baby is born, he'll be in pull on papa-mode and it'll be okay. Keep your chin up hun and talk to him about it.

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